The accident (part 2)

Why do I dream of you?
And wake up crying
Remembering you?
Cant dream... It's you dying
Can't be awake without hiding
The war I'm mentally fighting

it's like I'm sleepwalking
Every single day without fail
My heart's not working..
It stopped with every detail.
I wasn't there but I feel like I was
I'm just going through the motions

Your birthday won't be the same
Your name still brings pain
It use to be happiness not blame...
I could have stayed longer...
My head drums with your voice...
I think so little about my every choice

I make mistakes... Every day
It's like claws digging into me
Dragging me down so far away
I'm not strong by I'm trying to be
I've known you all my life almost 19 years,
And now when I think of you all there is, is pain and tears