My Immortal Mind

For the 'Mind of the Immortal' contest.

The seasons come and go
Just as time ebbs and flows
My immortal eye,  ever watching
My immortal mind, ever longing

~-~

I have seen many great things
Through many autumns and springs
My faith in man may ever change
My love and hate may ever remain

~-~

Battles won in shadow and light
All by men who pay a heavy price
Rights won and earned by the free
For they are truly men redeemed

~-~

All these things, I have always seen
My immortal eye, watching every scene
Through all time, I long for one thing
My immortal mind, an end to this eternity

~-~

I have felt love come and go
As beauty remains and fades in the old
When the reaper comes for their lives
I wonder when will finally be my time

~-~

Long since have I sated my curiosity
Now, many would regard me an atrocity
Though I hold no hate for mankind
I have no wish to die for the crime of life

~-~

As the summer sun brings dawn
And the winter snows draw on
My immortal eye, ever spying
My immortal mind, ever tiring

Author's Note

Something that I cooked up for the 'Mind of the Immortal' contest. Feel free to comment and critique. ;)

Reviews

[Bard Constantine]

I enjoyed this piece, as it looked at the subject of immortality in the light of its downfalls as opposed to its benefits. If one were immortal, would it truly be all that advantageous to watch the world fade, and all those you care for suffer and die? Nicely done, and thanks for your entry...

[Larry Dyson]

history and literature majors?

[Kia]

The eye is the window to the soul, and the soul is immortal. I like how you worded that "My Immortal Eye". You put into poetry lyrics that I contemplate everyday.

[biggerthenu]

this is really good nicely written you really nailed this one thought a immortal eye and to keep having hope for man kind nice write we can change

[Amy Bumpas]

I loved this! The flow nice and slow, had a sensual feel to it. From line
to line it rhymed and blended so well together, forming a story, wanting
more....

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-G..]

I loved this piece, very much. 'My immortal eye, ever spying My immortal mind, ever tiring', amazing.

[deeps]

Wow A very impressive piece here,
I love the rhythm and rhyme.
So nicely done. Loved this

[Ruth]

This is beautiful! We witness so much and always wonder about what other realms could be like...this is one of the most wonderful writes I have read today! Life...a strange thing and never will be understood I think! lol
Hugs xx

[MissWordSmith]

I feel like this sometimes.
Nice work, I like the repetition.

[TheElfPrincess]

A very good poem, full of emotion and flow. Well written.

[SignifiedG]

I don't know why, but I latched onto the Immortal mind. I like how you change it over the course of this piece. I think the final stanza has great effect with the mind "ever tiring." I like this one a lot.