My god! This is magnificent. Oh, the ending is wonderful, simple, and delicate. This piece is so melodious... What a beautiful style of writing.
***My favorite stanzas:
"My easel still smudged
With remnants of love
On past works of art
Shading you"
-- Every line has its purpose in this piece and this stanza is no exception. It gives the reader such a clear, yet soft perspective of the narrators object-of-desire...
"I pick up the brush
Though careful not to rush
And I begin to paint
Something new "
-- I love the idea of clearing a canvas "smudged"...and starting "anew". ..I feel completely absolved. Thank you for this beautiful poem.
this is a beautiful and very emotional write, girlfriend...i understand where you are coming from. it is always hard to start 'something new' after something else has not worked out. the remnants of past love always shadow what is to come...but it can only serve as a lesson of what not to let happen the next time around.
you never know what you may find
for the sea of love is vast and wide
if you have your heart open
to the endless possibities
you may find what you seek.
You ever get one of those paint by number sets when you were a kid? I always loved those. I am sitting here trying to remember, it seems to me that the painting looks more authentic if it isn't exact. You know what I mean? If the colors sort of blend together, it looks as though you did it free hand, it looks more like real art. "Real art"... is when the colors all blend together, don't know where I was goin with that.
I just loved this. I loved the color of the words and I loved that it rhymes. I guess some people think rhymes are cheesy or meant for children but not me. The rhythm gives the words a rocking motion quality, very soothing. Who doesn't need soothing from time to time?
Truly a great poem. The writing, fluent and meaningful. The thoughts, brought to life. Can feel the saddness but also the ability to start "something new" even if being careful of it. Don't stop..........
A most striking piece
one that etches something new
that something can only depict something wonderful
really a treat, and I certainly liked the thought of
Painted the mate of my soul
In a dream
you really are full of wonder and mystique
and this is really beautifully written!
Posted 16 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
Very good metaphor here. (the font color is nice, but a little difficult to read with, maybe a tone or 2 darker would help)
Great form, great flow, wonderful choice of words, very well painted imagery, very well imparted message.
Good poems get read once, great poems get read twice. I read this twice now, but I think I will read it again later :)
Wow!!!!!!! Dani, this rocks! I loved the image of the easel with traces of paint as a metaphor for a past love...I can sooo relate to it! The end offers hope wrapped up nicely in your lines...I think this is my favorite of yours ;) LOL
I love the references to artwork and the basic moulding of that one soul that comes to you in your dreams. This is quite delightful. Thank you.
Light,
Siddartha
Again, Ms. Dani - you take a concept to weave a story. I love how you do it. This time it's a painting - one that was perhaps ruined or not finished and one that is about to begin.
A Noiseless Patient Spiderby Walt Whitman
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd fort.. more..