Defining moments

 

Chapter one;
Defining Moments

  A small needle of light penetrated the blinds of the darkened room, and slowly, like some serpent, it slithered its way across the bedroom floor, over dirty laundry and old papers until it reached the edge of a very unkempt bed.  Undeterred, it moved upward, settling at last atop of the mattress and in the eyelid of the room’s only occupant.

  Rolling over and throwing his pillow over his head, Brian Dickerson tried desperately to avoid the beam that threatened to wake him into his less than inviting life, his tossing and turning however, afforded him no solace from the persistent sun. He rolled over once again in a futile atempt to drift back into dream... Kicking his feet and slamming his fists into the matress Brian threw the covers aside and stood up. If hindsight could actually be forethought then maybe he might have just decided to stay in bed. His legs giving out on him, Brian crumpled to the floor, his head bouncing off the steel corner of his bed frame on the way down. 

  “Perfect!” he yelled, rubbing the throbbing bruise beginning to form on his temple.

  “Just f*****g perfect!”

  Seventeen and a senior at Cameron High, Brian was like many other students his age. He liked some aspects of his life and others… he didn’t. Average in appearance, he would have been difficult to pick out of a crowd. Standing five-ten with a slim build, brown hair and hazel eyes, he was no different than a million other people in the world. He liked that he wasn’t horribly ugly or really attractive, as both had their own consequences. He liked being the average guy, never drawing too much attention to himself. If the crowd went left he didn't neccisarily go right, he just went with what suited him at the time. On the surface those who knew him would say he was a happy kid and for the most part he would have to agree with them. Then of course there were the parts about his life he didn't like, school, where he was about to be going off to, held top honors in that catagory to him.  

  If asked, Brian wouldn’t be able to tell you what day it was when he and his mom had moved to the city of Cameron, he couldn’t remember what time of year it was, he probably wouldn't have been able to tell where he had moved from. He had blocked out as much of his early years as he was humanly able to. Sometimes he would wonder if it were by choice him forgetting, or was it just because there was nothing really worth remembering? Of all the things he remembered though, he knew he started here in fifth grade and he would always be able to remember, in vivid detail, his first day at Cameron Elementary.

  His single mother and he had moved a lot in his younger years. They never stayed in one place too long, his mother never invited new friends to visit and he always felt as though he was an outsider in school. Because of their constant moving he never would allow himself to get too used to where he was. Most new homes he didn't even unpack his things, he felt it was useless, after all this was just another pitstop in his young life. 

  His first day at school was on a Wednesday. The streets were quiet as his mother pulled into the parking lot, to his right was what would be his new school, for at least a few months, he felt. Brian was awed at the size of the building, in his albeit short life he couldn't recall ever having gone to one this size. Camerons school house was in actuality three schools in one. It was comprised of three main buildings nestled on the east end of the city. The largest of the three was the High School portion of the school, respectably the Junior High and Elementary buildings were a story shorter. In the front yard a large statue of someone who had most likely died many years before, sat under a huge oak tree. Behind the statue the schools main building itself stood six stories tall and thousands of windows glistened upon the faces of each in the early morning sun. From where he sat Brian could see other students settling into their desks and teachers calling their names. To his left sat a large football and baseball field, a mixture of fresh cut grass and paint filled the air. Students who had P.E. first hour were out on the track that surrounded the field as instructers blew whistles and clicked their stopwatches. He couldn't deny that he was intrigued by his new school somewhat yet still, in an odd way, the school looked like all the others all the others he had ever been to. With a sigh and a shake of his head Brian opened the car door.

 

  “Three months tops, Mom. We’ll be outta here in three months, if that.” He said with a bit more sadness in his voice then intended as he grabbed his backpack from the backseat. Slamming the car door he tried to rush away before his mother could say the words he knew she would say, however, it didn’t deter her from rolling the window down and yelling.

 

  “Just give it a chance!”

 

  He mouthed the words in unison as he walked up the path to the school’s main entrance repeating once again under his breath.

 

  “Three months.”

