The Dark Days

    There are days that I can not allow myself to think about. The dark days that we no longer speak of. Those long ago days when the forest shadows were their deepest...those enticing shadows that pulled us in to rearrange our minds with their spells and incantations, only to leave us lost as to find our way back out again. Those days that took their toll on us...on all of us. The boys were just little then, already men, with their wise old eyes set eerily in their little boy faces. We pretended so hard not to notice...not to see what we were doing to them. We hid so perfectly under the majestic robes of our crimson oblivion.

   It was yesterday that I went rumaging through the closets, cleaning them out to make room for the review, and a single photograph fell out from the last box...floated down to the floor so effortlessly...and I knew before I even reached for it that it was a mistake. I knew not to even flip it over, because the image held there would burn its perfect hole of truth through my carefully constructed re-arrangement of the past. It took years to create the lie to make the truth into something that I could live with...and what took years to create would burn up in a second with this one image revealed upon a faded photograph. A young girl with the candy still left in her eyes...and the dress...oh yes that navy dress to match so cleverly those little boys in sailors hats clinging to my skirts in rosebuds and cherub masks.

   We looked so perfect...so fresh...such a storybook splash upon the world. Would anyone have guessed the secrets that we swallowed?...to eat with every prodigal supper and to wipe, with tainted napkins of rehearsed conversations, that space where mouths had once existed. Where had they gone?...those strange dolls of porcelain and bisque staring back at me? To send a chill upon my fragmented sanity and render it hopeless and bent...snapped from its faltering tether.

   It all came back to me then...the sounds...the smells...the vile in my throat lodged there with the guilt...and the crashing of the wall as it came down hard, slamming my senses into the concrete of reality. I sat there, stunned for a moment in the midst of the wreckage. I placed the photo back into the box and began the long haul and task of piecing together a single moment, that held inside of it a decade of memories...

   And I did not die...

   And I did live through it...

   To emerge with a strength and courage I never knew I had. I had survived...without any of my clever props and chemical cushions. And as I stood to leave and brush the dust and tears from my lap, I came to realize that there were no longer any rosy hues to wash upon this sting of day...

   Only clear images of the truth...

   And I lived through it.

                                      -DannyLynne

Reviews

[Leefi]

Wonderful piece. I felt horrible reading this. I could feel the pain & confusion, here and reflecting into my own life. Well done! I'm glad you survived...so I could enjoy your writing! :)

[Ron]

Hi baby. You did survive and you are still alive. I know which picture without even looking. Yes we made mistakes but ,do you see that the boys are now men and we all do the best we can with the cards dealt to us. We both live with to much guilt, we have paid the price more than once! Look at you now , writing these wonderful stories and pushing through to the other side.The kids may not have everything but what they do have is they are smart good looking healthy and their mother and father love all of them dearly. They will be ok. Baby we are alive and I am so proud of your writing. This last storie for you was hard. But there was a time you couldnt even think about it and now you are writing and healing at the same time. I felt the new found strenght in this story . Great job as always. Your Boo Ron

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful story. The description and story was very good. Take long and hard journeys for us to know our place and where we want to be. I like the complete story. A outstanding story with strength and wisdom. Thank you.
Coyote

[NoneOfYourBusiness akaK..]

~you are strength~ in your words is the offering of strength to those who've yet to find their own~

[Robin]

' A young girl with the candy still left in her eyes ' sigh ...

you did survive DannyLynne , your words a testament to your strength ..