Lost

I wait briefly at a 4 way crossing.
It’s an overcast night,
the exotically coloured fall leaves highlighted vibrantly in the contrast
of streetlight and missing moon.

Woman: do you have any change, honey?
Me: nothing on me sorry

I speed up, I slow down,
remembering I am trying to relax,
moderate pace.

This is a people watching exercise.
I watch someone stop and watch
what’s happening in a restaurant.
I’m not sure what was so interesting?

I’m jealous of the smell of everyone’s weed
because I quit.
Oh but if I could just say yes!

I’m walking loops around the town and now I’m at the bus station
I hope that I will meet someone to talk with. Well, not here.
I do this a lot on Saturdays
Not at the bus station, just in general.
I’m not sure why I think that will happen
like this,
not participating
just spectating.
I am pathetically isolated.

Woman - do you have any change, honey?
Me - nothing on me sorry

I walk past a Halloween party
and it sounds fun,
I’ve been to those.
Passing the neon of a karaoke bar I wonder how many times
the workers have heard all the same songs?
Do they ever sing them, even in the oasis of distracted thought?
Pieces of mustache are all over the sidewalk.
Fake.
More weed. Dank is a good word for strong stuff now,
but even a few years ago that word didn’t mean that.
It would have meant musty, damp, weed. Which is bad.

I’m back at that four-way crossing,
I always go the same way.