Immortal Fantasist

I started with the idea to write a song like "The Eye of the Tiger". I think it turned more into a poem than a song. I failed, but I think this failure might be found beautiful as well.

Early in my days

little me was longing for stars

but lost souls were eager to anchor my rise

I scraped the bottom, blackened my soul

the Holy Light shun me in stormy night

my chains shattered; raised to surface in salvation

bound to iron-will to embrace my own damnation

In my fall, tenacity got in the wind

rich stories of golden trooper failed to endure

left only with my past of raging bull

still enough for my lust to kindle and burn

Ignited and ready, through my hell I`ll pull

Grey`s the world I walk in

starts to color only in red from my frenzy

Under craze, driven by rage

retreat can`t resolve warrior`s troubled heart

history`s waiting for my page

I hunger for legacy that`ll be retold to death by a sage

Faith raised me in the past

sharp as a razor in my childhood days

but glory messed with my warrior stance

the seduction of fame got me into a trance

I was flooded with premonitions

It wasn`t long when I lost my track

took my zealous swing only to have a miss

destined to be an immortal fantasist

Reviews

[CaffeinatedMe]

Very enjoyable, the fantasy like theme really helped deliver your struggle to ascend through out the poem. As you said in your opening stanza you long for the stars or stardom of your most precious talent. Don't let any lost souls anchor you down with misguided reviews, enjoy your rise im sure we will.

[Satoshi IroTzu]

I appreciate your honesty, support and faith in me, CaffeinatedMe.

I wish to enrich spirits with my writing, motivate people to express themselves fully to their potential.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Respect

[Bear]

A poem is a song without music, this is lyrical but I can only imagine the complications of creating a tempo and beat as well as picking a musical genre. The strong religious metaphysical descriptions reach out and grab's me but it is the emotional plea between the lines that pulls me in. If you ever do manage to meld your words and music please let me know where I can pick up a copy because I would love to hear and feel the power they would express. Bravo! Five out of five Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Satoshi IroTzu]

Papa-Bear...

Your honesty, motivation and support means the world to me. This only shows how "weak" I am, but your faith in me helps me to reach the "breaking point" of becoming strong (:

I live to aid humanity by enriching their spirits with hope to offer individuals another look on things which is in accordance with life itself. Therefore, my career plan is becoming one of the best writers the world had ever seen. As I said... Your comments, amongst other individuals who set their time aside to aid in my development, fuel my drive to reach my career goal.

Much appreciated, as always.