I will be the change, I wish to see in the world

A short story about a 18th century girl who fights for her equality and goes on to become a social reformer.

August 2015

Ilaa

1.

Close to the city of Paithan, in a small village called Sauviragram, which lay along the banks of the great river Godavari, lived a woman named Ilaa. Being cotton farmers, her family was well to do, but not among the richest in their area. It was the harvest season, and cotton had to be picked from the plants. The wholesalers and traders from Paithan would be arriving in just a few weeks, carrying gold and goods for barter. They would exchange what they carried for the cotton that the farmers grew. The bales of cotton had to be ready in time! Work was at its peak!

But Ilaa was not to be found in the fields. She wasn't working. Instead, she was sitting by the banks of the great river Godavari.

“I am sick of this!” she grunted loudly.

Ilaa was sixteen years old. She was the youngest child and the only daughter of Vinayak Sonkar, who was an influential cotton farmer in Sauviragram. She had six older brothers, all who helped her father in cotton growing and trading. Her father Vinayak was an ardent follower of the Bhakti movement and a devout worshipper of Sant Tukaram. The village was a small community of cotton farmers and hence it was very traditional for family decisions to be influenced by the elders of the village.

Ilaa was the only daughter and spoilt by her father.  She was pampered by all her brothers as well. As a result she had better opportunities and exposure to life and was educated along with her brothers. Ilaa understood and realised how different she was from the other women in Sauviragram and considered herself blessed.

She was not to be seen that particular day in the fields. That morning she had found out, her father had fixed up her marriage with a fifty year old rich trader named Vishnu Rawade from Satara. Vinayak wanted his daughter to live a very comfortable life and it was common practice to marry off daughters, around her age. His family also stood to benefit in business through the alliance.

'How could he?' she thought to herself.

'I am sick of this. Father did not even ask me whether I was ready for marriage. How could he fix my marriage with a man, who is as old as he is?'

She was staring into the mighty Godavari with all these thoughts going through her head.

'Father prays to Sant Tukaram every day and I am sure Sant baba would not approve of this. Where is my Bhakti?' she thought with tears in her eyes.

She sat on the banks of the river and prayed deeply to Sant Tukaram. 'Dear Sant baba, please guide me and give me strength.'

She then went back to the fields later that day to help her brothers in the harvest. Though initially being annoyed with not knowing her whereabouts, her oldest brother scolded her and then they continued harvesting.

Sant Tukaram was a revered spiritual leader who lived during the mid seventeenth century and he was a strong proponent of the Bhakti movement. Vinayak had the good fortune of meeting Sant Tukaram as a child and eventually became a follower. Sant Tukaram’s legacy lived on in the poems he wrote and sang.

2.

(Flashback)

Unlike Sauviragram, the market in Paithan was a major market for all kinds of trade in goods and the barter system was the main method of trade with the occasional transactions in gold. It was usual for the cotton traders from Sauviragram to occasionally go to Paithan for trade.

About two years ago, it was on one such trip that Ilaa met thirty year old Saifuddin Reza, when he had come to Paithan as a trader. He came with the intention of buying cotton as raw material for his business in garments that he would sell to the nobility of the Delhi Sultanate. The quality of cotton from Paithan was the reason why he made the journey for the first time.

 'Father, can I come with you to Paithan?' Ilaa shouted with excitement to Vinayak. After some cajoling, he agreed to take her to Paithan. On reaching the market, he chose a good spot to unload the bales of cotton from all the carts.

Vinayak commanded a modest reputation, for selling high quality cotton. It was then that a stocky and well built Saifuddin visited his shop for the first time. As it was Ilaa’s first time at the market, she looked excitedly at the hustle and bustle of transactions in full swing. Her enthusiasm got the better of her and she started shouting out for customers. She would occasionally step in and watch her brothers close a deal.

'How much for five bales of this cotton?' asked a serious Saifuddin, but with a smile on his face. He was captivated by her eagerness and her lively demeanor which was in full flow. 

A sudden request for such a large order got her attention. 'How many bales did you say?' she asked.

'How much for five bales?' he repeated.

'Ten pieces of gold' she said confidently.

'Done, here is ten pieces of gold you ask for. When can I have the cotton?' Saifuddin asked.

This quick deal caught Vinayak and his sons by surprise. They were happy and proud of Ilaa to have made a lot of money that day.

Over the next few seasons Saifuddin became one of Vinayak’s main buyers and a feeling of mutual trust and respect grew between them.

With every opportunity that came, Saifuddin would talk to Ilaa about her beliefs and ask about her likes and dislikes. There was a very evident liking that he developed for Ilaa, because she was unlike any other woman he had ever met. Ilaa on the other hand enjoyed Saifuddin’s company because she had not developed a friendship with any man in her village apart from her father and brothers. She admired the respect he gave her.

3.

(Present)

A few weeks later all the traders and farmers met at the market in the village. It was a good harvest for the small cotton growing community at Sauviragram. Vinayak was particularly pleased with his crop this time. He was also pleased at the forthcoming marriage of his daughter with Vishnu Rawade.

'This year has been the best for my family' he said clapping this hand on his crossed thigh.

'Thanks, to the blessings of Sant baba.'

The first few days of the market season had finished, with most of the crop being sold. The older men of the village sat under a tree outside Vinayak’s house discussing Ilaa’s alliance with Vishnu.

'Ilaa should have been named Laxmi' Vishnu said to the others sitting with him.

