Delhites-Mazoor (The Cripple)

This is a short story about how we think that our challenges are the worst in the world and everyone else's is not.

March 2016

Mazoor (The Cripple)

The year was 1984 and it was a hot and humid July morning in the city of Delhi. The millions of its inhabitants went about their daily chores scurrying about to meet their objectives. This story was about one such person, among those millions. He was a seventy five year old man named Imran Khan and was always respectfully referred to as Khan Saheb. He was a retired clerk, who had worked in the Public Works Department all his life. As an orthodox Muslim, his world revolved around Islam and his family. Khan Saheb had a family of three sons and two daughters, whom he saw educated and married. By the time he retired at the age of sixty, he was pretty satisfied with the way things had turned out for him. He was happy and looked towards leading a quiet retired life with his wife.

A few years later, when he turned sixty five, Khan Saheb noticed his hands and feet started shaking a little bit while in a sitting or resting position. He brushed it off as a natural part of aging.

Sometime later, Khan Saheb and his wife moved out of their ancestral home, that they had rebuilt for the family, because their sons were embroiled in a bitter dispute. The sons were trying to stake claim on the property. Their daughters could offer little comfort as they had their own husband’s families to take care of. Khan Saheb eventually rented a small two room apartment in Jamia Nagar which was close to a Mosque. His only source of income was the three thousand and three hundred rupees he was drawing as a pensioner. With time, Khan Saheb virtually distanced himself from his children, especially his sons because of the disputes around his property.

When he turned seventy, he was diagnosed with advanced stages of Parkinson’s disease making him physically restricted. He had to live with it and every day that passed became a battle for him. His new companion was his stick, which was to support him in the years ahead. Emotionally distressed with the experience within his family and his medical condition made him an embittered man. Khan Saheb gradually developed impatience and dislike for the youth. He gained notoriety in the society, where he lived as being a bitter old man, who was always ready to pick up an argument, especially with any of the youngsters who lived there. If there was a young person, irrespective of gender, Khan Saheb would never lose an opportunity to chide them.  The tremors in his hands and legs became visible, adding to his mental and physical discomfort. As a result, he chose to spend more and more time away from everyone. There was little that Fatima Begum could do as his wife. His pride and ego never let his wife help him with his basic chores even at home. Khan Saheb would eventually show his affirmation by his silence, when offered assistance. Fatima Begum as a dutiful wife learnt over time how to read, when he was open or closed to help.

That late morning Khan Saheb had an appointment with the Officer at the Pensions department at Trilok Bhawan in Delhi. He had made this appointment by phone, a few days earlier with the assistant to the Officer. He was upset at no increment in his pension, when the Public Notice of increment was made three months ago. In spite of repeated letters written to the Pensions department requesting for an explanation, there was no reply. He then made an appointment with the Officer seeking an explanation. His appointment was scheduled at eleven am. Khan Saheb aware of his challenges in movement timed himself accordingly and he entered the Pensions department at quarter to eleven.

On entering the office, he noticed a woman in her late twenties seated outside the cabin of the officer. She was the personal assistant to the Officer of the Pensions department. She was going about her daily tasks appearing quite busy. There was a row of chairs leading up to the door of the Officer’s cabin. The Pensions department had the typical makings of a government office in India. Files were strewn all over in a disorderly conduct. The furniture had a worn and faded look. The department employees had this lazy demeanor about them while they worked and looked disengaged. The clock ticked and the clock tocked, at its own pace. The only noise that was audible, were the gossips going on between the female employees about diaper rash, maid servant woes and mother-in-law bashing. The male employees were huddled in one corner talking about the latest cricket scores and arguing which cricketer was better, Vivian Richards or Kapil Dev. Khan Saheb appeared irritated that they were four people seated leading to the entrance door of the Officer. He immediately assumed that he was the fifth person in queue to meet with the Officer. The people seated were comparatively younger in age than he was. Khan Saheb then trudged up to her desk and spoke.

 “Excuse me Miss, my name is Imran Khan”

“I have an 11’ o clock appointment with the Officer”

 She was busy reading a file and didn’t look up to answer Khan Saheb, and pointing to the chairs replied “Yes Mr. Khan, please take a seat and I will call for you.”

Khan Saheb was irritated with her response and slowly walked to his chair which was fifth from the door.

The clock ticked and the clock tocked. Khan Saheb’s thoughts, through the wait started to wander. His doctor’s words were echoing in his mind like a warning, “Khan Saheb unfortunately you will be completely crippled five years from now. So please accept your condition.”

Momentarily disturbed by those words, he came back from his wandering thoughts. He looked at the clock and it read ‘11:17’. He looked at the assistant hoping she would catch his gaze. She had a smile on her face at all times, even in regular conversation with her colleagues. The more she smiled, the more Khan Saheb seemed agitated. At about ‘11:25’, she called out for the first person to enter the cabin. Twenty five minutes had gone by since his designated appointment with the Officer.

