Smudged

 

   

 

 

Bouncing off your reflection,

You become smudged,

As the ripples change direction

In the face of what only appeared to be. 

 

Drifting away in pieces,

Transparency allows tainted vision 

to find the bottom,

Where I plant my feet. 

 

I wait for the wind to shift currents,

Moving the earth beneath me,

Thus allowing your face, once again,

To meet with my eyes; 

 

But this time,

I won’t be surprised.

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Passion for Literature]

the speaker offers an eloquent expression of being able to see clearly...the loss of ambiguity

"Transparency allows tainted vision
to find the bottom,
Where I plant my feet."...the notion of finding strength is conveyed so nicely in your word choice

"I wait for the wind to shift currents,
Moving the earth beneath me"...powerful sentiment of expecting what is to come

"But this time,
I won't be surprised"...few words, yet articulated very well

the title communicates the speaker's state of mind and is an excellent choice for this poem

I love reading your work...you are so creative is your words...VERY NICELY WRITTEN!

[Poetic Injustice]

Nice you. *sigh* ~hug~

[Wicahpi]

interesting choice of art work, nice.
well written, good job

[MandarinOranges]

you write so very well that i can not criicize thia at all. and really, there isn't praise enough to convey how much i truely enjoyed this poem.

but this time
i won't be surprised

ah! i love that!!

[Mariah]

Wow...powerful poem.


'Drifting away in pieces,

Transparency allows tainted vision

to find the bottom,

Where I plant my feet. '

You are a true poet, wow.

[Marie]

Wow. All I can say is Wow.

[Seriana]

Oh, this seems a wee bit different for you girl! It was so simple, non-flowery, yet it hurt like a knife. This is my favorite line:
"Transparency allows tainted vision"
Such emotion. You know I get ya. ;) Great job!

[darkgurl]

This is a wonderful piece here like the emotion you put into this...Kim

[The Tao of Bri]

I love this! The art work is enhanced by your words and the emotions of being adrift to find a place to plant your feet frimyl....stabilization and balance in this hopeful piece!