This was inspired by my thought that although we don't always know the person we are communicating with on the other end of cyber space, if the connection is positive, and brings joy.... does it really matter? Should it matter?
Tell me what you think...
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I wonder too you have broached a subject we all must think about. I have friends on line i have and never will meet. Some friendships span years and some are new. Some we just click with straiht away andothers the rapport builds gradually.. I wonder if we could meet with net friends face to face would that friendship still stand
My thoughts on this or sort of mixed, if it's just a little chit chat or something in passing then maybe it doesn't matter. But should the friendship go deeper than that and feeling's are coming into play then in my view it should matter. If we feel that we're becoming involved in something other than friendship say falling in love with the other person. Then , yes it should matter to the point that we try to find out what type of person this is and whether they are being honest in their feelings and telling us the truth about themselves. So many people have not only had their hearts broken but have had their lives taken. It's not pretty to think along these lines but as there are a lot of good honest people out there, there are also a lot of dishonest people, and they prey on other's. My son met his wife on the internet. They have been married for 10 years and 4 childre. 2 his 1 her's and 1 their's, they have been very happy together. His first wife died of cancer. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't just like in real life. It's hard to answer one way or the other. I guess a lot depends upon the type of relationship we're forming. Even in the just friends we should be careful. I personally haven't had any bad experiences but knew a lady that did. She became involved with a man over the internet, agreed to meet with him. Upon meeting him he forced her to go with him and took her to a secluded cabin where 8 other men were waiting. She was held there for three months against her will being sexually molested and raped by all 9 men repeatedly. She finally managed to escape. The men were never caught as she knew nothing about any of them not even the one she was involved with as he had lied about everything. She threw her computer in the trash but has serious trauma from the incident. She trusts absolutly no one anymore not even her friends she had before this happened. We can't not talk or become involved with nobody, so I guess we just have to be alert and very careful. Sorry I have been so long winded. It isn't an easy subject to discuss. There are a lot of pro's and con's. I have thought alot about this subject myself and have found no easy way to answer this.
Dani, I think this could be a problem in real time and space as well in the cyber type.
Over the years I have met so many peopl that became friends etc but I cannot say how many of them I really knew. We all tend to 'put on' a face that we think the other person wants, so we seldom allow people to really 'know' us.
Strangely, in cyberspace, it is a bit like talking to a stranger on a train, you never believe you will ever meet again, so you can be yourself.
Here, while it is true we only have the writer's word they are who they say they are, we tend to take them on trust to some degree. While some do get burnt by others, if we are dilligent enough, keep our wits about us, we can soon sus out the 'goodies from the baddies'.
I try to treat my cyber friends on the WritersCafe as I would any friend in person, being polite, understanding and friendly and expecting no less from them.
I have some good friends here, those who are being supportive on a personal level and others who are happy to chat and be friendly.
One thing I have learned over the years is that friends do come and go. The special ones will always be remembered and the others, well, they usually came into my life for a reason, that was mutually beneficial at the time.
People we need to have contact with come when we need them, in person, by cyber space or in some other way. It is almost like the message is more important than the messenger at tmes.
So to my mind, the 60 year old male, pretending to be a 20 year female writer can have as important a friendship or message to impart as anyone else. It is all in the way the friendship etc is percived.
Each one of us has the choice to become more, or less invollved with others. It is our own choice, and if we make the choice and get burnt, we can blame no one but ourselves.
I rambled on a bit and I also think your poem is tops here, asking questions and making us think.
Well...This is really a very different , as this is the first piece of writing which I'm reading about cyber love....
Love in any form is love, I know few people who criticizes it but...I don't see anything wrong in it!
And this is one of those piece with which I guess most of us could relate!
So, really...great piece of writing Dani! :)
I like this thought, " your experience is always valid, your interpretation may not be", Yes we can be elated or crushed and all in the dust of cyber text...intensely seductive, and hard to avoid the hidden power of words, metaphors and hopes and fears! Excellent though...Like reading my mind actually! Got clairvoyance Dani? Or is this my Deja Vu?
This piece strikes dual cords with me. One I have had this same thoughts myself. I have formed friendships on here that I could never have experienced any where else. There are people on here that I care about so deeply that my thoughts and prayers are often with them. There are those that I hold so close that know more about me than my own family. Now the second cord that this hits with me is. I have had an on going issue with a cyber stalker. She has created this imaginary world in which her and i have had a relationship and I speak to her in hidden messages in my poetry. She is not any one I have ever met or will ever meet. But she continues to [pop up to just let me know she has not forgotten me and still longs to be with me. I seriously considered just leaving the online world completely just to ensure she did not attack or go after any of my online friends. But I could not let one person stop me from being with my friends. So here I am still writing and reviewing.
Yeah, I wonder about online friendship too. Does true friendship really exist when you don't even know what your friends look like? Or that because your friendship is not based on physical attracion, it's more real? Sometimes on- line friendships felers out more quickly when you stop contacting with each other. I still don't know the true value of these friendships, but I enjoy having them, and that's the most important, right? By the way, it's a great piece, you had put much thought into the topic.
I can relate to this great piece as I am sure so many of us can
and do wonder to whom we are connecting our thoughts and words ~
I often received good vibes from close connections ~others I can sense
bad vibes from right away~ nevertheless it's experience and I feel it doesn't matter
whether you meet in person~ you have connected with the mind and soul of another~
THanks for sharing~Fran Marie
wow that is deep thinking. I guess in my case, a lot of it has been backwards. People I used to know and see daily are now miles away - and i keep contact with them through the internet. That's how it started for me. Now I have true 'internet only' friends...but I do wonder about them....how real is the friendship
Well written.
A Noiseless Patient Spiderby Walt Whitman
A noiseless patient spider,
I mark'd where on a little promontory it stood isolated,
Mark'd how to explore the vacant vast surrounding,
It launch'd fort.. more..