The King's Bride

Adriana walked into the room where Damien slept. He’d been dead from days at this point, and she’d already gone to his funeral. She was told by his mother that he’d made a special request that only she, Adriana, was allowed into his apartment first. She had not a clue as to why this was; she was sure that she was not that important.

            But she went anyway, climbing up the stairs to his apartment. She fumbled with the keys for a little bit at the door, but she was greeted with a strange feeling. There was a slight breeze that was not a characteristic of a door opening. Normally, if there would’ve been a cushion of air, it would’ve gone from the door and into the apartment. Nevertheless, Adriana pressed into the room against her better judgment.

            She was the last girlfriend that Damien had had, and the last, closest companion to him. It was for five days that he requested that she stay in his apartment. He told her that he thought he was ill and that he was going to die, although he had no signs of any sickness, not even a common cold. In her mind, he was going to be fine, but she stayed in his apartment for five days, not even leaving. If she would go towards the door, or sometimes if she would just glance at it, Damien would start to cry. She wasn’t sure why he was doing this, but she comforted him regardless of the reasons.

            She remembered some of the moments as she stood in his empty apartment.

            “Damien, please don’t cry.” Adriana said to him.

            “I’m not worth anything…” Damien replied.

            “Don’t say that, you mean so much to me. You’re a talented musician, your book is about to be published, you’re just fine.”

            “I’m not okay with being just fine…” He would sob more, and there was nothing that Adriana could do. She would embrace him and kiss him and rub his back all that she could, but she could not seem to get Damien to shake this feeling of death. She did think of one thing that made him feel better, and it went like this:

            “Damien, let’s pretend that, you’re king over the land of Dalmatia…” Adriana said.

            “…and you’re my lovely bride?” Damien asked.

            “Yes, I am.” Adriana smiled.

            “Thank you.” Damien tried to force a smile through the concrete veil of tears and frustration. He succeeded to a certain degree, but it was short-lived, as his sadness returned.

            Adriana worried about him, as he was in this bad of a condition from the first day. His condition worsened, and she wondered how it could’ve gotten any worse without him being dead yet. She was certain, half-way through the first day, that Damien would commit suicide. So, for this reason, she took all of the sharp objects out of the apartment. But, she couldn’t leave the apartment, so she called one of her friends on her cell phone, briefly explained the situation to her friend, and there would be a knock at the door sometime in the following hour. The friend took the sharp objects to her car and said that she would lock them away in some safe place and bring them back when Adriana said so.

            Damien did not eat for those five days; he would only sleep next to Adriana when she would be ready to do so in the middle of the afternoon, right when she would try to eat lunch. Her concern grew and grew for him; she didn’t know how long he was going to last.

            But her concern was brought to a level state, where it neither progressed nor lightened. It was as if her worries were suspended, but put right into her face. The time of this came when Adriana decided to go into the bathroom; this was on the second day that she did this.

            It was at about four o’clock in the morning, and it was Damien who had woken her up. He’d had a nightmare and needed to be held for it. She thought it was a child-like act of his, but she was dealing with her boyfriend, whom she already knew was bipolar and suffered from chronic depression…she just didn’t think it would get to this point. She was, in some way, enthralled to be in his presence, to be wanted by him. All of her life, she’d never had that feeling; she’d always been put down by her peers, by her parents, by strangers that she would meet. It was nearly the whole world that had it out for her, to make her life miserable. But she met Damien. He was the man of her dreams; he was hilarious, he was cute, he was very creative, and most importantly, he cared for her like no one else had ever cared for her before.

            As she was in the bathroom, realizing all of this, she looked into the mirror. Her bloodshot eyes told her that there was some point that she’d crossed, not too long ago, that told her she’d had enough. So, she sat down on the floor, leaned her back up against the wall, and started to cry. Her eyes precipitated like angry storm-clouds that had a vendetta with the parched land that they were the overseers of. She pounded one of her fists onto the ground. But her left fist, the one facing the sink, accidentally hit the pipes of the sink. The pipes were sharp, and caused her palm to ooze the liquid that was much too familiar to her. Having her hand cut on a pipe was not nearly as bad at the blades she’d grazed across her arms. She dared not to look at the scars that she knew resided underneath the sleeves of her hooded sweatshirt, but she pulled up the left sleeve far enough to see the scars that she’d inflicted. Tears burst out of her at an even greater rate.

            Damien heard her in the bathroom; he actually had heard her from the time that she sat on the floor, but he didn’t bother to go into the room. It was just now that he thought it would be the best time to comfort his comforter.

            He opened the door to the bathroom and walked in. Adriana was not disturbed by him, as she kept her head between her knees and relentlessly sobbed. Damien sat down next to her to put his arm around her. She leaned into him, and set her head upon his shoulder. Her tears now rolled down onto Damien’s shirt. He noticed her wound on her hand, so he stood up to the mirror and opened it to reveal a cabinet. There was always a medical kit present in his bathroom, as was it now. He pulled the medical kit out of the cabinet and placed it on the ground to open it. He drew out some gauze and antiseptics from the kit and started to apply the antiseptics to Adriana’s wound. She cringed a tiny bit from the sting of the antiseptic, but she was fine. Damien wrapped the gauze around Adriana’s hand once he applied the antiseptic, and then put all of the materials back into the medical kit and placed the kit back in its spot in the cabinet. He closed the cabinet and sat down next to Adriana again. They spoke only once throughout the entire night, Adriana saying,

            “I love you, Damien.” She said through her tears.

