Chapter 5

Work hours were almost over and Tamara headed once again to her father's office. She knocked twice on the door and entered as soon as Jonathan responded. A man in his 50s was sitting behind his desk, clicking the mouse and typing on the keyboard, looking at the computer through his glasses. Another pair of glasses were laid on a pile of papers on the right side of the desk, along with a mobile phone.

"Hey, dad!"

"What are you doing here?" Jonathan raised his eyebrows, "I thought you had another statistic to prepare," he continue removing his glasses and rubbing his eyes. He was tired and you could see it too from the bags under his eyes.

"Well, I've put more effort in it this time. It's done," Tamara replied, smiling, but nervousness quickly conquered her, "I-I won't be coming home now because I'm going out with someone. Guess who?"

Suddenly, Jonathan became restless and impatient, but being himself, he only covered it up. He still could not help but wonder who could be the person his daughter was wandering with. Was it a girl? Or the worst - a guy. He never forbade Tamara to date. In fact, he was the one who was always giving her a push. Jonathan wished to see her married yet he did not. He felt empty whenever the thought of not having his daughter around overwhelmed his mind.

"Tell me," he demanded, emotionless with a hint of curiosity in his eyes. Ah, the eyes - traitors of mankind!

"Well guess!" Tamara grinned from ear to ear while her father put back on his glasses.

"Just tell me," he spoke impatiently and tiredly.

"Aron! The bookstore guy. I happened to see him during lunchtime. Isn't that great? Oh, and he looked for me two weeks ago. See, dad? You just need to have a little faith. After all, the man is quite busy since he works in a hospital."

"Doesn't he know here is no flexi time so you can't leave work whenever he wants you to? Besides, you have 20 more minutes of work."

Tamara mentally groaned and rolled her eyes, "Dad, easy! Even though you don't show any trace of anger, I'm sure you are. I was the one who suggested that we should meet in the first place. I am to be blamed."

"Fine, you can go," her father softened, "Did you choose him?"

"What do you mean?" She knitted her eyebrows in confusion as she was preparing to turn on her heels and exit the room.

"To fall in love with him."

"No."

"Are you sure? I tend to think the other way around."

Tamara laughed at what her father was implying and she justified herself, "Dad, according to a research, if one has a crush on someone for more than 4 months, then that is called love. So, no. I'm not in love with him, but there may be a great possibility of me having a crush on him."

Jonathan raised his arms in defence, smiling, "Whatever you say."

"Okay, dad, I have to hurry. Aron is already downstairs. Bye!" Tamara hugged her father left.

Jonathan continued to wave at her until his door was closed. Then he urgently shut his computer off, placed his two pairs of glasses inside his coat, his phone in his pants pocket and took his keys, storming out of his office and inside the elevator.

"Easy, old man! I didn't know you could actually run."

Jonathan looked at a smirking young man and replied, grinning, "Neither did I, Nathan."

The two men laughed, but then as silence covered them like a blanket, the old man impatiently kept looking at his watch while tapping his foot. In the meantime, Tamara was already reaching Aron who was waiting near the receptionist's cubicle, his hands dug in his dress pants pockets.

"Hey, Aron!"

He immediately stopped looking around the building and beamed, "Hi, Tamara! So this is where you work."

"Yep. I must say that I didn't think that you would want to meet again."

Aron raised a mocking, questioning eyebrow, "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know," Tamara, whose cheeks were already a crimson color, quickly looked down. Oh look, Tamara thought, trying to keep herself distracted, the white sandstone tiles are so beautiful! I'll count them, maybe Aron would forget what I said and he'll change the subject. One, two, three, fou- Oh, this one has black dots on it-

"Alright. Leaving that aside, are you up for some pizza?" Aron masked his chuckle clearing his throat.

"Sure!" She instantly looked up at him and beamed at the word.

The two of them turned to leave the building and froze at a glaring old man who was blocking the way out.

"Wow! Daddy, you're fast," Tamara winced in surprise then grinned. At first, she hesitated to introduce Aron, but she managed to do it eventually.

"This is, um, A-"

I'm glad to meet you, sir! I'm Aron Akerman," Aron snapped out of it and extended his hand which Jonathan shook it. Tamara's father nodded, not giving away any emotion, but then he thought of his daughter and forced a smile.

"Nice to meet you."

Jonathan liked the young man's warmth and succeeded in plastering a genuine smile on his lips.

"Are you the man who has been building up hope in my daughter for two months?"

At first, Aron was taken aback. His wide opened eyes confirmed his amazement. Tamara was fond of him. He liked how things turned after 60 days. He wanted to get to know Tamara better even though his heart was in pain. Slowly, his thoughts wandered from the woman next to him to the one he loved. It was his fault and His fault! The woman he adored would have still been alive if it was not for his detached nature. The Almighty One did not help neither; He let her go! Whenever Aron's look would settle upon Tamara, her smile, her eyes, her gestures and words would remind him of his ex, though the two women were nothing alike. Tamara had dark hair, the other one had light hair, Tamara had gray eyes, the other woman had the same sapphire eyes as his own, she smiled all the time while the other did not, she was confident, the other was not. They were so different yet, somehow, Tamara awoke his long lost feelings the exact way his ex-lover used to do.

"Dad!"

Aron shook his depressing thoughts off and tried to concentrate on the present. Everything in the past few minutes came back to him and he could not help but chuckle. Mr. Lorin was seriously mocking his daughter. Soon, he started to laugh while her father grinned. He quickly coughed to mask it. Tamara shifted her eyes from Jonathan to a curiously smiling Aron and back to her smirking parent. She hissed, glaring at both men.

"We have to go now. Bye!"

With that, Tamara dragged poor Aron out of the building, leaving the old man behind, then stopped outside.

