Mystic

Green said to white

I of eternal come in many shapes and signs

This one to be born

tapped to me 

a piece of my immense soul

he is to be torn

like I did before, but not much 

just enough to have that touch of gold

I gift one to spark many hearts

one to live in shadows

Reviews

[Nadia B.]

You tied the elements together in this piece so well. I can almost picture a genie from a lamp, coming out, and explaining that the person who becomes connected to him, in a way is torn down by the Genie's three wishes, but his wishes can benefit so many even if he is left to stay in the shadows or take the Genie's place perhaps. The other image it sparks is also that of a creator taking a part of himself and forming someone with so much good that helps others, but carries a burden, and so is known as a mystic. Also if I draw an outline around your text it forms the shape of an ink pot, really enjoyed your poem, keep writing!

[Satoshi IroTzu]

The impression this poem had upon you is just ... mind-blowing. Interesting spot on the text that forms the shape of an ink pot.

I really enjoyed reading your insightful review.
Hopefully I will be lucky to have you reading one of my other poems.

I appreciate your time and honesty .

Enjoy your day, Nadia B.

[Sesame]

Hello Satoshi,

This poem is, well, mystic! Reads like a riddle. One question: did you consciously use ' borned' and 'torned'? In proper English this should be 'born' and 'torn', I think. And I also wonder if you have thought of which sentences to start with a CAPITAL letter? Besides that, I must say I rather like it!

Regards, Sesame

@followsesame
www.themagiccave.com

[Satoshi IroTzu]

Hello Sesame.

I thought that torned and borned is past tense. Obviously I have a lot to learn.
Again, I appreciate your time correcting me. It does mean a lot.

Glad to see that you are also reading my poems .

I hope Sesame that I will see you soon Opening to me with your helpful reviews ;)

[B]

I love this
A very creative piece

and very kind to the ears

[Satoshi IroTzu]

I enjoy to read that I composed a music piece that suited well your keen hearing.