 

  To his surprise, the first half of the day had gone rather well. He had met with his Principal, teacher, and some other faculty members that were all too eager to meet a new student. After talking to him a bit asking all manner of questions he found creepy in a way, he had never had teachers so interested in him, he was introduced to a fellow student Vivian Reynolds. Vivian was an honor student, honest, lively, trusted and in the same grade as Brian. The two would have all the same classes so she was to show him around the school and offer him assistance in the next few weeks if he had any questions or just needed help. She was cute with her long brown hair and her oddly colored bow, if Brian hadn’t still been in that frame of mind where girls were ‘ucky’ he probably would have told her just how pretty he thought she was, not that his open jaw didn't give it away. Vivian took him all over the school grounds, showed him the easiest ways to get from one class to the next. She shared stories, some informative and some just to laugh at, she told him little tidbits of information about the schools history. She told him about the teachers he would deal with on a daily basis, who was nice, mean, cool to talk to if you had a problem, Brian just plodded along hanging on her every word. Brian was again awestruck by the sheer size of the school, the place was huge and his outside view hadn't done the building justice. He was glad when finaly the bell rang and Vivian turned to face him.

 

  "Well, that bell means lunch time, good timing too because that is the lunch hall right there." She said as she pointed.

 

  Brian could already hear the students entering the hall, he could smell the food and his stomach growled, he didn't realize till now that they had been walking the halls for over three hours now. He was hungry and his legs hurt a little. Vivian smiled her radiant smile and gave a little giggle.

 

  "Good thing hunh? Sounds like your hungry." She said, eyeing his stomach and smiling.

 

  Brian couldn't help it, his cheeks flushed alittle as he stumbled for what to say. He never got the chance to speak though. With her warm smile and a warning as to what foods to stay away from, she leaned in close and whispered,

 

  "Don't eat the spinach, every day they cut the grass, spinach is served." Steping back she smiled again and shaking his hand she spoke, "It was nice meeting you Brian, If you ever need anything just ask." With that she turned and dissapeared into the growing crowd of the student body.  

 

  Brian was happy with his new school so far; he could see himself being here for three months. Heck, he thought to himself, I think I could handle being here for even longer than that. Sadly, as well as the first half of the day had gone, his experience in the lunch hall would be a precursor to his life in the town of Cameron.

 

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  The lunchroom was deafening. The din of thousands of students running around, talking over the next person, throwing food and paper and the teacher yelling over all of them to sit down and eat stopped Brian in his tracks. Staring at the number of students filling the large room, he felt an uncomfortable lump in the back of his throat, he was nervous and his hands shook slightly, If he hadn't been given a tour of the school he would have found it hard to believe that so many people could fit in one place. He had grown accustomed to the feeling in his lifetime yet for some reason Brian truly felt out of place here. He didn’t know anyone and as that realization began to hit him full force, fear began to grip him. What would he do? He wondered.

  The bell had only just rung and already seats were filling up, no one would want to sit with the 'New Kid.' With timid little steps Brian moved forward slowly making his way into line. The lunch ladies with their dour faces and dirty aprons piled slop of various textures and colors onto plates. As far as Brian could see, his only real choice for something he considered edible was either red beans and rice or pizza. The line moved quickly and realizing that red sauces never sat right with him, he jumped into line with the students headed for the red beans. If only Brian had known the consequences of his choice at the time, Brian would have chosen differently.

  The line moved quickly, tray of beans in hand, Brian looked for a seat, again his fear gripped him. He didn’t know anybody. He had no friends and it would be hard to just walk up to someone and ask if he could sit by them. "Maybe," he thought, that girl Vivian would let him sit with her.  She seemed nice enough. They seemed to get along, and she did tell him that if he needed anything to ask her. Standing on his tiptoes, Brian peered over the throngs of students in the cafeteria, Squinting he tried to get a glimpse of her. It was hard for him to remember anything that made her stand out in the crowd, maybe if he could have remembered anything at all about her he might have had an easier time spotting the girl. After a few moments and having almost given up he all of a sudden remembered the bow she was wearing. It was an oddly colored blue. Surely it was not that common. He gave it one more chance and was rewarded.

  There in the back of the large room Vivian sat alone at a small table. Her chin resting in her small hand she stared out the window not eating. He hoped she didn’t like to eat alone, that she would enjoy his company just as much as he had enjoyed hers earlier. Keeping his eyes on her he made his way through the bustling room. He never noticed the foot pop into the aisle ahead of him. He began to fall forward and he couldn’t help but notice the fist that landed like an explosion into his midsection.  The world slowed and went quiet. He felt himself falling but was powerless to stop it.  He fell to the shiny linoleum floor, slamming his head hard to the ground. For a moment the world went bright white. His heart pounded in his ears, he could taste blood in his mouth, rolling over and clearing the beans from his eyes, he slowly stood on unsteady feet. It seemed every student was laughing, his lungs burned, his face covered in blood from his nose having slammed into the floor and he felt tears welling up in him. From behind, hands grabbed each of his hips; jumping at the sudden touch, startled, he tried to turn towards his attacker. His effort came too late as the hands at his waist pulled his jeans downward.

