Small Equasions

This was an assignment by a member to write something about the state of the world. Hedra Helix asked that we do this some time ago.

lust+love+greed2+selfinterest+fear+longing+wishes=WORLD

WORLD (always) devided by/ political influence x COUNTRY = Strife2 + greed/struggle + violence + hope + unequal rights for all = COUNTRY devided by/ STATES=PROVINCE=PRIVET INTERESTS (SPPI)

SPPI devided by/ color + creed + beliefs + violence + stereotypes + selfinterests2 + longing + dreams + depressions + lowincome C/1 high need = FAMILY UNIT

FAMILY UNIT devided by/ selfinterest2 + resentment + indifference + failure + lean years + fat years + years old grudes + disfunction + baggage2 + love + good intentions + hard work + falling short= 1X

Solve for X (Greedy? Self righteous? Indifferent? Uneducated? Loving? Follow in my father's footsteps? Give into resentment? Lie to protect myself? Trust no one? Trust everyone? Succeed?)

I am that 1

WORLD = 1

Author's Note

Comments and crits welcome.

Reviews

[Charles Konsor [mod]]

I love the idea of this, but I find the words choices a little too . . . melodramatic. greed, self-righteous, violence, hope. All these words are overused in poetry and have thus lost their meaning. When we read them we just pass over them, waiting for more unusual words that connect with something inside of us.

"Follow in my father's footsteps" and "Trust no one? Trust everyone?" are a little better just because they're unexpected (to me at least) in a poem like this. However, they still don't connect with anything personal inside of me. I think you need smaller ideas, more personal things. For example "friday night alone" or "banana not yet ripe, banana overripe" or "fake laugh tempted by real love" or just something which you can think of in your head and say, 'oh yeah, i know what she's talking about'.