A Families Dinner

A simple family dinner, again the word simple doesn't mean simple as much love as a family has there is an equal amount of tension on the other side of that spectrum

       Thinking back he wasn't sure how it had all gone so wrong and now all he could see was a jumbled mess, it was becoming quite a recurring theme in his life. Perhaps worst of all, he wasn't sure how to stop any of it. He was good at putting things back together, fixing things, that's how he saw his work, he was a psychlogist, a councellor spending his days listening to people, helping them to put their lives, their minds back together. He gave his clients the tools to fix themselves, and yet when it came to his own life... now It appeared to be disintegrating into shambles more times than he knew how to count. He really did wish for a way to make things better, back to how they used to be. But everytime something else always went wrong, and once more, he didn't how or why,

"Jake!" His mum called from the other end of the table snapping him out of his consuming thoughts, "What do you think?" His mum asked trying to bring him into the discussion, "Umm... It's certainly complicated." Jake said as if he was mulling things over, attempting to hide his wandering mind from his family. His mum gave him a short stern look indicating she knew he hadn't been paying any form of attention, "it certainly is a complicated situation, Jennifer, his mum said, turning to his step sister, "without college or education, you will need a job!" His mum said more forcefully than she had intended. Jennifer's life had been spiralling out of control for a few months now, in truth it had been spiraling for atleast a year. She had dropped out of college, fallen out with her mum and her mum's new boyfriend, now husband and was currently living with her boyfriend. Jakes mother Carol had looked at the situation thinking, 'where can her life go from here?' Jennifer getting a job, getting into the working world as well as getting her money, was the best course of action. Jennifer, however, had other more evasive ideas. She turned to her left slightly, as her step-mum Carol was on her right handside then she flicked her head so that her hair covered her right eye. Her dad, Jake's step-dad Mick, made an audible sigh of exhaustion his head in his hands. The posture of a man who'd was sick and tired of speaking to a brick wall, "Jake! How was your day?!" Jake's mum shouted rather than asked, quite obviously attempting to change the subject. That was Jake's purpose here, to talk about everyday stuff, making the tone of the conversation a general, chilled, happy meal where Carol and Mick could give Jennifer much needed advice, the only problem was, Jennifer didn't want advice.

       Scrolling through his own mind, Jake felt like going home, having a shot of whisky, watching some bad t.v and then to be in his cozy bed but alas, the true course of his day flowed differently from this. He searched his mind, scrolling through memories of his work day. Jake understood that his mother was asking him for a funny anectdote, "you know today at work we had a women, waited in the que giving scathing looks to everyone behind the bar of course, she got to the till, first words out of her mouth, 'you'know i haven''t even looked at the menu.' And... While she's 'looking' the entire que is giving me scathing looks and can anyone see how the cycle starts again and again? Nightmare." Jake finished, everybody laughing recognising the irritation in Jake's story as well as those customers in their own memories. His mum smiled, noticing how the customers contradictory behaviour had a distant relation to Jennifer's unwillingness to listen to the help available around her. She thought to herself, 'had Jake intended this? Or was that a cheerful coincidence?" Carol was happy Jake had decided to come, somehow he could make anybody feel comfortable without really trying.

       Walking in to the room, a tall italian man holding many plates entered followed by a shorter women also holding several plates, they were both wearing the same smart uniform of the restaurant 'Carlo's' which ironically had the name 'Putchinos' in frosted letters on the mirror on the wall. The waiters distributed the food to the right people in that chaotic calling of meals with the remembering what your order was called. The family ate their meals in relative silence, making small chit-chat to each other about the food and general things popping up in their minds. It seemed on the surface to be a nice family meal and truthfully it was, but below the surface tension was teeming. Jennifer asked her younger brother, Andy who was sitting accross the table from her, how his food was, Andy's response was a grumble and a glance in the opposite. This was the quietest tension sitting at the table. Jennifers decision to drop out of college wasn't sitting well with Carol, Jennifer's step mother but her birth mother was even more disgruntled with Jennifers decision, Jennifers' mother, Ann, was annoyed at Jennifer but Jennifer had moved out and so the frustration that couldn't be taken out on Jennifer, had been taken out on Andy, his girlfriend Michelle was filling in the blanks of the conversation. Mick wondered to himself that meeting Michelle may have been the best things in his sons life so far, Michelle would be the girlfriend all other girlfriends would be measured against. The girlfriend that would be morned by the entire family... If they were to ever break up.

       The family ate in pleasant silence, tension had popped its head up several times in both little and large forms, it had a reserved seat in everyone's life. But the thing you could always guarantee about families was, as much love as there may be, there was an equal amount of tension floating within as well, it was the mark of a family in the truest sense of the word including the bad as well as the good, "The food is good isn't?!" Cathy said loudly trying to generate a conversation,

"Yes it's very nice, eh?" Jake replied feeling a pang of sympathy for his mothers plight, as well as a discomfort from the silence. Jake had had a nice meal, it was enjoyable but in truth he wasn't just tired, he was emotionally exhausted and physically. He just wanted a shot of whisky and to cuddle up in bed with his other half. The family paid while Jake looked at the desert menu, he couldn't help it, he had always had several sweet teeth. Carol and Mick smiled as they both noticed the sadden look on his face, as full as he was, he always had space for a small desert. The Italian restaurant owners were very loud and very happy, warmly waving the family on their way into the fierce night of wind & cold. During the walk, the family members paired off naturally and Jake found himself next to his mum. Step by step they went Jake feeling irritated in a tired way while his mum felt irritated in an unproductive way, "it was a good meal wasn't it" Jake said to his mum like he had plenty of energy,

"Yes, it was successful" his mum replied in a productive tone of voice. There was a steady pause where mother and son both worked out the true feelings the other was holding back. Jake, who had a hunch on what his mother was truly wondering, "you see, the thing with giving Jennifer advice is, she doesn't need any advice and if she does, she doesn't want it. I think, that when you give her advice she doesn't 'need' to hear, she just... Backs away." His mum listened and very calmly, as if she was already suspecting, "i think you've hit the nail on the head there Jake." Hearing his mother say that was nice for Jake, he valued his mothers opinion so to hear his mum agree with him made him feel smart, he could't help but feel proud of himself. He was glad he had attended the family meal after all said and done.

       After a short walk the family found themselves at the car, "Ok, it's been lovely to see everyone, get home safetly" Jake said,

"Yes it has been wonderful, are you sure you don't want a lift?" his mum asked kindly, "no the walk will be fine" Jake said as walk always gave him time to clear his head before he got home, everyone waved and made their goodbyes, nice to see you and goodnights' and the the car drove off. Jake took his ipod out of his bag, once the arduous task of untangling the headphones was completed, he began his journey homewards. Music in his ears, he allowed his mind to drift through his thoughts, sorting themselves out.

 

       It wasn't long before he was riding the wave of the emotional ocean within himself, gazing down from the top of the tide looking at all the elements within, he was able to see with a coherence that he lacked before. Imagine being at the bottom of the ocean with everything bearing down on you, then imagine the overwhelming task of finding your way to the surface. Jake wasn't sure how he'd managed it, in fact all he'd done was have a politely awkward meal with his family, appearantly it had been enough of a break from his problems to give his eyes a fresh perspective on things. He smiled as he once again, wielded his tools to put himself back together.