Soothsayer on a Streetcorner

Note: this poem is intended as a satire to display the fallacious sentiments of conspiracy theorists (and their forms of generalized psychosis).

Soothsayer on a Streetcorner

 

No, no,

I insist.

Verily, I tell unto you

that ‘twas not Al Gore who made the Internet,

but the Internet who made Al Gore!

O, my humble flock of pigeons,

how could yunz be fooled by a hologram?

Methinks that yunz do not listen to me at times,

that yunz do not think I can stop global warming with ten ice cubes,

that yunz do not think me to be a bridge to der Ubermensch,

and that yunz really do not speak English,

and merely coo.

I know not to listen to the news because the world scares me;

I know not to walk across the street because I could be hit by a car;

I know not to hear no other truth but mine because I know you all lie;

I know not to learn too much because learning leads to delusion;

I know not to read books because the Illuminati put their messages in every book;

I know to fear God because my schizophrenia tells me so;

I know to run from another homeless person because he might be an agent for the government;

I know not to date anyone because she would be a government spy;

I know not to trust the vendors because they would poison my drinks;

I know not to trust my parents because they are government spies;

I know always to be correct because I know that I am infallible.

Author's Note

No, I hold none of the sentiments of this poem. Hopefully, you read the preamble situated in quotations above the poem.

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like the logic of this poem. Hard to know the truth from a lie today. I like the many good examples in the poem.
"I know not to learn too much because learning leads to delusion;
I know not to read books because the Illuminati put their messages in every book;
I know to fear God because my schizophrenia tells me so;"
I know one thing only. If it will go wrong. It will. Thank you for the outstanding poetry.
Coyote