One Million Eyes

 

Weaving in and out I lost my way,

distorted by my own soul grieving;

yearning for sight to shed its light

and direct me to where you stand --

the sun did rise and lit up the skies,

not to find you, but to see them.

 

And before my sight

cried one million eyes,

damp and dimming, they waited.

 

They probed my eyes where they found the sun,

shadowed by their own reflection;

as they turned away I swallowed my shame,

letting it catch in my throat, whence I choked; 

for one million eyes seeped, in vain.

 

And before my sight

cried one million eyes,

damp and dimming, they waited.

 

While just beyond the silent skies

through this maze of dark and light,

again came your cries where I found your eyes

caressing their pain, and I wept;

for the sun had set upon their lids,

now dark and dry, they slept.

Reviews

[cilla]

I love what you have done here. It has an ethereal sense about � yet tinged with a sense of something dark and foreboding. It immediately reminded me of the lines in a poem of Kim Addonizio

� stares at the sky, the lights / of all those long-dead stars / going out one by one �

The subject matter is quite different from the other poems that I've read by you but it is beautiful � haunting and enigmatic. I immediately felt the sense of it and came back to it again and again.

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

This absolutly insightful. We see so much that sometimes we are blinded. Well written expression of searching to see.

[Ladysue]

OMG, Dani, this is so moving. The last stanza was amazing! It is a very strong and powerful write indeed! The flow was beautiful. Outstanding piece of writing!!!

[Mr. Lopez]

This was very powerful and as usual, very well written. I have come to expect nothing less. The structure flows well although i was only slightly thrown off by the first two lines of the 3rd stanza.

And they probed my eyes where they

found the sun, shadowed by their own reflection.

They probed my eyes
where they found the sun,
And were shadowed by their own reflection.

I also felt that it wasn't neccessary to start the third and fifth stanza's with "and" . I think that the content of the poem is strong enough to survive without them. This is of course just my opinion. The visual journey that i took while reading this left me feeling as if i were in a dream. The powerful emotions passed back and forth from the many eyes is wonderful. You know that i love to read your work and am a HUGE fan. Keep up the great work my friend.

Mr.Lopez

[Ralphy]

Wow Dani, I don't know what to say. This is a fantastic write and it too brings tears to my eyes. The flow, is awesome but the pain, the pain brings those droplets that I do try to hide...maybe the weatherman is calling for rain. Wonderful write