Fake plastic trees

A Stage Play by Daniel Cardona

Nothing but a forest of fake plastic trees.

Characters:

Annika: European, 32, semi-hipster, attractive.

Cesar: Latino, 35, snob, unattractive but well dressed (like all snobs).

Setting:

A party at the apartment of a northamerican city where it snows too much.

Time:

January, a couple of years ago, around 3 a.m.

It's late and many have left. Cesar and Annika leave the apartment and smoke a joint on the steps of the building.

Cesar: This is not right

Annika: Talking?

Cesar: I just texted her. I feel terrible.

Annika: A loving message with a heart icon never hurt anyone.

Cesar: I know, but ...

Annika: But what? (she asks almost inaudibly while kissing his neck)

Cesar: Do not take advantage. I am very stonned.

Annika: You're always very stoned, you are an adorable stoned and pervert baby.

Cesar: I take that as a compliment.

Annika: She's fine, and so far away. Maybe she is with another guy in a bar or a restaurant. Feeling bad about what she is doing to you.

Cesar: Don't play with my mind. You don't even know her.

Annika: Faking the need to go to the bathroom to send you an adorable text, with three hearts in the middle of the message and an "I love you" written in capital letters.

Cesar: Don't be s**t. (... Annika interrupts him and kisses him aggressively ....)

Someone leaves the apartment. They stop kissing to let pass two drunk hipsters as bearded as Santa Claus.

The gesture of guilt in the Cesar's face does not seem to convince Annika.

Annika: Don't be so dramatic. She does not know anyone in this place and when she comes in a couple of months, I'll already be far away. You will hang nice pictures on Facebook when hanging out together.

César: And you will appear in the photo like an ugly ghost that refuses to disappear.

Annika: A ghost able to speak about Cormac McCarthy without searching in Google.

Cesar: Don't be pretentious.

Annika: I will take that as a compliment.

Cesar: You think you are so clever, no?

Annika: You know what your problem is?

Cesar: You have no idea about my problems.

Annika: You are scared of being with someone equal or smarter than you.

Cesar: Just shut your mouth off. I'm serious.

Cesar hums the notes coming from the apartment. The song is Fake Plastic Trees by Radiohead.

Cesar: I love this song. I like it and makes me feel sad at same time.

Annika: It is a rare combination.

Cesar: Is not (... he gives her the joint ...)

Annika: I will remember you when listening to.

Cesar: It makes me forget where I am. It reminds me when I was younger and went to the pub located outside my city. I always drank a whole bottle of Cherrynol before coming in, to alter my senses, to see them girls all beautiful and to have the guts to do things I would never try being sober.

Annika: You are still the same. You have not changed.

Cesar: How is that?

Annika: I am the bottle of Cherrynol you are drinking in one gulp. I am the one who alters your senses.

Cesar: Come on!!.

Annika: I'm the real tree. The rest is nothing but a forest of fake plastic trees.

César phone rings. Another text message. He reads and replies with a banal message. Then puts the phone in his pocket. He knows he has been defeated by Annika, a smart girl who sensually dances a Radiohead song with that smile on her face ... the one of who has got away with it.

CURTAIN