Pride's Funeral

Was there a shred of truth to the madness? Were the words spoken, though distorted in its portrayal of events, perhaps worthy of listening to on some oblique level? Am I the less than perfect person I have always feared myself to be?  

 

Action and reaction at its base level.  Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

 

Please, point out to me all that is wrong with me so that I may grow, so that I may become the person whom I admire most. But, do it in a civil and forthright manner. Not indirectly direct, or in a hurtful and demeaning way.

 

The problem with becoming the person I admire the most is, it’s difficult to admire anyone when you know that they too, are imperfect. 

  

So, now what? How can I mimic another, if no other is any more worthy than I? Of course, there are those who proclaim to be great. Those who are self appointed judges of character. Those who point fingers in haste, quickly forgetting where that finger has been.

 

Is this not a judgment in itself?  Where does it all begin and end?

  

I want you to tell me when you think that I have done you an injustice, but please, TELL me when that is what you think.  Do not broadcast to the world what “type” you believe me to be, especially when your facts are as clouded as your view.

 

Speculation is not fact by the way. 

 

At what point did we become so prideful?  At what point did we forget to check our own backyards before we started climbing fences? Certainly, this type of fence climbing should be discouraged and frowned upon.

 

At what point did we, mankind, forget how to love one another?  Or did we ever know how?  

 

I want to be the best person that I can be.  And I need you to be the best person that you can be.  Simultaneously.   

 

Pride's funeral. 

 

 

 

.

Author's Note

This is a draft. After reading it over, I've decided to work on it more, expand... I'm keeping the piece up. Suggestions (constructive) are welcomed. Thank you.

Reviews

[Dizzy-Izzy]

Hey Dani...
I will try to recreate what I said previously but I am sure it won't be exactly the same...

I am so uncomfortable most of the time with the person that I am... but, I wouldn't want to be anyone else... does that make sense?? It isn't that I feel better than... anyone... just that I am comfortable with the things that I believe... about life, about love, about others... Pride's funeral ... Where is it that pride trips me up?? I don't even know. I guess it means being able to give up so much of yourself... to accept everything about someone else...

I tried once to tell someone about an injustice that I felt they had inflicted upon me... Ohhh my, that did not go well at all... People are so less than... I don't know how to describe the feeling... it is so empty when you look at someone in the eye and see their contempt for you... when all you did was tell them the truth... It is my experience.. that no one wants to hear any truth but their own... time and time again... in every relationship... I guess the grace of life is in being able to accept the fact that most people will not ever really see who you really are... and be able to love everything about you... so true... that is what it means to relate... I guess you have to be willing to give up so much of yourself... I know people will vehemently disagree ... but I wonder if they are in a relationship??? If so, I wonder if the one they love has to give up so much of themselves as the purchase price of that love??? I talk too much... so unconstructively... I love your work Dani... Thank you..........

[Carl]

I really like peices like this. When emotions just spill on the page in the form of diolouge. Im sure this type of senario has been played out many times. in a lounge in a kitchen in a bed room. All i can say to you is just be Dani. you have traits and gifts that are unique to you. Pride can be a stubbon girl at times and sometimes if we really want to change we have to lay her to rest. dreams and visions can still be reached i know you have talent and ability as a writer and i'm certain that pieces like this have turned keys in locked doors for people. you have my respect and my admiration for this peice
Kudos
Carl

[Colleen C Dunphy]

I enjoyed this.
Have you ever read my myth of creation? it answers the question of the chicken in the egg, at least in my mind.
I look forward to the completed version.

[Janice Ann]

Shew! This had my head spinning in the most fantastic way. Oh how these feelings seem to creep right on you...and you know people around you have to feel the same...and yet your imperfections are just far much greater in comparison...this was a wonderfully written piece, I don't think you need to add much more...it proclaims the point quite clear, "At what point did we, mankind, forget how to love one another? Or did we ever know how? " Amazing! and brazenly beautiful!

Love,
JaniceAnn

[T]

I like this writing. This is something I think about a lot.

You made an important point, that can relate to mediation, when you stated, "I want you to tell me when you think that I have done you an injustice, but please, TELL me when that is what you think. Do not broadcast to the world what "type" you believe me to be, especially when your facts are as clouded as your view." Our arrogance in our opinions is definitely a weakness that can be eradicated by mere understanding.

I also like the statement, "At what point did we become so prideful? At what point did we forget to check our own backyards before we started climbing fences? Certainly, this type of fence climbing should be discouraged and frowned upon". Some people are quick to compare themselves with others but are oblivious to their own faults. I am actually experiencing that with someone right now with someone I know. Lol.

Anyway, that's a good topic to write about and I would love to see you go deeper into it.

[Ralphy]

What you express is a powerful statement as you question yourself. Athough a powerful statement, a string of unanswered questions, the reality you display is embracing each word. I like this analogy of words and phrases since I have experienced it myself.

The one hardened note here is quite common and is simple to acknowledge, we are our worse critics. Nice write Dani.

[Wildfleour]

I adore this, although I'm not sure it reads like a poem (which is the category you put it in). But Dani, I really think this is one of my favorites - not only of yours, but on the cafe.

I learned myself that pride comes before the fall. I used to be so "proud" of my health, the shape I was in, etc. Mono still found me and kicked my butt. Still is kicking it.

[Anima Inspired]

Wow...this was truly a deep piece of writing. I love the way that you interwine delicate words with really "punchy" thoughts; it's a great way to keep a reader thinking and dreaming at the same time. I also love the way that you allowed the form to take shape, even though it is quite unconventional...there are no fences to your written word, and that is the beautiful part. Nicely done.

[Vanessa]

The first stanza was amazing and the words were nicely put.
The seventh stanza's last line was remarkable, as well. The line about fences made me smirk a little, I must add. Altogether, this was brilliant. I think it's the best I've read from you!!

--vk

[Bhavya Kaushik]

After reading this piece of writing..I just sat , trying to find out suitable words for the review..But I was numb...as it is so so beautiful and I guess I still don't have enough words for it :)
When I first started it , I thought of it as a poem prose and yeah! as such I'm not a fan of them...but still I continued reading it...as it has been written so beautifully...
what a great and thoughtful write it is.....Very very honest work!
AWESOME!

[Silent Kim aka mizmetap..]

This is age speaking, that morality setting in. We've lived life and we see the wrongs we've done access what we should have done and find what others gribe about are trivial. We want to be better persons, yet mistakes we do make and others will have something to say about them.

Your thoughts are clear and the writing is good. I can see you wanting to prefect it only to add more thoughts on the matter. Pride is one of the deadly sins and probly the hardest to eliminate from our lives. Pride will keep us hungry because too much pride will not allow us to ask for a piece of bread, pride will keep us pretending that we have a job when we were let go weeks ago. Pride will make us believe we are better then the next person, because we have a concious or morales to keep us from doing the things that they do that is not favorable.

I wouldn't chnge words on elaborate more.

Great thoughts and feeling throughout the piece.