No where to escape

    It was a day like any other. It was supposed to be a normal day, but he had a bad feeling about it. He went out for a little air, and walked around the city for a while, hoping to find a friend or two to chat with. He had no idea what he would run into that day...

 

    They were yelling and shouting protests. They held chains and staffs, anything they could hit with, they were furious, furious to the point of becoming monstrous. He saw them approach the city as fear slowly went through his body and filled his heart and mind. He couldn't move, nailed to the ground, his heart thumping painfully and cold sweat trickling down his neck. Suddenly, he felt as though something had shaken him. He had to get out of there! He turned and started running with no objective but to get as far away as possible from them..he stopped. Another group was burning cars and wheels, blocking the roads to drivers and walkers by. He looked around to find another road, then realized that they were everywhere. He had no way to escape their fury! They were smashing cars, rampaging the city, breaking into shops and destroying everything in their way. Most of the roads were now blocked by burning wheels and cars, the army was breaking through them to protect the innocent people. He kept walking among scared people to find a way out of this mess, until the army finally got to the part of the city where he was. He thought it was a good sign until he heard the first bullet hit a car next to him. A shootout had started while the protesting people directed their guns towards the army, and the soldiers shot back. He couldn't believe this was happening! People were falling down by his side as he kept looking for a way out. An old man passing by was shot in the leg, a soldier got hit in the chest and fell motionless beside his vehicle. No one was paying attention to the fallen and injured, they were either shooting, running away or hiding. At last he found a narrow passage between two buildings and slipped through it, then broke off for a run. He ran relentlessly until he thought he was safe, then realized he had no idea where he was. He had run out of the city, and was now walking on an unknown road in the dark.

   

   He took out his mobile phone to call someone for help, and as he was looking for a number in the phonebook, he heard a rather large car approaching...it was a Hummer. He knew there had to be someone important inside it, for the Hummer was surrounded by police vehicles and body guards. He moved out of the way a bit and kept on walking, while waiting for someone to answer his call.

A very loud noise was heard in the city. People close by felt their apartments shake, and in other apartments the windows shattered under the force of the pressure. Everyone knew what had happened, they turned on the news and waited to see where exactly it had occurred. Finally, all programs were stopped and a reporter was speaking :" The politician XX is tonight the victim of yet another explosion. On his way home after the conference, his Hummer exploded in the middle of the road. Further investigations are being made, as the number of victims is being counted. Three dead have already been reported, as well as five injured, who were transported to the hospital of..."

 

  Someone had answered the phone, but he didn't hear it. The line was cut right after the explosion. Lying on the ground, his phone thrown far away from him, torn to pieces by the explosion...he lay dead, unaware of what had just happened.

 

Author's Note

It is the fear of people in my country to die the way this man died.

Reviews

[Gary Alexander Azerier]

Hello,
Without getting to specific (because this is a bad habit of mine...and I just don't have the time anymore) let me say, worthy as this piece is, you must sharpen it a bit. There is much redundancy and plent of extraneous verbiage. (Take even your last line: "He lay DEAD...UNAWARE of what was happening!" I should think so!) Take the two top sentences: "It was a day LIKE ANY OTHER." then you go on to say: "It was supposed to be a NORMAL DAY." How how this add? Do you NEED both sentences? Do you see what I mean? You also don't need all the description of the violence...just enough to move the story along. What is necessary...what is ESSENTIAL is CONFLICT. THIS...is what impels the story. Not more and more and more descriptions of violence. just a little will do. There MUST be MORE! You need CHARACTER. Why should we CARE if this guy is shot? Who is he? WE DON'T CARE...because YOU...don't MAKE us care! You say: "People all around him were falling down...He couldn't believe this was happening." Why is this ANY different from anyone else? Why is this guy DIFFERENT from any of the other "people?" Do you see? MAKE HIM DIFFERENT! Make us care! And, aside from just decrying violence...bring to bear a more substantive theme! Leave us with an incisive POINT! (No one really approves of violence and death!) (I hope)

Good luck!