Just a Dream

 

Can you hear me

As I whisper your name?

Across the ocean

It travels in vain.

 

Can you see me

As I stretch out my hand?

Across the miles

To a distant land.

 

Can you feel me

As I caress your cheek?

Across my mind

It’s you that I seek.

 

Can you love me

As I draw you near?           

Or was it just a dream?

You were never really here.

 

 

 

Reviews

[Adrian K. Smith]

I think the fourth stanza poses the most intriguing question, in the sense that the Love itself is what may have been the dream - while the rest - was reality. Yes, I know I tend to charge out to left field sometimes; but you could be standing right next to the person and wonder if the emotions were a dream...

[DanaRegen]

"was it just a dream?"
Very nice poem, its well written, and an overall lovely poem. Great Job!

[Haley Smith]

This is very bittersweet. The repetition of "Can you...?" is incredibly powerful. Great job!

[AK]

Very nicely done!

[vindictivesunshine]

The permeable dream, subconscious reality. The true anomaly of love and its odd step children. I love the imagery.

A great read.

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

Nice images here - like the dreamlike, misty, smoky feel to the words and phrasing.... asking the question - is this real what I feel? Good one

Kath

[Loribeth215]

Hi Dani,

Very good. How many times have we all wondered if we were in love alone?

[R J Askew]

I love these simple 'pattern' type poems, especially when questions and repetitions are used as here. You engage the reader swiftly and the economy of words gets right to the point. So it is effective poetry.

[Enigma]

Wow!! Such an enchanting piece. With simply stunning use of imagery accompanied with a set of perfect rhymes, you have a master-piece posted up there...
It grips the reader till the end and well, I loved it!! It's beautifully written...
I'm glad you requested me to read it...^_^
Excellent!!!

[*** Hey Jude***]

With the vigor of a lover, you have combined metaphors in a collage of loving words that are consistently blooming, invigorating, and full of hope! Keep shining ~ Jude :-) xo

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Your poem is so beautiful. Your words are eloquent and concise. I imagine as I read. Hope I can write like you some day.