Bloody sword

A suicide note hidden in side a love poem

Before you left me, I was happy as can be, I thought you
Loved me, but now I see, it was never meant to be. I lean
Over one time, as the sword goes deep inside. I move up in
Order, The blood will stain but for your name my blood will
Drain. You feel no guilt but still you see the way I felt. But
You never wanted me to be happy, you were mean and I was

Sad. The sword is now in my heart, for I too you was so very
Worldly, but you said I was tart. I sliced my wrists, and then
On down my arms, to where my pain was empty. Bleeding is the
Right thing to do, this way you too can see how you have been
Damned, you can lie and feel numbness in your hands. Eyes will

Blind, and the heart will stop, lungs will clog and then you will
Rot. As the blood, then flows free into the Earth, you will
Overstand. A gun would be too loud and way too quick. Maybe,
Knives will do the trick. They are slow and sharp, why they
Even would cut in your heart. In the darkness everything in
Night you move your hand to your stand. Pull out the sword

Hidden in your man. You slice it in, mostly slowly, working,
Early into the day. From here on out you know you will pay.
Although you know her love was untrue, she was like a cue,
Robber. Taking false love and giving you hope, onto the night,
Then she would sink your lovely boat, down from this town to town.

Love for you is gone, but now sadly you know you don't belong in an
Ordain truth. Your heart is broken, so be so vest, slide the edge
Softly into your chest. Then, we will not judge on whom was indeed
The best. You bleed but you are still alive, you lift up your sword

Leaving one last try. And just as you are about to swing, and mind
On your head to the floor. You fall toward the door. Sword still in
View, now only from a few. Your veins are dry, now just like in the
Evening sky, you have slowly died, inside. For you have committed

Homicide, and suicide. For the sword has gone past your neck and
Obed her face as well. The blood will leak and drip into the sink
Under the town, water will turn red. You were right. The sword
Rived though your head. Now both of you are dead. Alone the
Lightless night, the sword had taken your life. No one believed
You would take your life, but here, now tonight, you have taken

Life from two, one is the blushing young girl, the other is the
One man no one trusted, but he never lied. He said someday
Very plain, she would rot in Hell, with the devil by her trail.
Everyone, who reads this, I took her by my side.
Signed: James McBride

Author's Note

tell me what you think. It is very crafty and very dark, and I love it :) with all of my heart.

Reviews

[SamBug]

Wow. This poem is definately something different. lol. A little dark for my taste but it was still very creative and good. I could feel the emotions running wild and free in this piece and that's a good thing. You did an amazing job writing this piece. When you get more things, just send them to me and I"ll be sure ot read them and put on my review. :) Enjoy reading your work!

[SM Davis]

crafty. Creative. I, personally, think the rhyming scheme is too heavy on the rhyming. I am not opposed to rhyming poetry, I write much myself, but this was very rhyme heavy. I do, however, think it would make a perfect rap or sound byte.

[Katseye]

Interesting

[Wandering Violet]

I like the way you have set the darkness and hurt within what could almost be a romantic poem. It creates a disturbing effect, nice work!

[Cascara (aka Sprint Goe..]

Lots of emotions pouring out here!

[Sagar Waingankar]

Well this goes somewhere above it!

[Elle M.]

This is very dark yet beautiful at the same time.

[Teri B]

Very different...

[Amila Jay]

Amazingly wow and different, great write:)

[LinBin]

Dark, well crafted, once you start to read it you can't stop until the very end. Well done

[Coyote Poetry]

You create very good story. Allow me to have some good vision with the powerful description.
"Homicide, and suicide. For the sword has gone past your neck and
Obed her face as well. The blood will leak and drip into the sink
Under the town, water will turn red."
The poem got stronger with each line and I like the ending. Thank you for the excellent poem.
Coyote