            “I love you too, Adriana.” He replied.

            They sat in the bathroom in silence until sunrise.

At noon, they woke up from falling asleep in the bathroom. They smiled at each other for one moment on that day, for they both knew the assurance of each other’s love. Adriana made him lunch, as he had an appetite today. She made him a small sandwich, for that was all he asked for. She helped herself to a substantial meal, and carried on caring for him until the fifth day.

That fifth day, she woke up to him on the floor, having breathing difficulties. She couldn’t do anything for him, since the veins in his neck were turning colors that they shouldn’t have turned. He was dying. The only thing she could think to do was to kiss him; and she did.

And now, she stood in his apartment, wondering about him. She walked around the place, and noticed that there was a note sitting on the bed that the two of them slept in. She picked up the note to read it. It read as such:

            “Dear Adriana,

            I know that by now, you’re probably reading this. I’m not exactly sure where I had the time to write this, or how I wrote this, but either way, this is the last communication I had. The reason I had you stay with me is because you were the only person who mattered to me in the world. I knew that I was going to die, and I wanted to be with the person I loved so much if I were to die. You see, I had been getting nightmares for about half of a year about my death. The nightmare would always be the same, but the night before I asked you to come to be with me, the nightmare was very specific with what it was saying to me…it was telling me I was going to die in five days due to respiratory problems. I didn’t believe it at first, but I knew it was true. So I called you…I had you come over.

            I wish I were alive right now…I would hug you, I would kiss you, I would tell you that I love you…you were the only person to care for me, in all truthfulness, no one had ever been as loving towards me as you have been.

            It’s just all of these things, I want to tell you…if I could only tell you…

            I remember you saying something about me being the kind of Dalmatia, and that you were my bride. I’m assuming that your wedding gift would have been your love…and it’s a wonderful gift.

            Thank you for loving me…I couldn’t love you enough in return.

 

            Love, Damien.”

 

            The letter was soaking wet with tears from Adriana’s eyes. She said back to herself,

            “You loved me enough…” She left the note on the bed and went into the bathroom. She sat down on the floor and looked at the pipe that had so easily cut her hand open. Desperately, she looked for a blood stain on the pipe, as it would be an indication as to where her hand was cut open…and she found it. Desperately, she ran her wrists along this sharp edge, spilling blood over the tile floor of the bathroom. In a matter of minutes, she would be dead from blood loss: she sought this end; she wanted to be dead. As she proceeded in this ritual of death, she repeated to herself only this statement:

            “You loved me enough, my King…you loved me enough…” 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A amazing story. The story got stronger and better with each line. I like the description of her self punishment. The letter free the king of responsibility. But it was a story with a sad ending. Suicide leave people to wonder why and what they could of done to stop it. A excellent story.
Coyote

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is a beautiful dark love story, one that you've managed to write exceedingly well. If I may, just a few bumps in the road that made me stop reading for a few moments:

1. First paragraph: "Adriana walked into the room where Damien slept." This gives the impression that he is alive because you are writing the story in past tense. "Adriana walked into Damien's bedroom." This would prevent confusion as the next words are about him being dead already.

2. "She was the last girlfriend that Damien had had" The double "had" made me stop reading for a moment. "She was Damien's last girlfriend" makes this flow better.

3. "So, for this reason, she took all of the sharp objects out of the apartment. But, she couldn’t leave the apartment, so she called one of her friends on her cell phone, briefly explained the situation to her friend, and there would be a knock at the door sometime in the following hour." This sounds like you almost forgot that your character couldn't leave the apartment..

try this: "So, for this reason, she gathered all the sharp objects in the apartment, and sense she couldn't leave, she called one of her friends, briefly explaining the situation. There would be a knock on the door some time within the following hour."

4. "Her eyes precipitated like angry storm-clouds that had a vendetta with the parched land that they were the overseers of." Try not to end a sentence with a preposition. Try this instead: "Her eyes precipitated like angry storm-clouds that had a vendetta against the parched land they oversaw."

5. "At noon, they woke up from falling asleep in the bathroom" we already know they fell asleep there.. so simply say, "At noon, they woke up."

6."She picked up the note to read it. It read as such:" just leave off the "It read as such:" that is "talking to the audience, your readers" something you haven't done prior in the story.

Sorry for editing so heavily, but I really love this story and since these bumps unsettled me, they might do the same to another reader. I would rather you know where the bumps are than have someone cruely critique this and make you think it is a bad short story when it is actually a wonderful one.

[Lily Mae]

You've mastered these emotions of love well. A very heart felt read.. :) xx

[Julie Beth]

this was so sadd i loved it great job :)

[Hayley]

This kind of has a Romeo/Juliet twist to it. I wasn't expecting the end, but yes, it's beautiful. I look forward to more!

[halflives]

Beautiful. Tear-jerking.