Unintended

Spoken word

Spinning in circles, going nowhere; jumping hurdles; gasping for air; seeking answers; not what it seems; empty promises; shattered dreams; careless whispers; racing minds; slow down a minute, you're going blind; things that matter, things that don't; people who'll care, people who won't; giving love, finding hate; hold my heart but please don't break; searching for truth; telling lies; lovers laugh; loneliness cries; counting good deeds; subtracting sins; keeping score; no one wins; pain filled moments; stolen breaths; longing for shelter; inching toward death; a loving touch; a long embrace; kissing lips; where is this place; hand to mouth; unattainable wealth; incurable disease; poor mental health; winners and losers; predators and prey...

 

I truly don't believe God intended it this way. 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Tania Leigh]

Dani, I've got to agree with my sister that the flow of this is excellent -- it is such a smooth read that develops a nice fast pace. You have some excellent phrasing here, and it easily causes the mind to ponder many things....a truly great piece.

[*** Hey Jude***]

Love the layout you have used, it seems to make even more of an impact on the strong emotions you have written about! Its good to see work thats enjoyable to read at the Cafe! ~ Jude :-) xo

[poddar kushal]

i appreciate the slow anger that creeps in this piece, the words justifying and denying the life ...

[Ralphy]

Dani, I love this poem. It captured my heart and soul from the get go. It flowed, it rhymed and it was beautifully laid out in a course of time. Finally, the message was clear. Nicely written.

[Forest Green]

Capsulized metallic truths that collect within the lines as if they were magnets. Thoughtful and true...all the way through.

As to God's preferences, it would seem we ought to help each other through this maze of frustration and disappointment.

Nice work!

Daniel

[Candle in the wind]

This is truly amazing! I too believe god never intended it this way but why did he just let this happen and here we are spinning in circles going no where.You struck a chord in my heart!

[Jenny Davis]

I agree! God NEVER intended all the suffering and ugliness going around in the world...this piece is fantastic....great meter, great message, yes! :)

[X]

wow. this is a really amazing piece. i'm serious.
i'm glad you asked me to read it becuase its a really powerfull and incredible piece of work.
it makes me think about things in a new way.
=]]
nice job.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

No don't think in the realm of thing he did intend it this way but in a way he also did cause he gave man the gift of free will and the human race has lost it's way. But your poem should help people stop and think about there lives and what is really happening... i say bravo for that.

[justjenn_2u]

So many intriguing thoughts that race through the human mind. You were able to pen them down with such a graceful flow of words. I appreciate the closure most. Well versed piece! Kudos!

[Kelly D. Burris]

I really feel the "chaos" from the world when reading this. I don't think God intended this either, we kind of made our own mess, free will....but we can change it, we just have to want to enough. I'm changing my 'little world' hoping to leave it better than it was. :)
Thanks for sharing this inspiring write.
Blessings,
Kelly