Making Love

How it should be done.

Making Love

 

Its dark in the house when I walk in

I see the lights in the bedroom have been set to dim

I open the bedroom door and slowly walk in

The scent of vanilla candles fills the small space

You are lying on the bed

Wearing what can only be described as heavenly red black lace

 

What starts as a single kiss

Turns into a blur of lips gasping for air

And hands exploring bodies and grabbing hair

Wine glasses lay smashed on the floor

Kisses become savage

As greedy tongues explore

Both now hungry for more

 

I watch you as you take hold bra clasps with longing and anticipation

As you slowly pull them apart

But I grab your hands and kiss them gently

No my love, the only part of you I’m touching tonight is your heart

 

Bongani Armstrong Mhlangu

Reviews

[Lisa Ring]

Beautiful. But I want to know why. I want to know why you stop yourself. Just a hint, I think, would be effective. Are you concerned with purity of the moment, of the relationship, of your intentions? Or is it negative? Is this a woman you desire but won't allow yourself to have for one reason or another? I do understand the honor of abstaining to focus on the more meaningful aspect of a relationship, is that it? Or do you want us to wonder? :)

[Dark Tower]

You raise very good points. I will revise this poem and edit it accordingly.

[Junert]

Yeah touching hearts. Nice one.

[Dark Tower]

You

[melissa's heart]

Oh my goodness is all I can say. This one is steammy and passionate and makes me think things I ought not, so must go now and tend to my husband and maybe dim the lights. good job B.C.

[Dark Tower]

Hahahaha, well Im glad it inspired emotion within you.

[melissa's heart]

well at least my husband thinks I'm inspired by this and many things. at least he was inpressed. The sweet sent and taste of love

[Cole Hayley]

I like the little twist in the end. The overall piece was well done, rhyming scheme was astray here but it made sense. The only problem at all is just an opinion, I wasn't a fan of the formating, but I inorged it and looked at the poem as a whole. The poem is very well done. Great job

[Dark Tower]

Thanks Cole.

What format would you suggest?

[Cole Hayley]

Ah its just a personal thing, I would have done it something liek this. But yours is good because its the way you did it but I would of done it something like

Its dark in the house when I walk in
I see the lights in the bedroom have been set to dim
I open the bedroom door and slowly walk in.

The scent of vanilla candles fills the small space
You are lying on the bed..

Wearing what can only be described as heavenly red black lace

What starts as a single kiss
Turns into a blur of lips gasping for air
And hands exploring bodies and grabbing hair

Wine glasses lay smashed on the floor
Kisses become savage
As greedy tongues explore

Both now hungry for more...

I watch you as you take hold bra clasps with longing and anticipation
As you slowly pull them apart
But I grab your hands and kiss them gently
No my love...

the only part of you I’m touching tonight is your heart

[Cole Hayley]

But again its only a personal opinion

[Dark Tower]

Your opinion is well received. Thank you.