"Why were you laughing?"

He cleared his throat, suppressing another laugh, "You're childish. And why? Because of you father who implied that you're fond of me? You shouldn't let that affect you. After all, it is not true, or is it?"

Aron mocked her which only upset Tamara.

"Of course it's not true!" Tamara stomped her foot and wrinkled her nose.

'No wonder hurricanes have female names,' He smiled at the thought.

She noticed her high-pitched tone and her alarmed state so she returned to her composed self, repeating the statement in a calm voice.

"I mean, of course it's not true. I'm hungry. Aren't you hungry because I am, so let's go eat because I'm hungry and you should be, too-"

"Tamara, breathe."

She inhaled and exhaled then nodded and started walking, leaving Aron behind, a smug smile on his face.

"The car is that way," He pointed to the opposite direction she was going.

"Of course, um, it's that way."

Mumbling to herself and squeezing her eyes shut, Tamara walked past Aron who was chuckling. They hopped in the car and arrived at a pizzeria, ordering a big chicken pizza and two cokes. He offered to pay. She agreed on one condition: next time she would half pay. They both sat across from one another, stealing glances and making weird faces. The place was crowded and the music was a bit too loud for their taste.

"Aron?"

"Huh?" He looked up at her, biting from his slice of pizza. She was hesitant as if she were afraid of his answer.

"Do you believe in something that has power over everything?"

Aron smiled, "What kind of silly question is that?"

"A silly one as you mentioned," Tamara mumbled to herself, "But seriously now! Do you believe in gods or goddesses?"

He hesitated. He figured out where that discussion was going.

"No, I don't believe in gods or goddesses."

"Then do you believe in God?" Once again Tamara hesitated for a second and was still hesitant.

"To me God is dead! Why do you ask this kind of question? Why would I believe in Him, He who is a cruel and indolent God? I don't need and I don't want to believe that He would actually care about me and my well-being, and do you have any idea why? Because he is not slow to anger, merciful or loving!"

As his tone was getting lower and lower and his eyes ignited fire within them, Tamara's heart started to beat uncontrollably fast. She was amazed and angered by his words against the Lord, but it seemed that the way he said them petrified her. She gulped and watched him as he was trying to compose himself. His eyes softened a bit but hardened back when, with eyes that held fright and outrage, Tamara asked him a question.

"What happened to you?!"

"Nothing! Nothing good."

"And why are you yelling at me?"

"I didn't mean to- I wasn't-" Aron heaved a long painful sigh and continued in his normal voice, but sadder, "Look, it wasn't my intention to yell at you. I'm sorry! I really am. Forgive me."

"I forgive you, but," Tamara paused and watched him as he was rubbing his eyes, "God is not cruel, He is merciful. And more than anything, He is loving. He bears an endless love for you and for me, and for everyone! You hate Him that much?"

Tamara, worried and hurt, wanted to give poor Aron a hug, but decided against it as he quickly responded to her question. He had a great fire in his eyes that seemed to be feeding his hatred.

"Yes, I do!"

"But He gave everything to save you, so you could have happiness! Do you even know what dying on the cross mean? It's the most atrocious way of dying!"

"Tamara, I don't want to upset you more so let's stop her-"

"No! Jesus' hands and feet were nailed to the cross while His knees were flexed and rotated laterally. Do you have any idea how excruciating this is? And this is just the beginning. This position slowly killed Him. With his knees flexed, He must have supported his weight on the muscles of the thigh. The strength of thelegs soon gave out and the weight of the body musthave been supported by the arms and shoulders, but the shoulders would become dislocated, elbows and wrists, as well. Now the weight is transferred to the chest, forcing Him to push down on His feet in order to exhale. It makes breathing more and more difficult. You should be grateful for being able to breathe properly, Aron."

That dreadful method of dying surprised Aron. He never paid attention to it. He was curious, but in the same time he wanted Tamara to stop. It was too horrible to hear! So, seeing him absorbed by her explaining, she carried on.

"As a result, the blood carbon dioxide level begins to rise which makes the heart beat faster in order to deliver more oxygen and remove the carbon dioxide, but it's useless because His increasing heart rate can't respond to the increasing oxygen demand. Soon, His heart fails and His lungs collapse because they're-"

"They fill up with fluid. So the blood loss and hyperventilation cause severe dehydration. All of these combined with the inability to get proper oxygen supplies to the tissues cause death."

"He slowly suffocated to death, Aron," Tamara's voice broke, she was holding back tears.

They both fell in silence, a sorrowful silence, thinking how Jesus gasped in his agony of trying to breathe, He was scourged and a crown of thorns pierced His forehead, letting drops of blood mix with beads of sweat to roll down His face. In His torment, Jesus saw every sin the mankind did, does and will do which only doubled the pain He felt. He died the most ruthless death, so we could be saved. It was so brutal, so demoniac that the Lord, His Father, could not bear to behold.

A pristine tear was slowly rolling down Tamara's cheek. Her sins crucified Him, too. Soon she started sobbing and her vision was hazy. She choked through soft sobs. Aron heard her crying and took her hand in his for support, reassuringly smiling. You could see tears forming in his eyes; he was feeling the guilt along with her. He tried for an entire quarter of hour to say something, but he was too afraid his voice would break. He spoke eventually.

"Do you want to go home?" Aron cleared his throat and gulped then asked the question. Unfortunately, his voice broke a bit. Tamara only nodded, still looking at the ground and trying to wipe the tears. They slowly stood up and headed for the exit. Aron brushed his hand against Tamara's and interlocked fingers with her. That moment neither of them said anything, but kept smiling to themselves while Aron was leading the way to the car through the parking area.

The ride home was silent but pleasant because it was filled with genuine, happy smiles.