Alice and the Gravedigger

This has a ton of potential but sadly it sounds more like a glossy overview. There are a lot of things working for you and I would hope that you go into greater detail with it. You will only do your story justice by doing so. I do have some overall suggestions. Decide whether it's in past tense or present tense. You can go from past to present, but it needs to be direct and purposeful. Descriptions, who are these people in your mind? Not just physically, but mentally. Derek looking good is subjective. Even in writing, actions speak louder than words. Also continuous proofreading. It's the little things that can kill interest in a story, ie missing or misused "-ed", contractions, punctuation. I know we're not in English class, but remember your audience.

Posted 12 Years Ago

Very interesting chapters Reaper. However, may I ask you one thing must you use the Lord's name in Vain. It may offend people. You are indeed dark, errie, and depressing. Lucie

Posted 12 Years Ago

this sounds like its gonna be interesting but good =)

Posted 12 Years Ago

This has a ton of potential but sadly it sounds more like a glossy overview. There are a lot of things working for you and I would hope that you go into greater detail with it. You will only do your story justice by doing so. I do have some overall suggestions. Decide whether it's in past tense or present tense. You can go from past to present, but it needs to be direct and purposeful. Descriptions, who are these people in your mind? Not just physically, but mentally. Derek looking good is subjective. Even in writing, actions speak louder than words. Also continuous proofreading. It's the little things that can kill interest in a story, ie missing or misused "-ed", contractions, punctuation. I know we're not in English class, but remember your audience.

Posted 12 Years Ago

nice reaper!!!!
...wonderful thoughts..
...I like the way you do it.

Posted 12 Years Ago