Wonderland is Far Away from this Hell Hole

Chapter One: Wonderland is Far Away from This Hell Hole

Alice’s tears crash all over the floor. Making the old wooden brown floorboards a little more wetter then it just already became. Life used to be so simple in a way.  It was never good but at least it was simple. Now Alice was faced with her biggest life decision. But she has to do it. SHE HAS TO DO IT NOW.

Alice violently stabs the now stained cold steel knife into to her highly alcoholic and endless abusive so called father. Her stunning beautiful hazel eyes gazes into his soulless pale blue ones. Just as his warm sticky blood escapes his dirty rotten body on Alice’s purple and green flowered bed sheets. The blood floods over the bed and onto the wooden floor.

He’s not a mindless blood thirsty freak of a zombie like the rest of the world; he is just a huge a*****e. After this year of madness and mayhem, he was probably nearly an inhuman thing just like all of them.

…

Her fucked up father badly beat Alice every day since her mother died and he wouldn’t stop beating her till his drink total knocked him out. The bruises stood out on her pale porcelain skin.

Then the next morning he would forget it happen and crawl into her bed. He would gently try to stroke her soft long flowing sun kissed blonde hair. His erect penis would tap her in her back. He would lay there till it woke her up so he could feel the power he had over her.

Finally one day about three months into this sick cycle, Alice finally figured out if she pretended she was asleep, he may stop. Then he would leave unsatisfied from being ignored. Most of the time this worked.

But some long days, she just had to lie there and grind her teeth at every ungodly moment of her losing her innocence.

Each night she would try to stay strong and not think of the terrible things in her past or her now horrible every day life. Or sometimes the worst to think about was a future that would never come to her if she stayed here.

Wet tears were the common thing in her life.  This last year contained nothing but sorrow and blood. Every day and every night was the same routine ever since the world turned to s**t. Alice always felt she was stuck in a hole that she would never get out of.

Till one day when that penis came a tapping, she came a stabbing. For some reason all of her problems finally made her snap. And oh how she snapped.

…

She plunged the cold steel knife into his brown hairy chest. This time he was shocked that for once something was unwilling entering him. Alice forced the knife deeper and deeper till the blade disappeared in him. She twisted and turned it with all her might. After a few moments of movement and despair motions to get the knife out of himself, he grew silent. She smiled for the first time in about a year as she brushes a rebel blonde lock of hair in her face with her now bloody hand.

...

Last time she smiled was the last day before the scourges of zombies raged and controlled all of the lands. Alice never knew if there was anything else unholy that now walked the lands but zombies were a firsthand sight of now being a harsh reality.

That day, her mother bought her a nice dinner for her birthday and then told her that she was going to leave her father. Her father was abusive back then but not to Alice, only her poor mother.  Alice sat there and thought life was finally going to be great. This was easily the best birthday present ever. She was finally going to be happy and have a mother who could be happy too. The two smiled at each other as the weight seemed nearly lifted off of them.

Suddenly the weight comes crashing back down as a zombie smashed through the restaurant’s window and bit four people including her mother. A off duty cop shot the mindless and now bloody zombie in the forehead and the big greenish decaying b*****d dropped lifeless to the floor. The four people left with their bites with no medical care. That is how it all started.

This was the same case for a lot of people in the world so that is why the virus or whatever spread pretty easily all over the place.

Two hours later, her mother was eating raw hamburger from the fridge then a side meal of Alice’s cat.  Alice walked into the kitchen and saw this happen. She stood there in silence, too shocked to move and leave.

Next course was Alice but once her bloody and soulless mother went in for the attack, her father ran over to save Alice. He clubbed her to death with a metal bat. Her mother’s blood painted the walls with ever hit of the bat; dent the whole bat in many of places, till her body turned lifeless.

Alice thought to herself:

I bet his drunken a*s didn’t even know that she was a zombie.

Reviews

[Brantwijn]

An interesting and very sad beginning. I think your opening sentence is a wonderful hook; the first thing that this story does is makes me want to know something, and I have to read on to find out more.

I caution you to look at the whole idea of the daughter being beaten and sexually abused by her father. This is not a bad plot point in and of itself, but it is resorted to by many authors to produce "instant drama" and many, many times the treatment of it is not done right. The subject that requires a lot of thought and a lot of knowledge about the very real situation of rape in this manner. Ask yourself if you have included it for the right reasons and with the right results. Ultimately, if you're going to do it make sure you do it properly and with thorough respect.

A nice way to set up a zombie apocalypse story, when you introduce the loss of the mother and the development of the epidemic from there. I like the wry irony and cynicism of the last line. A good polish for run-on sentences and typos, just to clean up loose ends, and you've got a terrific story going on here.

[LisaDouglass]

wow. crazy and interesting.

[Kandy Kitt]

I'm looking forward to reading the other chapters. It was a very good beginning, and I bet the other chapters are going to be just as good, most likely even better. You can never go wrong with zombies too. Very excited to keep reading.

[Hiddenfire]

"Alice stabs her abusive father. She grazes at him as his blood escapes his dirty rotten body. He’s not a zombie like the rest of the world, he is just an a*****e."
I give you props for that, that was an awesome opening, was hooked from the moment I read it onward. I have been meaning to getting around to reading this like a bunch of other things on the site, and I'm glad I wasn't disappointed. I almost feel guilty at myself for not having looked at it sooner. One thing is that this has a lot of typos, so I would go back when you get a chance and give it a once over and fix. All in all though I'm looking forward to reading more soon.

[Imagination-mage]

whoa....all i can say is whoa....this was....AWESOME! must read on to know what happens next!

[.quan.011.]

Wow, that was amazing especially the killing and the ending.

[Maroon Surreal]

Bloody but clever work. Very interesting. Would read next chapters. Yay :)

[Sleeping Maiden]

It's very captivating. You hold my attention through out! I love it. And i love how dark it is.. and how you twist it. I'll have to read more! The descriptions are well written. Brilliant job!

[xx]

It's an interesting way to set up a world-of-zombies story, and I like how your creativity spurred you to take it up in such a way, but you might want to go through this chapter to give it a good edit. There are some minor spelling issues as well as punctuation issues, but again, these are easily corrected. Just remember that semicolons join together independent clauses (with no conjunction), and that in most cases, writers should try to get rid of sentence fragments, unless they're in dialogue and whatnot.

Also, there's a tense change after the introduction - you might want to stay in one tense, even in this case. I'm aware that the events right after Alice stabbing her father are essentially flashbacks, but you still might want to stick with the past tense.

I liked how you concluded this chapter, though, and I found myself whole-heartedly agreeing with Alice, unfortunately.

Keep writing! :)

-Mina

[VannahBanana]

This is good. I ... think it's a bit... impersonal?... but I think you have to be somewhat impersonal. I like the sarcasm, maybe add more wit rather than raw humor. It's a very good introduction for something that isn't necessarily understandable by first line. You describe everything you need to. And rather than just adding onto the questions, you answer all.