 The room erupted in laughter even louder than before. Looking at his peers he was lost as to what to do. Going on pure instinct alone he pulled up his pants and ran from the lunch room. Down the hall and around the corner he pushed open the bathroom door, there he slumped against the wall, cupped his face in his hands and cried. He didn’t remember how long he had sat there before a teacher found him, it felt like he had been there for hours and when asked about what had happened Brian could only cry more. Calling Brian's mother the principal decided it best to send him home for the rest of the day. Though she asked over and over,It was hours before he was able to tell his mother what had happened to him, he was embarrassed by it and as far as he cared, just wanted the day to end.

 

  “Don’t worry about it,” his mother said.

  “No one will remember it tomorrow.” He hoped she was right. That night he prayed for it to be true, sadly his life here just progressively got worse.

 

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  “Seven years in this s**t hole!”  Brian exclaimed as he pulled up his Jinco’s and snapped the chain belt closed around his waist. Sniffing at his underarms he grabbed a semi-clean shirt and pulled it on.

 

  “Only a little while longer.” He thought to himself. That statement had become a mantra of sorts to him since midterms. Breathing a deep sigh, grabbed his backpack and opened his bedroom door in one fluid motion which almost caused him to bowl his mother over in the process.

 

  “Oh, Jesus Christ! You startled the hell outta me Mom, What are you doing standing in front my door like that?” Brians yelling did nothing to change her blank expression, she neither did or said a thing, With a sigh he tried to nudge past her. She shifted blocking his path.

  Janice Dickerson was a beautiful woman in her mid thirties. She had long pitch-black hair that reached the small of her back and a body that most men in the city lusted after. Long legs, a small waist and still perky breasts made her a topic of much conversation amongst the wives and/or girlfriends of said men as well. Brian just thought of her as his mom, after all, most people didn’t know that this beauty of hers wasn’t natural. She had more hoses shoved in her than a hookah to get her looking this way.  She was a Cosmo woman; more interested in what everyone else thought of her then how she herself felt. Mother and son had never really seen eye to eye on their opinion of the world around them, honestly they really never spoke much about their views but Brian was used to it, it had always been that way between them. He had stopped wondering why she got like this sometimes long ago, he just figured it had something to do with his father, whom he never knew. Maybe he just looked too much like him and it caused her pain, in the end he knew she loved him, albeit in her own strange way, he just didn’t have the time to deal with it right now.

 

  “Mom, move please, I have to go!” Again he tried to nudge past her.  

 

  “Have a nice day at school.” She said as she moved from in front him.

 

  Most would have considered her actions weird but he knew how she acted when no one was around to see, the Valium hadn’t worn off yet and she was just slow right now. Inching by her he made his way through the kitchen so he could grab the trash on his way out. Opening the door, he paused for a moment, he was walking into a new day. Even with all the problems in his life, he looked to it with a smile after all it was only a month till graduation and then he would finally be free. Today would be the first step in that new life.

 (stopped here)

  “Good” Brian could see the bright yellow bus making its way up the street behind him. 

 

  “Just in time.”

 

  Brian never rode the bus. He found out long ago that for someone who isn’t liked much by the general populous, public transportation was not a good method of travel. He preferred to walk and if he made it out of his house before the bus passed by he could make it to school in time by taking a path he had found through the woods about five years ago, a path that, either most didn’t seem to know of, or didn’t care to use. He used it every day, it kept him safe from all the Terry, Dominic, and Davids’ that haunted his daily life. He always wondered why he was picked on so much. He had never done anything to deserve it, he never flaunted his intellect, he never caused problems, it just happened. He had tried to end his tortures before by standing up for himself but it never helped it only made the beatings he took more severe. He was branded a target. He just went through his life one day at a time and buried all the negative thoughts he had deep inside him. He just wanted to graduate and move away.

