My take on a love poem

You don't know what my emotions are

All I want from you is love

I know that my jorney will be far

It may be from above

 

I was wondering, will you help me?

Because I don't want to go in this alone

I don't know where it will be

Be st my side by the sound of my tone

 

Your the one I want to stay with

Help my through the pain

I don't care if its a myth

Hug and kiss me under the rain

 

I get this strong feeling

When I stare in your eyes which are blue

Do you know what I'm telling?

I'm telling you that I love you

 

Reviews

[Sabrina Louise]

I like it!
There were a few things I saw in the last stanza that could be changed:
"When I stare into you [blue] eyes"
"Do you know what I'm [saying]?"

Other than those I thought the emotion was portrayed pretty good, and you make me feel this internal struggle of trying to get noticed. It's a harsh, lonesome feeling, and you do a good job with it :)

[Sami Khalil]

Very romantic .
I like the lines:
help me through the pain
Hug and kiss me under the rain

[just is]

I enjoyed this write, very nicely written.
Wonderful rhyme scheme and flow.

[Lucien Maier]

I like it. I read it because I hold as a rule the love poem has been done to death. So when I saw "my take" I decided to see what you had, It has a unique flow. Well done.

[koty bell]

for someone whos not good at poetry this really was amazing hmmmm awesome:))

[kidd x]

you wrote a really amazing write. Beautiful write

[Suditi]

This is so beautiful.
Great work.

[Emrick]

Nice.

[Sleeping Maiden]

Awwww so sweet and romantic! I definately love the yearning for the person.
And the emotions here was great. =)
Great work! I enjoyed this.

[dreaming dame]

:) Sweet and beautifully written.

[Eagle Cruagh]

Sad and lovable .
Reaching out.
Exquisite poem.
Very well done .'
----- John