Outside the Window

A Poem by Darci Jordan

I didn't want to call this a story, but I wouldn't really call it a poem, either.

I look out the window and sigh in disappointment; why must it be so dreary and dank? Sure, I am already struck with a case of major depression, but the looming gray clouds in the sky, the literal freezing temperatures of the winter weather do not help the disorder that doctors have diagnosed me with. My heart and soul, already broken and worn down by nothing, just a chemical imbalance of my brain, ache some more. I cannot pinpoint what is wrong; I am a mystery even to myself. It’s as if the spirit deep within me can feel the weather outside, through my body and through the ice frosted window. The dull, sunless clouds have now drifted inside of me, pouring down rain and blocking out the mere amount of sunshine I had left. I feel I have reached rock bottom, and only a miracle seems to be the answer for my revival.

With a desire that only worsens my dispirited state, realizing it is only a fantasy that cannot be fulfilled, I imagine myself on the beach during a picture-perfect summers’ day. There are few clouds in the sky, this time, colors of milky white, surrounded by a vast sea of blue sky. The sun is blazing hot, beaming down on my body as I soak it in, the rays surging through me as if on a mission to resurrect my lifeless psyche. Its mission is complete, it has defeated the enemy of misery known as depression. The Queen of Light has saved me, bringing to life a radiating, dancing soul.