Kid Creed

Under a sunset a house was built. A typical old farmhouse with a typical old wooden porch. A boy, yellow of hair with purple eyes, had his little fingers hugging a door knob. It was a heavy old door, and he lacked the strength of a man. A right hand of his was busy holding a photo, but he needed that hand. So, he put a photo on the table next to the door. His hands united, and doors creaked open.

 But the wind blew the photo.

He began to chase  after the photo that took a grace of a leaf on the wind.

Deeper in a forest the boy went, but the boy had to pause his chase.  A grey big trunk was his first obstacle. In fact, it was elephant`s rear.

"Go" shouted the boy. He was not hiding his impatience. 

The Elephant turned his big broad grey head. It was a dull look , uninterested in meeting someone new at this point. His voice was flat.

"Where?" said the Elephant.

"Away." said the boy.

"No" said the Elephant, he buried his proboscis in the bushes. He was stabbing, and jabbing, and shanking all of the bushes he could reach.  The boy grew in frustration. He bravely rushed to the elephant`s leg, and took as strong bite as his teeth allowed. The Elephant stopped his stabby-search to laugh.

"It will take a pack of you before I feel annoyed, let alone feel a pinch" . He speared his look to the sky like he had an idea of all ideas. 

"But one earthquake will do." He sounded worried. It took him  seconds to put it all back in perspective. "No, earthquake sleeps at this time of year. And I lost some weight, I would move faster like I did when I was a baby-tusk. Oh, my sweet memories." 

The boy persistently pushed against the elephant, desperate to move him out of the way.  The Elephant went back to his bushing.

Night fell. The boy had his back resting against the tree. The elephant was still stabbing bushes mercilessly. The boy began to wonder.

"Why you beat them bushes?" said the boy.

"Banana. " said the elephant.

"Let me help" said the boy. He bolted up to his feet, and jumped in bushes. He dropped to his knees, and his search was on its way. A few worms and ants crossed his fingers and wrist, but he had the pleasure of discovery. Banana was deep  in bushes, stuck in the heart of branches. The boy nonchalantly slipped it from its trap, and gave it to the elephant who was so thankful he moved out of the boy`s way.

"Helping others we help ourselves." said the elephant before he marched away, his lips smacking on the banana in a profound satisfaction.

The night was accompanied by cold. Green eyes behind a vicious roar looked at him from depths of shadows. The lion arrowed at the boy. A fear forced the boy to hug the tree trunk,  and began his escape from lion`s reach. The lion`s roar was full of malice , his claws eviscerated the tree. The lion circled around the tree, parading like a champion. It was a won battle. The boy kept his balance on a tree arm, panting. 

"Come on , down. I want to whisper you a secret." said the lion. " I do not chew, I swallow little nibblets like you." The lion`s laugh was grim and prideful. It became a waiting game. 

The king of the jungle had to rearrange his priorities for he was thirsty. It began to rain, but the lion was fine with a few drops. Before he sipped on a river, he enjoyed his reflection in the not so peaceful river. Every animal in the jungle was envious but admiring  his pompous mane. Thirst made him take a drink, but the river began to savage under the will of storm. The water splashed against the rock and it soaked the lion. He jumped aside scared and began to violently twitch his body to rid off the water. The Kid Creed saw his weakness. The kitty hates getting wet. The boy jumped down, ran toward the rock that was in the middle of the river. He hopped on it then to the other side. The lion was on his heels , but he stationed the rock. He vigorously  turned around under a panic. Kid Creed was the one with a victorious grin on his face. He was about to walk away gloating but he turned. He saw lion`s fear, the same fear he embodied before. Compassion took over Kid Creed.

"Jump back." said Kid Creed.

"How? When?" said the lion.

The river raged. Kid Creed had his eye set on a moment when water will slightly calm its rage and give the lion a fighting chance. When it did , he shouted to the lion to take the jump. The lion made it. 

"In forgiveness we can find a friend." said the lion. He proudly turned around, like nothing happened, and had his pompous return into shadows.

Kid Creed stomped the jungle ground for a while. Sun answered the call of duty as it began to raise and bring a day along. Surprisingly, the photo was in front of the boy. He had a wide smile. He quickly ran toward it, but he was slow. A gazelle had it in its mouth. And it had a wicked look, full of a challenge.

"Yours?" said gazelle, acting oblivious.

"Give". said the boy. 

