Alice and the Gravedigger

This has a ton of potential but sadly it sounds more like a glossy overview. There are a lot of things working for you and I would hope that you go into greater detail with it. You will only do your story justice by doing so. I do have some overall suggestions. Decide whether it's in past tense or present tense. You can go from past to present, but it needs to be direct and purposeful. Descriptions, who are these people in your mind? Not just physically, but mentally. Derek looking good is subjective. Even in writing, actions speak louder than words. Also continuous proofreading. It's the little things that can kill interest in a story, ie missing or misused "-ed", contractions, punctuation. I know we're not in English class, but remember your audience.

Posted 12 Years Ago

I still love this book endlessly.. .wish you would rework the second one ^_^ I like the second one too lol

Posted 11 Years Ago

Love all those chapters, prying they are nice and long just the way I like them.

Posted 12 Years Ago

Hm, Zombies, oi? Well, thank you for posting this into my, S. D. Blankenship Contest, Reaper. I will look forward to reading/reviewing you chapters. I like the fact you had this so down-pact. The chapters seem to grip me and pull me in without much struggle.

I hope you don't mind if I edit or rewrite some of the story line and send it back to you. ;) It's just my nature.

~S. D. Blankenship

Posted 12 Years Ago

This is a dark fantasy story I would recommend reading. It is fast paced with lots of twist and turn that you never expect with a great ending. It shadows a fairytale that the Grimm Brothers would be proud of reading.
I would love to read the finish product.

Posted 12 Years Ago

This was actually very good I enjoyed reading it. I was hooked through the whole thing. Your writing style is good but it is a little sketchy/choppy/not drawn out entirely, but it works for this particular piece. I noticed that you switch between past and present tense as well. I love the concept just elaborate and work on the over all structure and technical points of your writing. You have talent indeed, I like the whole depressing out look of it all I have always admired dark writing.

Posted 12 Years Ago

This will take some time to review, be patient

Posted 12 Years Ago

When I get home, I am going to climb into bed and read the whole damn thing, all at once, Im so looking forward to this, I really am hooked.

Posted 12 Years Ago

i just read your chapter Raven,Death, Dyson, Death and I am very very intrigued. Your style seems to be choppy but honestly, it works! It really does, since it's going back and forth between the present and the diary entries. My interest was peaked at the concept of her lack of love, her brief and unsure encounters of homosexuality, and a child that's involved. Very elaborate, and its on my reading list :)

Posted 12 Years Ago

Not my favorite genre of books, but it was good and interesting.

Posted 12 Years Ago