Penny For Your Thoughts

I wrote this particular piece also when i was fifteen This poem's from what i can remember is about people that pretend to hate you but love you and visa verse Full criticisms please

If I could have a penny for your thoughts
what would you say better yet what would you think
Would I be a millionaire whining and dining in riches
as the image of my facial being soars through the dimensions of your weary mind
but your shelled exterior tries evidently to block out your thoughts of me?
leaving me another sidewalk urchin trying to find a home or hope
Or would i be penniless suggesting that my outer being doesn't process or trigger a spark in your mind making you thoughtless but your warm exterior greets me with the most gratitude , love and kisses like an angel released for the gates of heaven planting seeds on another soul that's lost the war of life.
Now to re-iterate the opening line
If I could have a penny for your thoughts
what would you think?

Author's Note

Ignore grammar problems , tell me what you think :)
For people saying it reads with an london accent
I AM FROM LONDON :-) Read and enjoy
Peace and Love

Reviews

[Bella-Marie]

Very interesting. Very thoughtful. Very powerful.
Very short.
Which is good. The length of this poem makes it straight the the point yet it isn't cruelly blunt. And the fact it is a poem yet... not a poem... makes it very interesting and different.
I like the idea of not using full-stops to make it sound like a waterfall of words and ideas and sentences that somehow make sense as the fall.
I like the main idea about having a penny... or indeed, being penniless... because that is a main theme you have woven into the poem and you didn't do a bad job either.
In fact, you did an excellent job.
Ka Pai.

[YouoweYoupay]

This is a clever write. Weather it reads with a london accent or not, I found the idea intruiging! The anxiety and wonder towards how we are preceived in people's minds, and the swift, obscure references to hypocracy behind exterior warm welcomes. I liked what you had to share. Keep writing.

-youoweyoupay

[OceanTropic]

"lost the war of life"

LOVE this line, so beautiful.

I love how you took such a simple, common saying and elaborated into in this intracy of thoughts and judgements based of others' perceptions and criticisms.

I love the way you weave your words to create images. So nice to read.

[Linzey]

I like the way your poems make everyone think. It's as though you can put your own sources of power into them. Good job like always =)

[Richard Williams]

Interesting and expressive, with some finely honed phrasing.

[Sunny Skye]

Intresting and powerful. A very short poem but very good. Good Job!

-SkyeBlanco

[Short.Nerd]

A great poem! Excellent job (:

[Cherrie Palmer]

a good poem makes you think or feel and a great poem does both.
Great job

[[Rampant♍ Rapture..]

I love this so much...I agree with this allot and it reminds me of many thoughts i have (: you truely have a gift and are great at exspressing your feelings and thoughts into a poem..

[felica mariiee]

wow thats touching

[Jonathan De Elvira]

geez..not much that I've been thinking rather than killing myself...idk...but this poem was so good...