“Mr. Singh, can you please go into the cabin”

The first person immediately obeyed and rushed in to meet with the Officer. The clock ticked and the clock tocked. Khan Saheb looked at the others seated ahead of him. They all looked younger to him. They would have been either children or relatives to the pensioners on whose behalf they were meeting with the Officer. He felt sad that he had five children and none of them were there to help him in his condition.

The clock then read ‘11:45’. Khan Saheb then decided to walk up to the assistant again, to gain her permission, to be the next to see the Officer. With a lot of struggle he slowly got up from his chair and walked to her desk with his stick in hand.

“Excuse me Miss…” with a serious tone.

Before he could finish his sentence, she this time looked at him smilingly and said “Please be seated Khan Saheb, I will call you in a while.”

He was sure that she had noticed his condition as everyone else had. His intention of gaining priority based on his condition did not seem to work with her. He frowned and mumbled to himself as he walked back to his seat.

The clock ticked and the clock tocked. After what seemed eternity the assistant announced.

“Mr. Gopal, you can go in please”

The time was now ‘12:30’. As soon as Mr. Gopal went in, Khan Saheb was clearly agitated with being kept to wait. There were still two people ahead of him and he decided to let the assistant know about his condition. He looked at her and she was on the phone, laughing away in conversation with someone, completely oblivious to his state and condition. She had no respect or care for his age and his condition. Every time she laughed, Khan Saheb got angrier. His hands and feet started shaking more violently as a result of his anger. He got up slowly but steadily, and walked up to her desk. He banged his hand on her table. In a very loud and angry tone he said.

“Excuse me Lady”

“Cannot you see? Are you blind in one eye or both? You have to be visually handicapped” he said with a sharp sarcastic tone.

“I have been waiting here for the last one and a half hours for my appointment. I had a confirmed appointment for 11:00 AM and you made me wait for nothing. You don’t even have the basic decency to see how helpless I am in this condition.”

She was shocked at his sudden outburst. She excused herself with the caller and hung up.

“But Sir…”

“But, Sir…what, you insolent lady? You are visually handicapped, like the rest of the world” he retorted angrily.

She firmly replied “Sir, I can see pretty clearly that you have been waiting for quite some time. There are also other people ahead of you in queue. This is the Pensions department and here everyone is on a first come first serve basis.”

“I am not talking about those other people. I had booked my appointment for 11:00 AM so that I would not have to wait in this condition. Why did you give me an appointment?”

“Sir, we estimate an average of fifteen minutes per person and allot a time accordingly. Today unfortunately the appointments took more time.”

“Sir, please be patient”

“Listen you insolent lady. Do not teach me about patience. You are too young and immature to know anything.” Khan Saheb seemed to hold her solely accountable for his discomfort that he was feeling, while waiting for the appointment. He wanted to vent his frustration and directed his ire towards her.

“I have been noticing you since I walked in. You have been doing nothing but wasting your time, chatting away with your colleagues and gossiping on the phone with your friends”

Khan Saheb looked at the other people seated in the queue while shouting at the assistant. He hoped to gain their collective opinion in favor of his argument.

He continued his spell of ranting “You silly youngsters have no respect for age. Your parents did a pathetic job of bringing you up.”

In a firm tone she responded to his tirade “Why are you getting personal and talking about my parents Sir? Kindly, calm down Khan Saheb. I respect a person’s behavior and not his age.”

Her answer made him furious.

“How dare you show me disrespect you insolent lady?” he shouted back.

“Khan Saheb, please address me by my name, Asha and not insolent lady” she replied.

The heated argument between them was going nowhere when she took a deep breath and said.

“Ok Khan Saheb, please quiet down. For you I will personally go into Sir’s cabin and see if he can see you next.”

Saying this with her smile, Asha positioned herself to get up from her chair. She instead used both her hands to push the table forward and her wheel chair moved out.

Asha was a double amputee.

The smile on her face continued while she maneuvered her chair towards her boss’s door. Tears rolled down Khan Saheb’s wrinkled face. His throat choked at what he saw. He now understood Life’s cruel side and how crippled he was in his thinking. He all along wallowed in self pity with his condition and used it to his advantage against others, and there was this young woman who did not display any self pity or anger or sadness about her condition. She had no legs, but she carried on living her life like a normal person. The clock ticked and the clock tocked. His thoughts echoed the words ‘In times of personal suffering, do not be crippled in thoughts turning inward to self-pity or outward to revenge, but live a life of eagerness and spirit.’

Reviews

[Jolyon Hallows]

This is a beautiful story, well told. It also hits home: my wife has Parkinson's and I am her caregiver. It's easy for me to feel sorry for myself, but whenever I attend the meetings of my support group, I'm always struck by how much worse (from my point of view) the other are. Thank you.