Three Shakespearian Sonnet Parodies

Why does thou politics promise such beautiful days

Why does thou politics promise such beautiful days,

And make words travel forth into minds that choke,

To let thoughts overtake in ignorant ways,

Hiding sun-filled fire and revealing only smoke?

Tis not enough that your eyes deceive and peak,

To see only storms that have weathered your face,

For no one well of such ego can speak,

Of such words that cure the disgrace,

Nor can they give wisdom to grief,

Though you insist virtue, you are still at a loss:

The offender and offended are weak and offer weak relief

To them that bear the blind man’s cross.

Ah! But those cries are nothing but sickness in the head,

Promising gold and giving nothing but lead.

Mine eye hath too much sugar on the brain

Mine eye hath too much sugar on the brain and hath steel’d,

Love’s silent form in the fruits of my heart;

My body is the temple wherein tis held,

And awareness is the greatest brains art.

For through the brain you must filter negative skill,

To find where true heaven pictur’d lies,

Which in my eye is hanging still,

That hath windows glazed with earthly eyes.

Now see what silence that turns the eye has done,

Mine earthly eyes have drawn earthly shape, and thine for me

Are windows to my soul, where-through the real sun,

Delights to play, to gaze on three;

Yet eyes this cunning do not grace to rhythm seven,

They draw upon what their eyes see, and know not heaven.

Is it for fear to punch a twat’s eye

Is it for fear to punch a twat’s eye,

That you commit yourself to simp life?

Ah! If you are useless you will have to die,

The world will cry for you like an unhappy wife;

The world will be your widow and not weep

That you have no spring left behind,

When every public widow shall never keep

By their eyes your shape in mind:

Look what a twat in the world does spend

For their place in it, for still the world tolerates it;

But tolerance hath in the world an end,

And kept hidden the world will destroy it.

No beauty or love in that eye sits,

That on themselves such coward’ous commits.