Draw The Line

Upon my shoulders rests your name,
Your face I’ve never seen;
I’ve walked for miles to wipe your tears
In shoes you’ve worn between.

I know we’ve met a time before,
I heard you speak one day;
My back was turned but your voice was clear
When you asked me to find a way.

I picked two sticks up from the ground,
With one I drew a line;
Where angry hands could no longer cross,
Nor words which were unkind.

I carved your name upon the other
And I carry it next to mine;
As I continue on this life long mission
To help you draw the line.

Author's Note

Dedicated to the Walk-It-Out Fundraisers, Inc. walk event from San Francisco to San Diego to raise funding and awareness for two causes: domestic violence and homelessness. :) Visit www.walkitoutfundraisers.com for more information.

Reviews

[LisetteCanWrite!]

Truly a metaphor which could apply in many avenues.. but according to your note sounds as if drawing the line to domestic violence and homelessness.. a very worthy tribute.. and if only every household everywhere could just draw that line!!! Homelessness is another issue sure to be on the rise in tough times.. but still leads my heart to wonder.. with so much money and resources in our great nations .. why in the world should anyone be homeless.. very sad indeed! Loved the flow, rhythm and rhyme.. ending with helping you draw the line.. which touches each soul that reads.. can apply to any and everyone that could be inflicted or touched by either issue.. walking for miles to wipe someone's tears... could imply helping someone over a very long length of time or working in an industry whereby you have aided many.. this could be felt by anyone working in such a high cause.. touching the angels that help others.. very inspirational.. loved it! =)

[D. Nelson]

If only more people could figure out how to draw that line.

This is a very tangible poem. I can taste it and manipulate it and the imagery flood's my mind.

[Brette Medb]

There are so many images and meanings here, which truly makes it a great poem. It opens the eyes to so many possibilities in life, ones horrible and others hopeful. This was truly wonderful.

[*~Poetic_Essence~*]

I love this...I really like the message behind it...and i love that it was written for an actual cause. To know that people walk and fund raise for two very strong issues is inspiring. I really liked the flow of the overall piece...thanks for the request I enjoyed it...

Well From One Word-Play Poet To The Next Always Remember To Write With Your Heart!

[cilla]

You've written the perfect poem for your ambitious journey. I know you probably feel that this is a small sacrifice for those who have already sacrificed so much ... but ... your words ... and your actions are an inspiration for us all. My heart soars like an eagle ... may the golden sun shine upon your path.

[Michael X]

wow, this is brilliant and touching Dani, the meaning combines with the flow to bring your words to life,
speaks of the deprivation that is suffered by those less fortunate in thought, who have let a world
bent on success to get the best of what life held, and in the many ways your words speak of the day
and how the cause justifies the means, the sacrifice for a better future, a pleasure to read,
its so nice to be reviewing you once again. your poetry and style never cease to amaze me.

[alternative_be]

Sometimes you really do not have to know someone in person in order to know that you share the same beliefs and the same goals in life. Sometimes, you just feel you click and connect for better and for worse. Even when there are miles away and through several timezones, some people can be so alike and supportive of each other. Some bonds made in the virtual world are stronger than irl ones and you managed to express this so delicately!
Thank you for your read request! I enjoyed reading this and even though I am not able to join your walk I still can ride a considerable amount of miles on my hometrainer!

[Bhavya Kaushik]

Ah! That was so thoughtful Dani...
The metaphor is really very striking and appealing to the reader!
What a great cause to write about, everyone should read a this piece :)
Great work :)

[Wondering Mind]

A great message that flows smoothly into the reader's mind. As for the cause, I hope one can contribute in some way by following the URL.

[TamiViolet]

I really admire your conviction to World causes. When one person is the victim of domestic violence, homelessness or the like, we all are because peace is the responsibility of everyone. Life can become such a battle sometimes, and some will never know normality as perceived in general.

I know, dear one, you are going to tell me never to say never, that the power to change is within us. You just might be right, my positve friend. Life can be quite a volatile stranger......

Third stanza is very powerful as is the forth referring to the life-long mission of peace. Remember the song 'He ain't heavy, he's my brother'? This piece brings that song to light.


Compassionate and Steadfast....

Thanks, Dani. Welcome back, dear friend :-) Now I don't feel so lost.

[Bear]

What a fine write!! I like the idea of carving names upon those sticks found upon the ground! Taking the time to carve the names and then to carry such talismans in the Walk-It-Out Fundraiser would certainly draw attention to the individuals fighting the battles. Thanks for educating me thru sharing your write!!
Sallie Bear