  He could see the school now and, of course as it always was, the yard was full of students waiting for the bell to ring. He sat down on the dirt-covered ground and stared into the distance. He had to admit to himself that sometimes he wished his life here had played out differently. He wished, even if only a small part of him that he had made more friends then he had. Why did everyone have to treat him as they did? Upon thinking the thought a vision of Terry came to mind, how he pulled down his pants that first day and how each day since he had found some way to bully him. He could see how everyone always laughed at him during and after his dealings with such bullies. He smiled and thanked the heavens that they hadn’t become his friends they were cruel, callous, Brian knew he was better off not having them like him. Stirring him from his musings the school bell rang and all the students in the yard gathered their belongings and filed into the main entrance. Brian stood, wiped the dirt from his jeans and joined the throng of students.

First hour dragged as it always did. The teacher, Mrs. Stubin, was one of those old ladies who stunk of cigarettes and nursing homes. Well into her sixties and much too big to be simply called overweight one could no longer tell where her chin ended and her neck began. Her hair had long since turned gray and she wore it in that nineteen fifties beehive style that should have died out before it ever began. Worst of all she was nice. Not a good kind of ‘let me help you with that’ nice. She was that next-door neighbor nice. That annoying neighbor who always borrowed your tools for far to long but always apologized after you hunted them down to get it back. That annoying kind of nice that made your blood boil but you can’t do anything about it because they always apologize.

  The only thing that really kept Brian from falling asleep in the old woman’s class was the girl who sat in front of him, Vivian Reynolds. Little Vivian Reynolds who so long ago showed the only kindness he ever received in this City. The girl who showed him around school on his first day, the girl, who now, barely recognized him on any given day.  He realized some time ago that he really did like her. Back then it was just that kind of happy puppy love, now however, it was much more, well, for him it was. He stared at her sitting there chewing on the eraser of her pencil. She was breathtaking. Tall and slender, when she turned her head, the sunlight through the classroom window glinted off her midnight blue hair with its auburn highlights. It gently caressed her neck as she stared at Mrs. Stubin in the front of the class. Most girls looked at her as competition, they all noticed when their boyfriends looked her way as they passed. For this they called her names behind her back and spread rumors about her being a s**t. Vivian, well Vy as she liked to be called, couldn’t care less what they said about her or thought. Brian envied that quality about her. Granted the circumstances between them were vastly different but still she handled it with such finesse. She was so free. She never let all the bullshit get to her she was so strong. She didn’t conform to what others believed she should be or how she should look. She was to wear her black baggy jeans, button up men’s shirts and her wife beater under shirts. She was happy being herself and he loved her for it.

The bell for the end of the period rung and the class erupted in movement. Desks and chairs sliding around as students made a mad dash for the door made a deafening sound. Brian sat and waited as he always did for the crowd to clear before standing. She too always waited. Every now and again she would look back at him and smile, he couldn’t help but wonder if she thought maybe he stayed because she did? A few moments passed, the class emptied and he and Vy stood and went their separate ways to their next class. For him, Science was a lot more fun than American history. The teacher of that class, Mr. Robbins, was a teacher who genuinely liked to teach and wasn’t in it for just the money. He actually made learning fun. Reaching into his pocket he pulled out a crumpled dollar bill and headed for the snack machine. He had a few minutes to spare before next period and his stomach had been growling for the last half hour now. Bending to slide the dollar into the machine his stomach let out a load groan and began to bubble.

 

  “Oh s**t.” Brian said under his breath.

 

  He hated to use public bathrooms. He always feared that he would contract some kind of STD if he used one. At the present moment though, he had no choice. Quickly he made his way down the hall and went into the restroom. The first stall door he opened revealed a scene that reminded him of a failed experiment from the island of Dr. Moreau. Shutting the door while almost retching he moved to the next stall. Thankfully this one was in much better ware.

  Wiping down the seat and placing toilet paper between it and his bare bottom he closed the door, pulled down his pants and sat with a look of disgust clear on his face. He couldn’t help but feel for a small moment, violated. The thought of all the students whose aim was poor and “marked” this particular seat ran rampant in his mind. He began to tap his feet steadily in hopes that it would speed his progress. When at last he was done he hurried to pull up his pants and make his way to the sink where he could wash his hands, he wanted to feel clean again. The bell signaling second period rung and startled him as he turned the faucet on and as though it were meant to happen, doused the entire front of his jeans.

