The Fourth of July

You and I were

You and I were an awesome blur

Like fireworks that went off too soon

And now I’m lost in the jungle too

It was like the 4^th of July!

 

Do you, do you remember

Laying under the stars on that chilly September

I know you don’t

But forget, I definitely won’t

All the fun times

All the happy rhymes

They’re stuck in my mind

And this crooked present makes me rewind

To my favorite “what ifs”

Pleasant thoughts that provide a great whiff

 

Because you and I were

You and I were an awesome blur

Like fireworks that went off too soon

And now I’m lost in the jungle too

 

I wish I knew how much you really loved me

I wish I still cared enough to know

Because every time I think of you at night

It’s followed by the heaviest sigh

And flowing tears till the well runs dry

 

Because you and I were an awesome blur

Like fireworks that went off too soon

Now I’m lost in the jungle too

Just like the 4^th of July! 

Reviews

[Riley Justine]

The repetition makes this piece! A really well done job with this. Such emotion as this makes the most amazing art.

[NoelHC]

I like the way you have used repetition in this poem, I feel it strengthens the message. Well written.

[MomzillaNC]

Wistful look at happy memories. I especially like the lines: "Because you and I were; You and I were an awesome blur; Like fireworks that went off too soon"

[DoormanDan]

You have written a nice song here that talks about remembering the fun times of the past. Fantastic job! :)

[Lizardo]

It's a really good poem, the name reminded me of one of fall out boy song!
This is really good, great work on this one

[Leslie Philibert]

Good write with a strong central image.

[Cool Girl]

Listen to the song Fourth of July by Fall Out Boy. Your poem reminds me of it.. Nice job by the way! I really liked the emotion:) Also. thanks for reviewing some of my work! I really appreciate it! Oh and thanks for being so kind to me! I hope we can be friends. I see your from PA! So am I :) How old are you might I ask?

[Dannyisawriter]

I'm 18 years old. How about you???

[Dannyisawriter]

LOL and that song by Fall Out Boy was what inspired this poem :) (FOB is one of my favorite bands!)

[Cool Girl]

I'm 13 xD
FOB is one of my favorite bands too!!!

[Cool Girl]

My profile pic is horrible LOL

[Dannyisawriter]

I thought your last profile pic looked pretty cool.

[Cool Girl]

Thanks:) I keep changing it xD

[Dannyisawriter]

LOL I'm too lazy to change mine :P

[Cool Girl]

xD I like yours