My thoughts on grass. No like lawns, not Mary Jane.

My thoughts on grass. No like lawns, not Mary Jane.

Cutting grass is a particular type of activity. I think the population of America can be pretty neatly divided into those who cut grass on a regular basis and those who don't. It's basically the ultimate modern cases study of man's attempt at control over nature, particularly his own. To plant a huge patch of completely useless green plant only to then put forth the effort to keep it at a precise length through the expulsion of great time, effort and expense is an obviously feudal exercise. 

That being said, it just feels good, it just looks good. To maintain a pristine lawn is a simple pleasure for those souls who are able to build a wall around any recursive thought that the pointlessness of the lawn is a perfect metaphor for the large pointlessness of existence that might be able to steal that joy from them. Those who maintain their own lawns are only one subcategory of the type of American who has a lawn. Another type of lawn owner is one who subcontracts out the actual monotonous labor it takes to maintain such an opulent non-essential. Those people are what I like to call, the problem with America. If you want to have a big water wasting patch of human excess in front of your house for the sake of how it makes you feel, then by all means, do what makes you happy. If you are too lazy, or busy, or self-important to put forth the labor required of such an endeavor, and you have a lawn only for the appearance sake, then I have no use for you in my society. If you do not have the wherewithal to actively cultivate your own individual absurdist enjoyment of such a futile activity, then you are missing the point of the entire exercise, and your lawn is a waste.

 There is of course a third category of lawn owner which I think likely contains a very large contingency of my compatriots, those who maintain there lawns without ever realizing why they are doing it, and without enjoyment. If your neighbor is cutting his lawn with a contented grin on his face, so that he can then go inside and drink a nice cold Bud Light and watch Stranger Things feeling accomplished, let him do it, he doesn't have to understand the extreme vanity of the activity to enjoy it. But I'm afraid it is more often the case that Joe Six-Pack is cussing up a storm trying to get his mower to run, then feeling angry and frustrated at the toys he has to pick up that his kids left in the yard and generally feeling like crap during the whole operation.

So, here's the deal. Think about the way you relate to grass as a metaphor for the way you relate to the larger world and see if there is anything in this ridiculous object lesson than changed the way you think about the activities you use this meager existence on. The mortal coil, is no life at all.

Reviews

[Lyssa]

I agree with you on your point in the writing, it makes people truly consider their actions everyday. One comment on the piece itself is in the third paragraph is to add a comma to create a smooth transition:

"There is (,) of course(,) a third category..."

Keep up the work, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this!