Shy

I'm very proud of this piece. I wrote it in 2011, but it's one of my ultimate favorites' of mine.

She caught his eye but looked down suddenly. She turned to walk away when he gently tugged on her arm. He smiled sweetly at her. 

"Hello, may I have this dance?" He questioned her gently. She must have nodded because she was in his arms against his strong build. She laid her head against his chest while they slow danced with each other. The dance ended, but the two didn't let go of each other. 

"People are staring.." She whispered, wondering if he could have heard that. He did. 

"It doesn't matter to what they are doing. They are not important. You are." He glanced down at her and gently kissed the top of her head. She suddenly felt self-conscious and wormed herself out of his tight arms. She walked off the dance floor and walked around the corner. 

"Did I offend you?" He asked lightly. She turned around with tears forming in her eyes.

"No, you just scared me, that's all." She murmured almost too quiet. He took her into his arms and hugged her with a comforting style. She held onto him while tears ran down her face. She soaked his gray t-shirt with her tears and looked away from him. She slid down onto the ground by his feet. 

"I'm sorry that you had to see that." She said quietly, while she wiped her tears. He slid down next to her and looked at her with sincerity.

"It's alright. Don't be sorry. It was me, that had went to fast out there on the dance floor." She took his right hand into her hands and marveled at it. She knew he was watching her, she looked up at him. 

"Why are you staring at me?" She asked. 

"You're beautiful. You know that right?" As he said with a tiny smile on his face. She blushed. 

"Thank you." She smiled and then stood up. He stood up as well, he arched an eyebrow up. 

"Want to dance?" She asked after she smoothed out his face. 

"Of course. Anything with you." He kissed the top of her head and followed her out to the dance floor. 

That was the first time I felt alive. With him. Now I don't, now that he's gone. He past away a couple of months ago. He was driving home on a Saturday night, he stopped at a red light and a man came up to his car and shot him in the head. It was a horrible night, the police found him in the morning. They found his id in his wallet, they found out I was his newlywed wife. They came to my house and I cried on an officer's shoulder for hours. I took up piano in the last month. It gives me something to do, instead of crying for him. 

                             

She talks to me every Saturday. She comes to my grave and tells me that she loves me and misses me terribly. And all I can do is listen and watch from above. 

He's up there, I know it. I go to therapy twice a week now. Ever since he was murdered, I'm not the same person as I was before. My counselor says I need to take some time off from my job, but I cannot. I wouldn't be okay alone at home. I would be afraid of not making it through the night. That's why I stay at work most nights, to keep my mind off of him. 

She needs to take time off. I can see it's straining her. She misses me horribly, but that's no reason to hurt herself over it. She needs to find someone else.

December 7th, 2020. Today is our anniversary. We were going to renew our marriage vows this afternoon. I suppose I could go by myself, but then they would ask when he will come in. It's a Saturday though, I'll go to him. Talk to him. 

It's 3:57 pm. She'll be here at 4:05. To talk to me, while I'll listen, never again to answer her. There are no words other than, "I love her." 

"Hi there. I brought you a new bouquet of flowers. They're your favorites, white roses. I hope you like them, I bought them today. I  went to therapy today, they said I should take some time off in my job. I'm not going to though. I'm afraid I wouldn't be okay at home." She said swiftly. She kissed my headstone and then stood up and walked away. 

This isn't good. All she does is works, it's not normal. She needs a break from it all. But until she's with me again, she won't take time off. 

I smashed my piano this morning. My counselor found me outside, sitting on my porch. She has emitted me into a hospital, one that will help me with my loss. I don't want to go, but the nurses are picking me up tonight. 6:00pm sharp. 

Well I made it to this hospital..I don't like it here. The nurses said I can go to the grave courtyard every Saturday, on one condition, I come back. I promised them I would, even though I didn't want to. I will though..for him.

She hates it at the hospital. But I think she knows deep inside that it will be good for her to live there. I hope she will be happy again.

One year later.. I got sick. The doctors are helping me in every way that they can. I have stage 3 in cancer. It gets worse everyday. I feel sicker and sicker every minute. The doctors put me through chemo twice already, it hasn't worked yet, and I fear it never will. 

I got better for a couple of weeks and then it came back. Fiercer than it has ever been. I can hardly keep my eyes open for more than five minutes. The doctors say that I am no longer in stage 3, I've moved up to stage 4. 

She is getting weaker by the second. My newlywed wife is very sick. I am very sad for her, to die this way. 

I've been thinking about it, I don't want to die. I want to keep living my life and then I can see my husband again. But then again, I can't wait to see him. But then I don't, not yet anyways. 

May 18th, 2021. I am living with stage 4 cancer and I want to die now. No more of the medicine, I just want to be with my husband again. 

"Can I go see my husband?" I asked my nurse, my hands were shaking lightly. She looked at me with calm eyes. 

"I'll ask your doctor, if he says yes, I will take you." She told me. I nodded gently. She came back in ten minutes. 

"Your doctor said that would be fine, as long as we don't stay for too long." She said with a smile. I smiled weakly back. 

She came to talk to me today. She was in her wheelchair, too weak to sit on the ground. Her nurse was there with her. 

"I'm back. I wanted to say hello and a good-bye for now. I'll see you soon." She said with all the power she had left. She looked up to her nurse and said she was ready to go back. 

"Alright, let's go." Her nurse said gently, she had tears in her eyes. 

I laid in my bed sleeping. I knew I was going to die today, I could feel it. I felt the weaker today, though maybe I wasn't going to die just yet. My doctor came in. 

"I'm sorry, but I have done everything in my power to help you live, but there is nothing else I can do. You have a couple of hours left. I am truly sorry." He said with pain in his voice. I looked at him with sad eyes. 

I laid there staring up at the ceiling. Today was the day for me to die. I took my last breath that I had, my doctor rushed in with two nurses. I was gone, although they all tried to save me. Nothing was there, I wasn't there. I was traveling to my husband. 

I saw him there. I floated over to him and we shared our second hug. We both knew at that moment that we would never have to leave each other ever again. We were together forever to watch over each other.

She and I walked up the spiral stairs up to heaven. We saw the golden gate and walked in together as a happy newlywed couple. We are in love. 

The End.