Waiting

Taunting, you summon me.

Drawing me with thought,

whispering between words;

seduce me, steal my soul;

my fingers slip.   

 

Falling into endless fantasy;

desire is all I feel,

empty spaces are all I see;

catch me, silence me, 

as I spiral.    

 

Suspended in motionless time, 

fragile resistance keeps me bound;

obsession ties me; touching,

owning me.

 

Searching for an escape;

the room is dark,      

sanity questions my mind;

I close my eyes and find you there,

waiting.

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[TamiViolet]

I'd really like to be inside your mind when you write these types of pieces as you arouse my curiousity so that I want to know just who you're thinking about...lol. A past lover? Fantasy lover? C'mon Dani... I feel the NEED ...for speed. Haha.

From a serious perspective, I do concur that the piece has a hynotic feel which reflects obsession. It is intense, strong, and dominant as you allow this (mystery lover...lol) to control your desires and thoughts although the seduction is carried out softly and teasingly...as we read :

whispering between words.

You're willingly bound by your desires, and the movement in stanza two is brilliant as I felt myself spiraling.

Falling into endless fantasy:
desire is all I feel,
empty spaces are all I see;
catch me, silence me,
as I spiral.

This one sort of reminds me of your piece 'Unveiling".... Very mysterious, sensual, soft yet oh - so powerful.

Those last two lines send quite a chill down my spine....literally. Bravo, love :-) You know that my favorites will soon be filled with you.
x

[Ladysue]

Oh, this just took hold of me and captivated me right from the beginning. This really captured a myriad of emotions so flawlessly. Absolutely a beautiful expressional piece! I love this piece and my favorite stanza's are the 2nd and 3rd 'cause they just jumped out at me. Really the whole poem did, but the middle more so. Fantastic creating and imagery here.

[ANNA]

Such a masterpiece! I wish I could write poetry with beauty and seduction at the same time! My fav!!!

Much love n respect,
Anna
Hugggsss
XXX

[bluessadmood]

oh strong emotions ,lots of feelings in every i could see
needs a little more work and it gets much stronger ,nicer
i loved those lines...
Falling into endless fantasy;
desire is all I feel,
empty spaces are all I see;
catch me, silence me;
I hit bottom.
wonderful work,loved it all,perfect

[Angelic Darkness]

This reminds me of someone you want to have this control, this
desire for you. An obsession into your own fantasy, what you are
willing to sacrifice. There is suspense here. AD

[GraceKelly1974]

wow! "owning me" wow, captivating

[The Viking]

This would make a good trance song. It reminds me of Azam Ali with the images of being suspended, and flowing, soothing words like "endless fantasy" "Whispering between words", etc. It has a sort of hypnotic feel to it. If you could find a different word for "bottom" and "grip" in the first two stanzas that makes use of softer alphabetic sounds, this would be damn near perfection. Nicely done, my dear.

[Angel's Lady]

Almost like drowning the soul in desire, the undercurrent throughout is unmistakable. Simply beautiful...

[Ravenskald]

Wow, this really is what good writing is all about it draws you in,
wraps the words around your legs, then pulls you under ...
Beautiful open rhyme scheme and nice rhythym

"Falling into endless fantasy;
desire is all I feel,
empty spaces are all I see;
catch me, silence me;
I hit bottom."

My favourite Stanza
and not hit bottom yet
:)
~raven