'She is the reason, why I got the best garment manufacturer buying my cotton'

'She is also the reason, why the wealthiest trader from Satara will be my son-in-law' said Vinayak gloating in front of his friends.

Ilaa overheard what her father had said from the window of her room. She was seated with her mother. Her mother was a demure house wife. She went about her house work taking care of her family quietly and never spoke to her husband unless spoken to. She was a perfect example of how the women of medieval Maharashtra were positioned in society.

The one sided conversation had progressed quite a bit between her father and the others seated outside the Sonkar house. 

Ilaa then stood up and walked out of her room towards the gathering.

'My dear father, I refuse to marry Rawadeji' she said in a soft but firm tone.

'He is not someone, I would like to spend the rest of my life with' she said with her face slightly bowed down but still looking at her father. Vinayak could not believe what he had just heard. The other senior men in his company were shocked at Ilaa’s audacity.

'Dear father, you have raised me as an equal if not more to my brothers. Why is it that now when it comes to the decision of my marriage you would not ask me?' Ilaa said this with a lot of conviction.

'I would request you to show me some Bhakti'

'How dare you speak to father like this?' shouted out one of her brothers.

'He did not ask any one of us, then what made you think he would ask you?'

Her father in is angry voice replied 'You were brought up different and pampered for being my only daughter. Just because of this, you have no right to speak your mind. You are a woman and your place is in the house. Get inside the house and you will be married to Rawadeji in a few days.'

With the first drops of tears on her face Ilaa was hurt at hearing what her father said. She stood her ground and didn’t turn to leave. Her feet were trembling with obvious fear.

'Ilaa, I will marry you' a voice said suddenly.

Everyone turned to the direction of the voice and it was Saifuddin.

'I will keep you happy and keep you free'

The atmosphere worsened with tensions rising high with the appearance of Saifuddin. Village youth mobbed in his direction to confront him but were stopped by his armed entourage.

'Saifuddin, how dare you speak of marrying my daughter? You are a Muslim' Vinayak retorted angrily. 'You have crossed all ethical boundaries with in this action of yours.'

'Her marriage is fixed with Vishnu Rawade of Satara and he will keep her well.'

Saifuddin thought deeply and made a sudden offer 'I will offer you a hundred pieces of gold for your daughter's hand in marriage.'

There was a sudden silence among everyone present. Vinayak thought in his head 'A hundred pieces of gold.'

Saifuddin repeated his offer politely. Vinayak furious at Saifuddin’s bold request initially, calmed down at the mention of gold.

'But you are a Muslim' Vinayak said hesitantly.

Saifuddin said 'Yes I am a Muslim and Ilaa will be a Muslim too after marriage.'

While all the men were discussing and sorting out Ilaa’s sudden predicament, no one noticed her standing alone with her head down and in tears.

She knelt down with her hands folded 'Please Sant baba, give me strength to understand this. Up till now I thought my father, my brothers and my friend treated my equally. But I was wrong in thinking so. They may have loved me but they did not respect me enough to be an equal.'

Wiping her tears Ilaa got up and said.

'Dear father, you are a worshipper of Sant Tukaram baba who believed in the philosophy of Bhakti. It was through you that I came to love and worship Sant baba. Unfortunately I do not think you quite understand the Bhakti philosophy. Sant baba had a deep understanding of Hindu philosophy. Even the Brahmins of his village at Dehu were deeply offended by his act of pursuing God by a Non-Brahmin. They were constantly challenging baba’s interpretation of the Vedas. According to Sant baba there is no reference to gender or caste hierarchy mentioned in the Vedas. He advocated there were no differences in gender and women in ancient times enjoyed equal respect as men. If you blindly follow the Bhakti movement without knowing its true essence, then what have gained over all these years?'

Vinayak heard intently with his head down. There was a deafening silence when Ilaa finished speaking to her father. 

She started narrating a poem by Sant Tukaram while tears came down his face.

I speak,

Yet am I silent

I am dead,

Yet do I live

I am in the world,

Yet do I dwell beyond the world

 

I have surrendered all things,

Yet am I rich and joyful

 

I am lonely

Yet am I not alone

 

I am not what I seem to be

If you would know what I am

Ask Him, my Lord.

 

Ilaa then turned to Saifuddin 'I am sorry. I choose not to marry you. I should not be using the word, sorry. The moment you proposed money in return for me, you went against my dignity and belief.'

'Then you decided prematurely decide my faith.'

Looking to everyone Ilaa spoke.

'I am Ilaa and I was born in Paithan. My Bhakti says, I will be the change, I wish to see in the world.'

Saifuddin had no answer to what Ilaa had told him.

Ilaa went quietly into the Sonkar house, gathered a few of her belongings while there was awkward silence around.

She told herself ‘I will spread the true meaning of the Bhakti movement, as far my feet will take me because even after all these years, there are still followers who do not understand it.’

A gentle breeze blew that evening through the village with an uneasy calm.

Ilaa left her house with everyone’s head down in shame. She travelled over the years, across India and spread Sant Tukaram’s Bhakti movement as a social reformer, on gender equality and untouchability.

Author's Note

It was my first attempt at writing after almost 2 decades. Feedback will be appreciated.

Reviews

[suman]

Hi..I enjoyed reading the story and it do motivates me to choose the right path in life

Thanks for writing :-) looking forward to see more

[Darius Chinoy]

Thank you so much it was a simple attempt at writing again. Encouraging words can go very far and please read my next story. :)