One Million Eyes

 

Weaving in and out I lost my way,

distorted by my own soul grieving;

yearning for sight to shed its light

and direct me to where you stand --

the sun did rise and lit up the skies,

not to find you, but to see them.

 

And before my sight

cried one million eyes,

damp and dimming, they waited.

 

They probed my eyes where they found the sun,

shadowed by their own reflection;

as they turned away I swallowed my shame,

letting it catch in my throat, whence I choked; 

for one million eyes seeped, in vain.

 

And before my sight

cried one million eyes,

damp and dimming, they waited.

 

While just beyond the silent skies

through this maze of dark and light,

again came your cries where I found your eyes

caressing their pain, and I wept;

for the sun had set upon their lids,

now dark and dry, they slept.

Reviews

[cilla]

I love what you have done here. It has an ethereal sense about � yet tinged with a sense of something dark and foreboding. It immediately reminded me of the lines in a poem of Kim Addonizio

� stares at the sky, the lights / of all those long-dead stars / going out one by one �

The subject matter is quite different from the other poems that I've read by you but it is beautiful � haunting and enigmatic. I immediately felt the sense of it and came back to it again and again.

[A. Amos]

again came your cries where I found your eyes
caressing their pain, and I wept;
for the sun had set upon their lids,
now dark and dry, they slept.

Above lines were amazing, good work

[Natasha Ashway]

Your words rise up like the chorus of a choir, a powerful sound in your imagery:

'one million eyes...'

The wave of emotion - desperate pain - rises and rises up to the sun, and then falls and falls down this steep height to an uncertain end.

'for the sun had set upon their lids,
now dark and dry, they slept.'

It's like the despair sets in stone and silence.

Bravo, Dani. It's been a while. Nice to 'hear' your voice again!

[MuSe Ampoule]

I read this twice just to take in every morsel and at the end found myself sated. 1st I say I love the repetition of the 2nd stanza...it adds a balancing effect. This was very well constructed and I was drawn through the journey of the self discovery and then the disappointment of learning that others might not be quite as interested in that as you were. This was a fantastic write!

[Jeff]

Wonderful and insightful piece.

[Michael X]

Wow- awsome job on this danielle, I am so surprised by the poetical
devices, and the reciprocating point, I loved it, the insight speaks
of life and struggle and what it takes to over come. stunning job :)
this is metaphor for society and so much more :)
"They probed my eyes where they found the sun,
shadowed by their own reflection;

[D. Nelson]

Well, this is very evocative. It brings so many different emotions to the surface with every line and subtle implication made with words (and I think theres a lot of that, which is great.) This piece says so much, but also doesn't say so much, and it makes you think of the those things that are absent. So in a way it says those things anyway. Fantastic.

[Wondering Mind]

I was missing when this was written and I missed your wonderful style of expression.

[MMSzesny]

I like the action words.
Flowed nicely.
Thanks for sharing.

[Adrian K. Smith]

I seek wisdom within the words, only to find that the wisdom is between the words. All that is said, but a frame of reference for all that is left unsaid. The foundation having been laid before us, to either accept as such, or to let go of what we might be thinking so that we might be touched upon another level - gaining that hint of wisdom, that we did perhaps lack before having done such...

[TamiViolet]

Beautiful, captivating poet....you have touched on a subject so deep, for so many of us lose our way. Damn. And never find the way back. Sorry, Dani.

shadowed by their own reflection;
as they turned away I swallowed my shame,
letting it catch in my throat, whence I choked;
for one million eyes seeped -- in vain.

Your power is unsurmountable. You are oh, so powerful, Dani, yet a woman with the most gentle, forgiving spirit I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.

You know, my friend, each day I find myself caressing another's pain, yet the sun sleeps on my eyes, except when you shine upon them. I mean that. Thanks for being here, Dani.