The Fireteam

It was the winter of 1939, the coldest winter in more ways than the obvious. The Soviet Union had just crossed the border to Finland in a massive offensive headed towards the village of Suomussalmi. Our superior, Commander Kurt Martti Wallenius had been ordered to assemble a group of five soldiers who were to observe the Soviet troops at a distance and fire only if no other option was possible. I was part of that group. I had been chosen because of my sharp eyes and my many trophies as a marksman. The rest of the group consisted of Corpral Karl Lennart Oesch; a real patriot in all senses, agile and cunning like a fox, Private Juhu Kusti; a burly man that could plough through snow with two men on either shoulder, Private Hjalmar Stromberg; a merited skier and one hellova card player, Ernst Linder; a volunteer from Sweden with a background as a surgeon at the hospital in Stockholm, real crucial for the group, and last but not least Johan Ståhlberg; our radio operator, serious while at work but a real wiseass and an uplifting spirit when we needed to stay low.

 

We were heavily outnumbered in men, aircrafts and tanks but luckily we were well prepared and I, as the other five, knew the landscape like the back of my hand. Lying on a small hill overlooking the white plain below we could see the Red Army approach from miles away, and since they probably underestimated us they hadn’t even bothered to paint their olive-green tanks or even change clothes into something less revealing. We were dressed in white winter clothes, which camouflaged us so well that a man could walk right past without noticing us, should it come to that. I remember thinking that it felt as if we were a pack of wolves gazing at a flock of sheep, waiting for one of them to wander off.

 

Not only were we outnumbered in troops and vehicles but the supplies were coming in sparse quantities; we had an ammunition shortage and no antitank weapons, the situation looked grim. We had awaited the Soviet troops for about a week before they finally turned up, I had of course hoped that they would have a change of heart and never enter into my precious country, but when they do came within sight I still felt a kind of relief. Now we would be put to the test.

Author's Note

First draft, don't be gentle.

Reviews

[C. Rose]

Here you did a good job really setting the feel of a new person carrying the story. The change in tone and flow is distinct to the new story-teller, good job!

I would only suggest here for your next edit to draw out a little bit more passion as the description of the upcoming conflict is spoken. It had to be intense to be tucked into the billows of cold snow and see your enemy approaching. I would think this kind of traumatic experience would still invoke emotion as the story-tellers relives the action. That would be my best editing suggestion for this chapter. I like the length of both chapters as well. It makes for quick bursts of emotion and change.

I always enjoy your writing David, you really speak to my imagination and I like that you embrace action and adventure in your stories. I can tell you can write this genre well. I am interested to see where this story goes.

PS I also love that you are still a romantic in your poetry ;)