 

  “F**k!” he screamed as he shut off the faucet.

 

  “F**k, F**k, F**k! This is just f****n great!”

Pulling paper towel after paper towel from the wall-mounted dispenser he tried for all his might to dry himself, for the most part, to no avail.  

 

  “What? What did I do to deserve this s**t?” He asked to no one in particular as he looked at the front of his pants. The second bell rang.

 

  “Great now I’m tardy! Perfect!” He shouted as he disposed of the soaked towels in his hand. With one last look at his crotch he shook his head and walked out into the hall.

 

  He swore one could have heard a pin drop in the hall It was so quiet. With quick strides he made his way down the hall towards Mr. Robbins’s class. Surely his favorite teacher would understand him being late once he explained what had happened. With thoughts of how he would explain his tardiness going over and over in his mind Brian turned the corner of the schools east wing. Almost mowing over another student.

“Oh, sorry man I did…” Brian began to say as he stopped in the hall. Looking up into the face of the other student, he recognized who it was he had the misfortune or coming across.

  Terry Cartwright smiled a large, welcoming grin that Brian could have easily associated with a lion that played with its meal just before it ate the helpless critter. For the briefest of moments he wondered whom it was he had pissed off in a former life to deserve this.

 

  "I--I'm sorry Terry. I didn't see you there. I--" Brain began as he stopped mid step. "I just need to get to class.

 

  With that maniacal grin threatening to split his face in two. Terry replied smoothly.

 

  “Aww. Is ‘Little’ Dickerson late for class? No way! Not ‘Little’ Dickerson. Aren’t you supposed to be some closet nerd or somethin? Nerds are never late to class.” He said as he poked his finger roughly into Brian’s chest.

 

  “Please Terry, I don’t want any trouble. I just want to get to class.” He tried to move around the bully blocking his path.

 

  “Trouble. Trouble!” Terry exclaimed.

 

  “Trouble was what you had when you first came here ‘Little man’.” With his right hand Terry grabbed Brian by the shirt collar and with much force drove him into the locker. Brian’s head hit hard, a burst of light went off in his mind and he felt that dizzying feeling he had grown accustomed to over the years from such run-ins.

 

  “No boy, you ain't got trouble. You got yourself into a world of hurt!” The words rolled menacingly off the bully’s tongue. Brian was used to this.

 

  From somewhere, at least a state away it seemed came a fist through the air in almost movie like slowness. It landed squarely on Brian’s jaw, sending him reeling to the floor. The iron like taste of his own blood filled his mouth, feel already his jaw began to swell. Where was a teacher, faculty member, anybody for that matter who might help him? He wondered as his body slumped to the floor. He was scared. Terry had him all alone and this time was the worst of all. Brian couldn’t help but wonder for a moment, ‘what would come next?’    

  Still dazed from the blow, Brian could not fight the strong grip that pulled him up from the floor, standing him up against the wall of lockers. Brian’s fists clenched as he took another blow, this one to the abdomen. His body bent forward looking down to the floor below he began to tremble inside as yet another blow landed. His fists clenched tighter. Another blow fell on him, then another forcing him back to a standing position.  Looking up into the eyes of his attacker another blow wracked his body. His fist clenched tightly, blood beginning to flow freely from where his fingernails gouged his skin Brian smiled. Something in him had given way to something else.

  A fist came from below and took Terry off guard. He flailed backwards a few steps and finally caught his balance but before he could fully recover, he was struck again. The punch made his knees go weak. The floor welcomed him with its unforgiving caress. Before he could do anything Brian was on top of him with lightning speed. A knee crashed into his ribs, blood exploded from Terry’s mouth. A fist landed squarely across his jaw him. A thumb gouged him in the eye; another punch shattered the bone in his nose. He tried to push the smaller boy off of him but he was too weak. A hand reached out and grabbed him by the hair and with violent force, drove his head to the green floor. Vision blurred by the blow and in more pain then he had ever known Terry Cartwright felt something he had never felt in his life up till this moment. For the first time in all his years preying on those weaker than himself he was finally the one afraid.

Author's Note

I am in the process of retooling this. I have labled where I left off. Please let me know how is flows and if I give vivd enough detail. Any suggestions are appreciated. I am debating as to whether or not I want to split this into 2 chpts or not. There is an asterix line where I would split it. Please tell me what you think.