The Fear

It's simple: If you do not have any kind of phobia, don't read this.

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They came at night. Normally, people would find this very silly, but she didn’t. Every night there were more, the darker it was, the hotter it got, the more there were. Maybe it was just her imagination, but she simply noticed them more every single evening!

As it got dark, she started taking action. Every way that seemed logically protective, she used it. She sprayed all around the door, right on the bottom of the walls, in every little corner that was close to her bedroom door. It didn’t help much, but it made her feel slightly safer. She threw quick glances at the slit under the door, by fear of them coming in without her noticing. Noticing, no matter how fear-inducing it was, made her take action…kill them, thus be safe. But that was never the end of the problem. They were dead, but not in her thoughts. Sitting there, working on her laptop, she felt neutral. The door suddenly opened, she thought it was grams, but no one was there. It was then she imagined them, hundreds of them , black, crawling, disgusting, coming through the slit, walking onto the walls of her room, growing more numerous! She felt itching all over her body, as though they were crawling up on it now, terrifying her, disgusting her…she needed to scream! But she couldn’t. People would know, people would make fun of her.

She rarely slept. Seeing them all night in her mind, attacking at any unexpected time in the darkness, under her bed, among her belongings, she imagined them climbing up on her pillow, all of them, and enveloping her with their disgusting bodies! She felt it. Running for the light switch, she hit it nervously and checked every inch of her room. There was nothing at all. She knew it, yet couldn’t stop these painful thoughts from invading her mind every night, every moment she spent in that house! It tortured her inside to have these mind-breaking thoughts, but she couldn’t get rid of them. Her mother made fun of it all. She called her “silly”, making her feel stupid, all because of this fear. Her father was angry and held her responsible for ruining her own life by fearing these things. Nobody understood what she felt upon seeing them! None of these sarcastic and angry people felt this painful rush in her veins when one of these creatures was at the door of her bedroom. They weren’t there, where she was, paralyzed, pinned to her bed, unable to get to the door and bring out an exterminator from the closet. She wasn’t even able to go within a meter close to them. If one did get this close she’d find herself crying, shaking, helpless, and most of all, terrified. Every night she hid inside her room, the boundaries between her and “them”, until one night, when it all changed, and even her room was no longer safe. It came in, and crawled under her bed. It was huge, black, and hairy, it was a spider. Nothing more idiotic! A spider! A supposedly helpless insect that kept her up all night and the following nights after it was killed because she feared another one would go in! The boundaries had been broken. A huge cockroach made its way in just a week later, making things worse. Ever since then it was never the same. The room had now become yet another fear-inducing place, for they had crossed the limits, going inside her old sanctuary.

She was more anxious now. She spent as much time possible away from this house, simply to reduce her anxiety! Seeing them destroyed her, every night, for the remainder of the year. She had no choice but to stay and put up with it, not daring to tell anyone about it because they laughed at her fear! They laughed at her fear, because they didn’t understand she was different. They laughed at a fear that wasn’t really a fear. It was a phobia.