"Manners." said gazelle. Uptight was her voice and posture.

"Could I have my picture back lady, please?". said the boy. 

"My, my. He can be polite when he wants . No." said gazelle.

The boy steamed with fury. He rushed at gazelle, but she hopped away, leaving him behind with a broken spirit because the boy understood how easily gazelle outran him. 

"If you outrun me, you can have your photo." said gazelle. 

Race number one. The first one to three wins. 

The boy darted lighting fast. He covered a distance, began to smile because gazelle was behind him. So close to the finish just inches away. But gazelle came in first. The boy pummeled the air furiously. 

"Now, now. Anger results in more anger." said gazelle. 

Race number two. The first one to the plant wins. This seemed easier because the plant was half the distance than was the tree. So the boy sparrowed to his victory. His speed won the ground, but gazelle waited for him there. 

"Let`s go again". said gazelle. She had so much fun. The boy was gasping for air. He stared at the starting line. It was nothing more then a line in dirt . 

"I will win you now." said the boy. 

Gazelle held back from bursting in laughter. 

"You will win when, and if, I let you win. Right now, I am having fun." said gazelle.

" Whoever passes the starting line first wins. " said the boy.

Gazelle`s eyes were open wide. She thought of the challenge as disrespectful and insulting. 

"A tree, plant, and over the line?" said gazelle.

"First over the line is the winner. " said the boy. 

Gazelle agreed. She undertook some stretching, made displeasing noises at the boy. She murmured under her chin. The boy had his hands in his pockets. He was just being cool. The race began. The gazelle rocketed ahead . Her run was graceful yet determined and so fast. The boy lazily hopped behind then back over the line. The gazelle`s run ended in a confusion.

"I said first over the line is the winner. I did not say how. " said the boy.

The gazelle was to burst with all the anger caused by the boy`s clever trickery. Instead, lady gazelle laughed herself in a ground. Her hooves were bashing all around, dust was lifted all over.

"When you are against the odds, create better odds." said the gazelle. She gave the boy his photo, and she took a deep bow. Her graceful hopping lead her deeper in woods.

This time  the boy had a tight grip on his photo. It was the photo of him, his wife and his children from the future. 

"The only time we lose is when we give up on ourselves. " said Kid Creed.

.

Reviews

[HeyJadeXO]

I agree with bear's critique some of the grammar is distracting but, overall a story I would continue reading . Great job !

[Bear]

Critique: (A typical old farm house) farmhouse
(and he lacked strength) lacked the strength
(he put a photo on table) on the table
(and doors creek open)creaked open
(But wind blew off) But the wind blew
(uninterested in meeting some one new) meeting someone new
(he burried his proboscis) he buried his
(and shanking all of bushes he) shaking all of the bushes
(He bravely rushed to elephant`s leg) rushed to the elephant's leg
(He speared his look to sky) look to the sky
(stuck in heart) stuck in the heart
(lips smacking on banana) on the banana
(Night was accompanied) The night was
(A green eyes behind a vicious roar) Green eyes
(and begin his escape) and began his escape
(I swallow little nibblets like you) nibblets??
(he enjoyed his reflection in not so peaceful river) in the not so
(Thirst made him to take a drink) made him take a drink
(but river began to) but the river
(savage under will of storm) under the will of a storm
(He jumped aside scared, began to violently twitch) scared and began
(but he nested the rock) nested??
(He vigorously turn around) vigorously turned around
(Sun answered call of duty) answered the call
(He covered distance) a/the distance??
(But gazelle comes first) comes in first
(This seemed more easier because the plan) seemed easier because
(He stared the starting line) He stared at the starting line
(It was nothing more then a line) more than a line
("I will win you now.") I will beat you??
(Right now, I have fun) I am having fun
("Who ever passes the starting line) Whoever
("First over the line is winner.) is the winner
(Her run was gracious) gracious meaning merciful or compassionate or did you mean graceful??
(Her gracious hopping lead her deeper in woods.) gracious?? hopping led her deeper

Review: What a fun story, I loved it and the way he outwitted the gazelle at the end was hilarious. A story for all ages, once you edit, I can see this being publish worthy :~)

Don't let the critique list bother you, you're writing in English makes for some simple translation issues but they are easily fixed give this link a look https://app.grammarly.com

[Satoshi IroTzu]

Papa-Bear, your attention and care is appreciated. Your belief in me, and help, has an impact. Just try not to die of age when I make it one day.