Ashley Arsenic-

It's a sort of a short diary fragment from a novel I haven't written yet

13-12-2015

There are sundays when you don't really have to do something, when you are so tired and don't know if you rather lay in bed, listen to music or just die.

The good thing about lying in bed is that you don't have to do anything other than thinking and just lying, since the whole breathing thing and all goes automatic, because my body is sane. I think so. The only bad thing about lying in bed, is that my father is someone who always wants to know what I'm doing, and when I say "just lying in bed" he'll come upstairs and say "get out of bed, it is three o' clock in the afternoon." He is one of those people who don't understand you can be very tired around that time.

He is one of those people who don't understand that it's possible to be so f*****g tired of everything almost always. However, I'm someone who does know and who is.

I'm Ashley Arsenic and this is my story. Just my life, as ugly and as beautiful as it is; I can't make it any more beautiful or any more ugly, just because I don't want to lie. I write this to keep everything in perspective. Maybe I'm a bit of a perfectionist and a controlfreak. Not always. Just sometimes. Just right now, while I come up with the idea to write everything down to read it over, later. To see if I think I'll think something like what the hell was wrong with me then? It looks very funny to me.

So. By now, I promise; I'll be f*****g honest from now on. No lies, no understatements, no big deal. Only truth. There is enough fake around us all.

No pictures, no comercial conversations, only words, as honest as no one can be in real life. That's  onr of the reasons why I write this down. To add anything real.

(Oh, I'm such a hypocrite, because I spend whole days on Tumblr, on YouTube and writing sites watching pictures, listening to music and reading stories. Writing them.)

I love writing stories, poems and songs, even though I really can't sing and I never want anyone I know to read them. It is just for myself, from myself, for no one else. Probably.

I share it with you.

I've always loved reading and writing, even though I stopped writing when I was nine and little, started when I was thirteen and never told anyone. By now, I am fourteen years om this planet, still don't know the rules and wandering while I have to sleep.

I guess I have to sleep now. While I'm most of the time tired, I'm not now, now it is eleven pm and I'm lying in bed. I guess it has something to do with the having people around me tje whole time. Sometimes I like that company, other times I absolutely don't.

Listening to Lana Del Rey's Summertime Sadness, which is now one of my favorite songs (tomorrow my opinion has probably changed). Lying in bed with my phone. Thinking about tomorrow when I have to go to school again.

I'll see. You'll see.

Here, for you. Always from now. (Some alwayses are longer than other alwayses.)

Ashley Arsenic

Author's Note

I've writen this a few weeks ago and I'm trying to make this a novel. But 1) English isn't my first language and 2) I can use all tips etc.

Reviews

[Rafy T.Nym]

First of all, I like the title or the name 'Ashley Arsenic'. Though the name is 'Arsenic', I don't think the character behaves like 'Arsenic'. She is rather a sweet one and a simple one and it's that kind of character which attracts the reader to know more.

There are some little grammatical mistakes here and there, but re-reading can help,nothing to worry.

Best wishes for you. Keep writing. :-)

[Darcy Yellichzang]

Thanks a lot! Engish isn't my first language, but it's still going better everytime haha. But thank you very much :)