Waiting

Waiting

A Poem by Dani California

Taunting, you summon me.

Drawing me with thought,

whispering between words;

seduce me, steal my soul;

my fingers slip.   

 

Falling into endless fantasy;

desire is all I feel,

empty spaces are all I see;

catch me, silence me, 

as I spiral.    

 

Suspended in motionless time, 

fragile resistance keeps me bound;

obsession ties me; touching,

owning me.

 

Searching for an escape;

the room is dark,      

sanity questions my mind;

I close my eyes and find you there,

waiting.

 

 

 

 

 

© 2008 Dani California


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I'd really like to be inside your mind when you write these types of pieces as you arouse my curiousity so that I want to know just who you're thinking about...lol. A past lover? Fantasy lover? C'mon Dani... I feel the NEED ...for speed. Haha.

From a serious perspective, I do concur that the piece has a hynotic feel which reflects obsession. It is intense, strong, and dominant as you allow this (mystery lover...lol) to control your desires and thoughts although the seduction is carried out softly and teasingly...as we read :

whispering between words.

You're willingly bound by your desires, and the movement in stanza two is brilliant as I felt myself spiraling.

Falling into endless fantasy:
desire is all I feel,
empty spaces are all I see;
catch me, silence me,
as I spiral.

This one sort of reminds me of your piece 'Unveiling".... Very mysterious, sensual, soft yet oh - so powerful.

Those last two lines send quite a chill down my spine....literally. Bravo, love :-) You know that my favorites will soon be filled with you.
x



Posted 16 Years Ago


3 of 3 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I always wonder what you are thinking about when you write your poems. Beautiful, timeless and still a little mysterious. :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

What a mysterious melody, deeply moving in a moonlit darkness... A soft, sensual world, almost fearful yet laced throughout with a sense of intimate possession. Beautiful...

Craig

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Powerful. The images are vivid, but each one is brief, giving the poem its chaotic quality. I think that, in this case, that quality really adds to the poem, going beyond merely describing the obsession and making it real for the reader. Excellent job. :)

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I was just scrolling on pages to see if I could read something interesting, and boy did i find it here! The way you use your words definately makes the emotions stronger and I liked it, liked it alot. I wish I could write poetry like this, but sadly I stick to stories because they are less challenging.

Two thumbs up! Glad I checked this out

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

You've captured the essence of surrender of will to whim in a brilliant way�your use of "Taunting"- "summon"-"steal"-"fragile resistance"- "obsession"-"escape" added more power to the meaning of this "haunting" desire, whether in daydream fantasy or as one rests to sleep.
The stanzas were composed perfectly to add motion to this entrancing piece.


Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Your words are, oh! so very powerful. This sounds like a dream you cannot escape from, or maybe a nightmare.... some of your lines tell me you are haunted by these feelings of submission, you can't rid yourself from this fantasy. Whew!, that made me sweat. LOL

Tony

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Yes, waiting for what? This is a truth that many live Dani and it isn't always a whispering happy existance, I think we are better off fighting loneliness and hang the expense of being at the beckoned call of an oppressor and control freak, better to do the waiting than hand over our self repect to the whispering waiter! Beautifully written as always with a fluid pen and soft touch, I was taken to another place while reading this and that is what it is all about for the reader, nicely done.
Cheers :-)

Posted 16 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Ok girl...the ending gave me the chills!!! Dangit you!!!
You and I think too much the same, it scares me sometimes. I hear ya! Preach on!

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

I feel a strong sense of domination here and wanting to be dominated. This is intense, exhilarating. It has a seductive lure to it; a commanding tone all at the same time. Nice work, DC.

Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Spiraling, spinning, feeling and needing, I'm dizzy!!!!
I felt like you were in a rush of a high of excitement.
Excellent write.


Posted 16 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.


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1201 Views
29 Reviews
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Shelved in 3 Libraries
Added on November 5, 2008
Last Updated on November 6, 2008

Author

Dani California
Dani California

CA



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