Silence So Beautiful

I will find my life somewhere along the line,

before a time that I’d have to say goodbye.

I will pay my dues, the slave master’s tribute,

so that my freedom, sweet freedom, I can pursue.

I will love the land as my true, single home,

my blood is the tarmac, my veins, the roads.

The water, my patience, the tall grass my hair,

the wind is my breath as I breathe in my air.

But I am still one, still strongly here,

no matter what happens, I will stay with you, my dear.

No darkness fall on you, as I will protect,

no nightmares will plague you as you sleep in your bed.

So such silence I’ll walk in to get to you,

no matter your companion, my love will be true.

It will not matter if I turn black and blue,

because as long as forever lasts, I will always love you.

Reviews

[.shalynn.009.]

Reminds me a bit of the work of Pablo Neruda, with the combination of nature, love of your home, and promises to a beloved. Another good job with the rhyming, it didn't make any too noticeably awkward of forced spots. Whoever you wrote this for (if anyone) is lucky, adn should feel honored to be presented with such a talent as yours. Thank you for the RR.

[State of Grace]

Great write! :)

[Ravyne Hawke]

Beautiful poem, Luke.. I love all the imagery of nature in the first part of the poem, symbolizing the longing to be one with nature and yet needing to be there for someone.. someone loved deeply. This is magical and lovely with all its longing and need. Excellent write, my friend.

[Celeste21]

Melodic, fresh, beautiful.

[KAREN]

It's beautiful as always! Love each and every word, you always bring your writing to life for the readers!

[Jessi Berlasty]

It's a wonderful poem. I saw two things that can be fixed. The first letter of every line is capitalized. And "my blood is the tarmac, my veins, the roads. The water, my patience, the tall grass(,) my hair, the wind is my breath as I breathe in my air." I would put some semi-colons in there to separate it because it reads like a big list instead of analogies.

[Elizabeth Boughner]

This is very very good. I urge you to continue writing, because you have talent. I love when you bring elements of nature in (Wind, Water, Grass) it me think beautiful images in my head.

[JustMe]

I absolutly love it... its amazing with the rhyming and how it flows. just amazing. i love the last line.

[Liz]

Favorite line "the wind is my breath as I breathe in my air."
Beautiful write(:

[HopelesslyDevoted]

great work