Love to Die for

One day my dear, you will find I am not here.

You will want me then, you will of then care.

 

Someday dear you will cry as you will call my name.

You will reach for my hand, but feel a dead man.

And sadly you will thin find that I didn't die in shame.

 

Someday the pain will leave me, and in it will I leave,

You for evermore shall see, my love to you was free.

 

Someday he will mistreat you,

and then you will think of me.

All the years we spent apart.

just to kill this, my lonely heart.

 

If you loved me then why did you wait so long to tell me?

For now my love is for ever gone, I aways loved you with glee.

For now I lay in my golden coffin and sleep as they carry me away.

To you I know you loved me just not that way, just now I most utterly pay.

Reviews

[Bear]

Critique: (For now my love is for ever gone) forever

Review: I am reminded that in the book of life, the chapter on relationships is the largest one. From it we learn how others have walked through the minefield of a relationship and survived even if some what mangled. You have just added another page to that chapter and hopefully others will take heed and learn from your experience and insights. Bravo! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Tai-San]

I love this. it made me cry, but i loved it. your a wunderbaar writer, dont let anyone else tell you different, kay?

[Flame DM]

Incredibly well penned. It is heartbreaking and sad, but it is important for poets to pull your heart strings so good job!

-Flame

[ATG]

This is a very sad poem. It made me cry because I know the story behind it. It was well written.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Yes, it is sad, but aren't all poems about death or corpses sad? Still, you tell it well and for poets that's what counts.

Sal

[Senzieser]

Aw, this was very sad to read. I do like the story line though. I enjoyed this writing very much. And I hope you keep it up.


Sinzieser

[distefano 401]

i really liked the idea of this poem. nice picture and title. good job!

[NightDream]

Vivid emotion and image. You succeeded in setting a Atmosphere of dispare, longing, and love lost allowing the reader to connect with the emotion of the piece. Great Work!
A couple little things...
"One day my dear, you will find I am not hear" (shouldn't it be here?)
and
"Someday he will miss treat you" (i believe mistreat is one word)

[alternative_be]

Reading this made me feel so sad... What a waste for both of them!
Sometimes we do meet people at the wrong place and time and we do not realize that maybe we will not be getting a second chance...
That is why I chose 'Carpe Diem' (cease the day) as my motto...
Because of the theme I cannot say I enjoyed reading this, but I can say that you succeeded very well in getting to my emotions. This touched me beyond words!
That is why it took me a few days before reviewing!

[Burr the Story Sorceres..]

This is a really sad,really wonderful poem. Its shoulda coulda woulda didn't. I think it is really great.
A wonderful tragidy.