Wonderland is Far Away from this Hell Hole

Chapter One: Wonderland is Far Away from This Hell Hole

Alice’s tears crash all over the floor. Making the old wooden brown floorboards a little more wetter then it just already became. Life used to be so simple in a way.  It was never good but at least it was simple. Now Alice was faced with her biggest life decision. But she has to do it. SHE HAS TO DO IT NOW.

Alice violently stabs the now stained cold steel knife into to her highly alcoholic and endless abusive so called father. Her stunning beautiful hazel eyes gazes into his soulless pale blue ones. Just as his warm sticky blood escapes his dirty rotten body on Alice’s purple and green flowered bed sheets. The blood floods over the bed and onto the wooden floor.

He’s not a mindless blood thirsty freak of a zombie like the rest of the world; he is just a huge a*****e. After this year of madness and mayhem, he was probably nearly an inhuman thing just like all of them.

…

Her fucked up father badly beat Alice every day since her mother died and he wouldn’t stop beating her till his drink total knocked him out. The bruises stood out on her pale porcelain skin.

Then the next morning he would forget it happen and crawl into her bed. He would gently try to stroke her soft long flowing sun kissed blonde hair. His erect penis would tap her in her back. He would lay there till it woke her up so he could feel the power he had over her.

Finally one day about three months into this sick cycle, Alice finally figured out if she pretended she was asleep, he may stop. Then he would leave unsatisfied from being ignored. Most of the time this worked.

But some long days, she just had to lie there and grind her teeth at every ungodly moment of her losing her innocence.

Each night she would try to stay strong and not think of the terrible things in her past or her now horrible every day life. Or sometimes the worst to think about was a future that would never come to her if she stayed here.

Wet tears were the common thing in her life.  This last year contained nothing but sorrow and blood. Every day and every night was the same routine ever since the world turned to s**t. Alice always felt she was stuck in a hole that she would never get out of.

Till one day when that penis came a tapping, she came a stabbing. For some reason all of her problems finally made her snap. And oh how she snapped.

…

She plunged the cold steel knife into his brown hairy chest. This time he was shocked that for once something was unwilling entering him. Alice forced the knife deeper and deeper till the blade disappeared in him. She twisted and turned it with all her might. After a few moments of movement and despair motions to get the knife out of himself, he grew silent. She smiled for the first time in about a year as she brushes a rebel blonde lock of hair in her face with her now bloody hand.

...

Last time she smiled was the last day before the scourges of zombies raged and controlled all of the lands. Alice never knew if there was anything else unholy that now walked the lands but zombies were a firsthand sight of now being a harsh reality.

That day, her mother bought her a nice dinner for her birthday and then told her that she was going to leave her father. Her father was abusive back then but not to Alice, only her poor mother.  Alice sat there and thought life was finally going to be great. This was easily the best birthday present ever. She was finally going to be happy and have a mother who could be happy too. The two smiled at each other as the weight seemed nearly lifted off of them.

Suddenly the weight comes crashing back down as a zombie smashed through the restaurant’s window and bit four people including her mother. A off duty cop shot the mindless and now bloody zombie in the forehead and the big greenish decaying b*****d dropped lifeless to the floor. The four people left with their bites with no medical care. That is how it all started.

This was the same case for a lot of people in the world so that is why the virus or whatever spread pretty easily all over the place.

Two hours later, her mother was eating raw hamburger from the fridge then a side meal of Alice’s cat.  Alice walked into the kitchen and saw this happen. She stood there in silence, too shocked to move and leave.

Next course was Alice but once her bloody and soulless mother went in for the attack, her father ran over to save Alice. He clubbed her to death with a metal bat. Her mother’s blood painted the walls with ever hit of the bat; dent the whole bat in many of places, till her body turned lifeless.

Alice thought to herself:

I bet his drunken a*s didn’t even know that she was a zombie.

Reviews

[Brantwijn]

An interesting and very sad beginning. I think your opening sentence is a wonderful hook; the first thing that this story does is makes me want to know something, and I have to read on to find out more.

I caution you to look at the whole idea of the daughter being beaten and sexually abused by her father. This is not a bad plot point in and of itself, but it is resorted to by many authors to produce "instant drama" and many, many times the treatment of it is not done right. The subject that requires a lot of thought and a lot of knowledge about the very real situation of rape in this manner. Ask yourself if you have included it for the right reasons and with the right results. Ultimately, if you're going to do it make sure you do it properly and with thorough respect.

A nice way to set up a zombie apocalypse story, when you introduce the loss of the mother and the development of the epidemic from there. I like the wry irony and cynicism of the last line. A good polish for run-on sentences and typos, just to clean up loose ends, and you've got a terrific story going on here.

[Archia]

I like how you introduced a lot in the first chapter, it answers a lot of questions and sets up the scene. The grammar however does need a bit of work; the tense does tend to change a few times and some sentences just need rewording.
Apart, from that nice plot.

[patricia]

Heavy stuff! You set the scene straightaway. Took me through a whole range of emotions. Good First Chapter. Thanks.

[Popble]

Very captivating, definitely makes me want to read more, and so I shall.

[HaruHau-Chan]

Very nice lay out of the character, as well as how Alice for into the situation she is now in. It could use a little editing, grammar-wise and flow wise, but otherwise it is very intriguing. ^^

[Tellie Allen]

wow. i loved it. i also am not one for zombie themed reads but urs well was actually good. i ready more of the chapters
:)

[PokemonFan#1]

Very great with the describsions.

Keep it up!

[Ice Girl]

Oh wow. that was good. different type of alice.

[Coffee Vampier]

Hmm I personally and not one for Zombie reads but this got my attention. A strong write needless to say.

~Alice~

[Chris Yip]

A potential story that can be improved but is already easy reading and interesting!