Sauna visit

Amazing stories can be shared by anyone at any place.

Stories can be told anywhere by anyone with a vivid imagination, a spellbinding voice and the power to transfix its audience. Be it around a camp fire, at a feast or any other place where people gather to escape reality for a while. For me it happened in a sauna in one of LA:s crummiest bath houses, or relax centres as it’s more frequently called.

 

I finished work a whole lot later than expected since my darling dumb wit for a boss found a forty plus pages long rapport that needed to be reviewed and revised till the early morning meeting. And since I am the kind of guy who embrace being trampled on I just accepted the work without uttering a word or even the slightest sign of discomfort. Five hours later, in an office lined with tables and empty office chairs I finished and rose from my creaking chair to stretch my aching joints. It was 10pm, Sunday and the gym I had become a frequent at had closed two hours earlier.

 

I found Bardoni’s Relax Centre by accident when I was headed for another one of those luxurious, over-charging gyms that stayed open 24 hours. A big red sign with gold coloured letters which spelled, Bardoni’s Relax Centre: bath, sauna, massage and gym, hung over the front door. I don’t know if I felt suicidal after the work after hours, or if I just wasn’t thinking straight. Anyway I parked the car a short distance from the entrance and as I passed a few of life’s unfortunate souls who was laying on cardboard paper with blankets full of flees tucked around them I noticed how some of them woke and stared at me as if I was trespassing on their turf. Although, in that part of the city I must confess that I sure did feel like a tourist, gazing at everything and everyone with caution and curiosity.

 

After I had paid the insignificant sum to the man behind the relax centres counter I entered. It smelled of mould and damp and in the changing room most of the lockers were broken; dinted and scarred. Eventually I found one where the chink in the door wasn’t wide enough for a hand to reach in, and I changed into my sportswear.

 

I spent about half a hour in the gym and swam a few lanes in the chlorine drenched pool. I then went to take a shower. While there I deep voices and rumbling laughter coming from the sauna. Except for the man by the counter I had though that I had been alone, so the notion of other visitors scared me a bit, I must confess. For a moment I thought about skipping sauna but because I so daringly had entered the gym I decided to go against my meek nature and finish the day in a bold manner.

 

When I opened the door a wave of hot steam showered me, which left my standing in the door doubtful of my choice. From the thickness of the vapour three voices were raised as one.

“CLOSE THE DOOR!”

I shut the door behind me and sat down on the lower row of the sauna. I dared not to look back at whom I was sharing the sauna with but a quick glance to the right told me there were six feet and therefore three other occupants. Silence hung in the room as biting as the vapour and it was obvious that it was because of me. I imagined that they were sizing me up to beat and rob me while in the changing room. Instead the silence was broken by an apology.

“Sorri ther’, my friend, didn’t mean to sound so harsh. It’s hard to get the right temp’ in her’, you know.” Said the man sitting closest to me in a strange accent; it sounded like something in-between Russian and Italian only more jolly somehow.

“It’s ok.” I answered but kept my eyes on the wooden floor.

“Say, are you from her’?” The same man then asked.

I didn’t want to reveal that I had a nice flat downtown, and as I struggled for words his next question spared me the lie.

“The USA I mean, are you from the USA?”

“Yes.” I said and cast a quick glance back at an old and thin man. He had neatly combed hair and despite his age his arms and legs were muscular, his skin was pink; no doubt by the intense heat in the sauna, and it was full of scars. The most conspicuous about the man was his deformed jaw and right cheek, which hung limply from his face.

“Have you ever been to Finland?” He asked.

I said that I hadn’t and he accepted that with a low sounding grunt, no doubt disappointed.

“That’s where the sauna comes from.” There was a hint of pride in his voice when he said that.

I remained quiet.

As time progressed we began to talk and I was able to relax a bit. Laughter once again filled the sauna and occasionally there was a stomp on the bench I was sitting on that revealed how much the three men appreciated each others jokes. The most talkative was named Simo; the same whose apology I had received earlier.

The three of them came from Helsinki; the capital of Finland, and they had moved to LA less then a year ago to fully enjoy the remaining days of their retirement from the Finnish military. They shared their memories with me and since Simo knew English better than the other two he often translated when one of the others had problems finding the right words.

 

The other two, Matti and Hjalmar were about the same age as Simo. Matti had old tattoos all over his torso and arms, which had stretched and blurred over the years, while Hjalmar’s chest was a carpet of silvery hair.

“Do you remember the Icicle Christmas?” Simo asked the two, who nodded and muttered something indistinct under their breaths, and I knew that a story was to begin.

Author's Note

First draft. Be honest, I know it's probably filled with errors so help me out a bit.

Reviews

[C. Rose]

Okay so I read both chapters but wanted to do a review on them both. I actually like the way this first chapter starts out, sure there is some editing to do, although be careful to not do too much. The introduction is strong and I think sets the "story-telling" tone to the way the flow of this first chapter heads. It has to sound like a friend telling you something that happened to him and I think you captured that aspect.

Really for a first draft it's not that far off. I like your transition to chapter 2 as well :)

[Cherrie]

this is a good and strong story line, it graps the readers attention and makes them ask then what, and if you have done that your stage is set