Sweet Release

I love writing poems and decided to publish one to see if its good. But, beware: My poems are dark and demented. if it sucks feel free to tell me: This stinks worse than my bathroom after diarrhea!

Sweet Release

I watch as your skin bleeds crimson regret,

as I looked down to you, I knew I'd never forget

all of the hate, deceit, and lies,

how I watched in despair as the light left your eyes

your tormented face still haunts me in my once happy dreams,

constantly reminding me that nothing's ever what it seems

your presence still lingers in my darkened, shattered soul,

longing for something, anything to make it whole,

the pain of your death weighs down on my tortured heart,

reminding me of how I was torn apart,

but I'm happy you're now in a better place,

even though there's so much I can never erase,

at least now you're free from this world of cruelty, sorrow and pain

at least now your death will not have been in vain

now your soul can rest in peace, 

this will be your sweet release

Author's Note

So is it good or bad? I need to know weather I should continue or not.

Reviews

[Antoñyo]

Such darkness and power coming from "that photo" of you?
The poem is excellent and well-written...the fact that I was surprised it came from your appearance is a definite good thing, meaning you go beyond your own personal borders. The absolute best thing for writers (who seriously want to improve) to do!
Thanks and I'll be back to read more of yours.

[Sahara M.]

Thank you. And that photo isn't that accurate. I was forced into wearing make up and a dress, and in reality my hair is a frizzy, curly mess. Usually i wouldnt be caught dead wearing make up or a dress. If you knew me you wouldn't be surprised about the darkness from this poem. But, still that comment was awesome and totally made my day :)

[Sahara M.]

Oh and thank you for reading my work. It really means alot considering people think I cant write because i'm barely 13

[Antoñyo]

whoa...13? Jeez Louise!

[Sahara M.]

Yup I turned 13 about 4 months ago

[Antoñyo]

That makes that piece that much more incredible..but um, well just be careful with those "mature" reads.

[Sahara M.]

Thanks for the warning.I guarantee that I've probably heard much worse than whatever is on this website

[Empty Spaces]

the first line makes me happy O_O

[Sahara M.]

oookay.....that was totally normal not awkward at all. but, thanks. And ermahgerd!! My mom told me you were cute and just died. right there. just died

[Gianna Y]

OH MY GLOB DUDE this is amazing. Kinda reminds me of Evanescence.

[Sahara M.]

really???!! I love them, but I don't know that many of their songs :(

[Sami Khalil]

"reminding me of how I was torn apart,

but I'm happy you're now in a better place,

even though there's so much I can never erase,

at least now you're free from this world of cruelty, sorrow and pain

at least now your death will not have been in vain"

A very good poem. Pen on...:)

[Sahara M.]

thank you sooo much. I'm only 13 and a lot of people think because i'm so young i can write. It means soo much :)

[Sami Khalil]

You have a great talent and a future full of promises. Don't listen to naysayers. They are negative and jealous or they can't achieve things themselves. I learned that...:)

[Sahara M.]

thank you :)

[Sami Khalil]

^^~^^ :)............