Raven,Death, Dyson, Death

Alice had never loved anyone. She was never super close with her parents. The mother who allowed herself to be a punching bag and the father who would later take everything away that she held dear.

The nearest thing to love she experienced in the past was a crush she had on this girl two years ago. She never fancied herself as a lesbian but she was extremely attracted to this Goth goddess.  Raven was her name but it must have been fake. Raven walked the halls of their high school with pale white skin with long flowing black hair with long hot pink streaks in it.

Alice liked her because she didn’t give a f**k about life. Alice had the same feelings so she could relate. She dreamt of kissing her and long walks together about how much life sucked. But things never worked out and she probably dead like most people she knew.

But somehow she knew this was love. She needed him. She thought about him ever since she meant him, though a lot of the first thoughts were if he was going to rape her or not.

And deep down she even loved Eve. She wanted to raise that child. She never had a maternity bone in her bone before this. She never even owned a doll. But now all she wanted to do was make sure this child was safe and lived through this fucked up world.

Alice puts down the journal and goes to hold Eve. She can’t but help to smile at her.

Eve has been restless ever since Derek had left. Deep down Eve must have known he wasn’t here.

Alice brings Eve and the journal to the chair to relax. She flips the next page.

Date April 21^st 2013

We found something. At first we didn’t know what it could do or what is was for. The object was a stunning red gem in the shape of a heart. In was found in old castle like place. We raided the grey brick storage walls and I found it there.

I kept it for my own and didn’t tell anyone but Maddy and now this journal. And knowing I have both near me at all times, the secret is safe.

Date June 2^nd 2013

I can’t this happened. I should have paid more attention. I should have been stronger. Now what do I do that she is dead. The zombies got her. We were on a hunting trip and we got trapped by a wild pack of mindless creatures.

I don’t know how we didn’t know they were going to be there. The scouts said the place was clear. That’s why I told her to come with me. I was supposed to be there alone but I was selfish and needed her with me.

It’s my fault they got her.

 

Date: June 3^rd 2013

People at camp are surprised I’m alive. There shocked faces are stuck on me all day. I walk down the center of the camp holding Maddy’s torn up corpse. The camp is shocked.

I go to my quarters and lay her on our bed. After a few moments with her, I go to Eve and kiss her forehead. I call for Lilly to watch her over while I go be stupid.

I leave the house and go to kill the men who sent me there. I find them in the bar, laughing and celebrating my death. Their faces turn to a ghostly white when they see me. I plunge my knife into their chests and slaughter the three of them.

The last thing the one says, “We did it for Dyson.”

Dyson has lustful eyes for Maddy for all of the time he knew her.  He was always jealous I was with her. And with me out of the way, he would have got her.

Next I go to Dyson’s quarters. But apparently someone tipped him off and he escaped.

My goal in life is now to find and infect as much as I can on him.

 

Alice drops the journal.

She is stunned to find out what happened to Derek. Poor guy.

Reviews

[YouoweYoupay]

This was a good read. Interesting way of using a journal in an oopening chapter. Yes, the 'show' was slightly exceeding the 'tell' here, but the story was told simply and at the same wonderful time it has caught my attention as an easily-distracted reader. P.S, your dictionary space is a bit narrow, you need to try using more various words to convey meaning. If I didn't like your story I wouldn't have bothered to point that out. Thank you for the request. I shall read more soon.

[Shep]

You got to love the word revenge. For it taste as sweet as life its self. Another reason i am writting my series Whats behind the looking glass. Awesome write. Moving on.

[A. V. Madison]

My eyes are glued to the screen of my computer right now.
I love how you make the reader hang on to every single word. It's fascinating, this twisted storyline.
One minute you think something is going to happen, and then it completely changes.
But I will advise you do through what you write before you post it, because there is a lot of grammar mistakes throughout your chapters. And try not to make it so everythings so obvious, beat around the bush a little when you are explaining things to the reader. And don't be stingy when it comes to description, I love nothing more than a very descriptive chaper.

[VannahBanana]

I..must say. I was shocked to hear about Alice's choice in crushes. But. It is coming from you(: This made everything make more sense.

[Archia]

Oh poor Derek, I must say I agree with Alice on that one. I enjoy these letters that turn up and what they reveal about Derek's past. One thing that I've been meaning to say this whole time is that I love the titles of your chatpers, they're so creative.

[Your Perfect Disaster]

Oh wow :O

[Coffee Vampier]

I can see why Alice is in love.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. I like the thoughts of Alice and concern for the baby. The diary open the door to some answers. A excellent chapter.
Coyote

Very cool story. Kept me going the whole way.

[hopelessromantic]

such a good read