Chapter 3

He set off on a narrow trail that had been made by someone walking there moments earlier. The wind had stopped and the sun was peaking over the hills in the east, transforming the snow into a glittering veil that covered the whole landscape. It was somewhat hard for the eyes and he squinted to see the marked path in front of him as he made his way forward. He had only been walking for a half an hour or so but he was already beginning to sweat. He removed his mitts and let them cool in the air while he caught his breath. The mountains ahead were breathtaking as they dominated the landscape, almost as if it were pushing back heaven with its mighty shoulders. He couldn’t understand how men could destroy something that beautiful only because of money, and hopefully they wouldn’t. He put on his wool padded mitts again and continued forward.

 

A tiny figure, hidden by the blinding snow, was trailing his tracks, smart enough to keep a short distance. She could see that her father had begun walking again, for a moment she had been terrified that he might have spotted her. A few times she had been sure that he had spotted her when he had glanced back, but if he had he hadn’t said anything. Maybe he was glad she was coming with him. Although she decided it was best to see that later, maybe when they reached the foot of the mountains. The walk had been a lot easier than she first had thought. She was warm and dry and hadn’t even taken a small nibble on the two sandwiches she’d brought. The sun warmed her face, no doubt making her cheeks flush like two Virginia hams, as her mother used to say. She wondered if her mother was sick with worry now or if she’d even noticed that she was gone. When she got back she would tidy her room and help mother with the dishes; that might make her a bit less angry for leaving without notice.

 

They were halfway there when she first heard the low howling sound. At first she thought it was her tummy rumbling again, so she took another bite of the one sandwich she had left, but when she heard it again it didn’t sound like her tummy at all. Her father seemed to have heard it too because he had stopped and was looking towards the mountains. The sun had climbed well past midday and it wouldn’t be long before it started to grow dark. She narrowed her eyes and tried to see what her father was looking at in the mountains. They had grown a whole lot larger now but they still remained distant. What she had thought would be an easy walk to and fro was beginning to pay its toll. Her feet were cold and damp, and she was struggling just to keep up with her father and not lose sight of him. She had a few bites left on her last sandwich but despite her efforts to eat modest and regularly it didn’t help much to still her hunger. When she looked back at her father she saw that he had begun to walk again, during the last hour he had picked up his pace and made it harder for her to follow. She wanted to cry out to him, to tell him to wait, but she was afraid of how angry he would be at her for coming. The snow was becoming thicker and even though she tried to step in her fathers steps sometimes she missed and fell. One time she had sunk down to her knees in snow and it had taken a lot of energy to pull loose, another time she’d fallen face down in the cold snow, crying in frustration and fright, but she had forced herself to carry on. She had made a decision to follow her father to the foot of the mountain, and that was what she was going to do, she’d told herself stubbornly.

 

Reviews

[Stephanotis]

In this chapter, as in the others, the imagery is great. I especially like the line, "making her cheeks flush like two Virginia hams."

There's a point of view problem in the first part. It's the grandmother/little girl telling the story, but the first paragraph has the father's thoughts. She couldn't have known what he was thinking, but she could have guessed. In that case, it's okay to say, "he must have figured" instead of "he figured" and "he squinted" instead of "he had to squint."

Technical issues:

"He set of on a narrow trail" - "of" should be "off"

"The mountains ahead were breathtaking as it dominated its presents" - "it" should be "they" and "presents" should be "presence," but this sentence might sound better if it read, "dominated the horizon" or "dominated the landscape."

"not loose sight of him." - "loose" should be "lose"